


Destined to Burn

by CaitlynC



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 78,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29701029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitlynC/pseuds/CaitlynC
Summary: MANGA SPOILERSHow do you live after armageddon? Where do you go after the end of the world?In the years after the Rumbling, those who knew Eren Yeager are forced to live in the wake of his mistakes. As the Scouts and Warriors learn to traverse the world created through destruction, they find friendship, love, and the traumas of living post-war.[This was written before the series actually ended, so details on how the Rumbling ends may be vague/incorrect. It is a completed approx 80k fanfiction that will be updated as it's edited.]
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Jean Kirstein & Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman & Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Pieck Finger & Annie Leonhart, Reiner Braun & Annie Leonhart, Reiner Braun & Pieck Finger, Reiner Braun/Connie Springer
Comments: 60
Kudos: 155





	1. Cursing My Name, Wishing I'd Stayed

The final sound to end the rumbling was a deafening scream from the very man who started it.

The Jaw Titan wings flattered as they dove for Pieck, who hung frozen in the Warhammer Titan’s trident. Someone screamed, and Falco swooped them downward, as far from the steaming body of the Founding Titan as they could manage. 

Eren’s body fell with the head of the Founding Titan, they could see it from the Jaw Titan’s back, and Jean had to physically hold Mikasa back from diving after him. Mikasa had never known anything to be more important to Eren, and if they didn’t stop her, she’d go down with him. 

He was alive for a few moments after the head was disconnected from the boney body of the Titan, but it was only clear in hindsight. The Titans froze with the scream but died with Eren’s last heartbeat. 

The Jaw Titan fell from the sky, Annie fell straight before it even hit the ground, Reiner hung on only through Jean’s arm on his back, and Pieck fell forward onto the back of the steaming head of the flying Titan. As if a light had gone out, all at once, the Titan Shifters among them fell into the arms of their human comrades. 

~~**~~

Annie’s thoughts were light and darkness. 

The world was a blur of colour and light as she managed to blink her eyes open. There was pain in a way she hadn’t felt since she was 12, and the first sound she managed was a pathetic gasp of breath through raw sore lungs. There was no shifting in the pain, no feeling of her bones knitting themselves back together and her skin remained torn in places. She was slowly, without steam, healing the wounds as a human.

“She’s awake,” someone said softly, but it was still too loud on her tired, unprepared ears. 

Jean came into view above her, at the edge of her slowly focusing vision, followed by Connie. 

“How are you feeling?” Jean asked, offering her help in sitting upright. Urgently, Connie put a pile of pillows behind her back to keep her from the pain of attempting to remain up on her own.

“What happened?” She asked.

Connie and Jean shared a look before Connie spoke, “the Founder Titan died with Eren…”

“And it seemed to have brought the other Titans with him,” Jean continued, “we don’t know what it means yet for the others, those who weren’t shifters, but…”

“That’s probably why you’re in pain,” Connie attempted lightly.

It took her a second to understand what they were saying. Eren Yeager was dead, the rumbling was over, and somehow despite all odds, she was lying here alive. Her first instinct was to laugh. She didn’t mean it how it came out, but everything had been so oppressive, so constant, and without a single moment to breathe in years. 

With her first breath in a world without the Female Titan, she laughed. She held her own arms and laughed. Without meaning to, she muttered aloud, “it’s over,” in a low breath.

Again, Connie and Jean looked at each other, for a moment, sympathy clear on their expression. Connie was the first to smile, elbowing her arm gently, “it’s over.”

It took her only a moment after that after she took stock of her injuries, for her to turn her attention further outward. The world caught up with her, and the memories of the fight returned to her in a single tidal wave over her mind. 

Reiner lay, still out, on a cot next to hers, with Pieck laying on the opposite side of him. At her other side, Armin sat with Mikasa at the foot of his bed. The two of them were silent, ghost white, and their eyes were downcast. 

As if sensing her eyes on him, Armin glanced up, and to her surprise, he managed a smile. Though he said nothing, she couldn’t find it in herself to blame him for that. She hadn’t wanted to see Eren die, but she had desperately wanted to see the end of the rumbling and the destruction of the Founding Titan. Armin and Mikasa hadn’t had time to realize that Eren had died within the mind of the Founding Titan long before she’d even been freed of the crystal. 

For her, it had been clear; she’d not seen the steady march towards this inevitable end as they had. It hadn’t been a gradual change for her, the Eren she’d seen through the Founding Titan, and the Eren that existed in her memories of the 104th class was like night and day in their differences. 

She turned her attention back towards Reiner, just in time to catch his eyes, focusing on the ceiling. Until he’d opened his eyes, she hadn’t realized she was worried he wouldn’t. A weight she hadn’t realized existed was lifted, and she managed to smile when he met her eyes.

Just like the first time, he looked confused before he looked shocked, but this time his expression settled in relief, and he dropped his head back onto the pillow. 

“The Rumbling?”

“It’s over,” Annie assured. 

Reiner sighed and smiled, “where are we?”

Annie didn’t know the answer to that one and looked instead towards Connie and Jean. Jean spoke, “a medical camp they set up at the border where… closer to where the rumbling made it, to take care of the injured.”

“When it stopped,” Reiner started, carefully, “were there survivors?”

In the silence that followed, Annie saw Pieck watching from where she lay in her cot. She wasn't trying to sit up, but she was watching no less. All three of them were holding their breaths, waiting for the answer they knew was coming. Their families didn’t make it, there was no way they could’ve, and the silence should’ve been answer enough, but all three of them waited to be told. 

“There were survivors; we stopped it in time to not wipe out all of Marley,” Connie started carefully, “but the numbers are… well, there’s no way to know the extent of the damage.”

Annie kept her eyes locked with Reiner’s and watched the moment the same thought crossed both of their minds: after all of this, their families were likely still dead. After all of their fighting, their suffering, after every desperate attempt to get home to them, they’d failed to save the very people they were fighting for.

They didn’t ask about their families. Connie and Jean wouldn’t have known anyway, they’d never seen their families and knew nothing about Marley, so they kept their dismay to themselves. 

~~**~~

Military officials were in and out of the room as the dust settled and the identifications of the survivors began. 

Strength came frustratingly slow as the hours of the first day passed. All of the Titan Shifters were in and out of sleep throughout the day. Levi came in, bandaged still and looking exhausted, but only for a moment. He was dealing with the Marleyan Military officials and preparing passage back to Paradis.

It wasn't for another full 24-hours that, for the first time, someone entered and did not try to interrogate them and prepare them for their continued responsibilities with the Marleyan Military. 

As he stepped in, Jean stood to block him from entering, “don’t you think they’ve been harassed enough? They’re supposed to be resting.”

Connie stood, too, preparing to shove this man out physically if they had to. Instead, the man didn’t try to enter. He didn’t try to leave either, though and just took off his hat. Annie noticed right away that he was wearing a white armband. 

As soon as Reiner noticed it, he stood and drew Jean’s attention. 

“Did you need something?” He asked, ignoring the confused looks from the duo.

The Eldian man finally spoke, “the Military Officials are busy, but,” he looked behind him anxiously, like he was expecting them to arrive any minute, “we couldn’t leave you here without answers about your families and communities. I was sent to fetch you, but we don’t have much time.”

“You mean-” Reiner started but was cut off by the frantic look of the man.

“We should go now before they see me here without permission-”

Annie, Reiner and Pieck were on their feet without a second thought. Pieck, still getting used to the bipedal thing, grabbed hold of the crutch someone had brought for her. 

Before they could step out, Jean spoke, “this doesn’t seem like a good idea, you’re still recovering, and we don’t know if it’s safe-”

“Come with us, then,” Annie said firmly.

“If there is any chance that our families survived, we need to know,” Pieck gently added as she joined the other two.

Jean shot an exasperated look over to Armin and Mikasa. Armin looked up and smiled, “I agree, they need to know,” he looked at Mikasa, who only nodded, “we’ll come with you, all of us.”

“Thank you,” Reiner responded before turning back around and following the man out with as much urgency as their exhausted bodies could handle. Before stepping out of the tent, all three of them pulled on their red armbands. 

Rumbling or otherwise, there was no changing Marley and the beliefs in one day. 

The walk wasn't long, but it felt like years. Even this far from where the Rumbling stopped, there was only debris. Steam rose in the distance, and chunks of broken earth and shattered buildings that had been kicked up when the titans collapsed had crushed buildings, destroyed roads, and coated the streets in dirt. 

As they walked farther from the medical tent they’d been resting in, the buildings began to look more like buildings. Many were relatively untouched. By the time they reached the Eldian internment zone, the only sign of the Rumbling was the thick layer of dirt that coated everything and hung in the air. 

When the citizens saw the trio coming, in their military uniforms with their red armbands, a crowd gathered almost instantly. They were murmurings throughout the group as they approached, but the general conversation died when one sound rang above the rest.

“REINER!” the shrill, desperate, devastated scream parted the crowd and Reiner’s mother broke through in tears.

All at once, the weight of the world was lifted off Reiner, and it was visible the second he saw his mother. He broke into a jog and had her in a bearhug as soon as she was within reach. 

Pieck spotted her father next, standing at the edge of the group looking just as sick or sicker than Annie had last seen him. Both father and daughter couldn’t make the distance between them quickly, but they moved with urgency and clung to each other desperately. They were just as much hugging as they were holding each other up.

For a moment, a split moment, nothing changed. 

There was no movement in the crowd until one figure, leaning heavily on an old wooden cane, stepped in front of the rest. 

Annie’s world narrowed on the stricken expression of her father. He was exactly as she’d last seen him, aside from a few extra grey hairs at his temple. It was like seeing a ghost; she’d spent so long desperately dreaming of the day she’d come home to him. Until the Rumbling, she’d believed it’d happen, but that hope had died out when Liberio was destroyed.

All was quiet until she locked eyes with him from just outside the internment zone.

“Annie?” 

His voice carried but surprised her in its uncertainty. He was a stern, confident man who wasn't prone to doubt. Yet, he looked worried to confirm her identity.

They’d both begun to believe that they’d run out of time.

Despite the protests of her exhausted body, she urged herself forward in a jog. 

It wasn't until his cane clattered against the cobblestone street, and his arms were around her in a bone-crushing hug, that she realized she was weeping.


	2. I'm Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year after the Rumbling, and the world is picking up the pieces.

###### One Year Later

Their ship docked before lunch the day they returned home from their first trip to Paradis for “international affairs” and to negotiate for further assistance in rebuilding after the Rumbling.

Historia had been surprised to see the two of them but was endlessly kind throughout their stay. Jean had informed them that she’d been filled in on the details of Marley’s Warrior program, and the blame for the destruction of Wall Maria went to the Marleyan Military before the duo had even returned to the continent.

A small part of Annie had still worried that when they left for Paradis, they’d never return to Marley. Like the first time, she was worried something would happen, or the trip would be a trap, and they’d find themselves stuck, unable to go home. Thankfully, things had gone smoothly, and they were able to dock at the Military Base on schedule. 

The re-entry process took only twenty minutes, but they couldn’t leave the base until they had delivered the letter from Queen Historia and went over the details of their conversations with her. It was a necessary use of their time, but they both made their way off the base as soon as they were dismissed.

“Ah, there you two are,” Reiner’s mother, Karina, said as she approached them from where she’d waited outside the gates. She was smiling and hugged them both simultaneously as they approached her, “welcome home.”

Karina Braun, like her son, was a physically affectionate woman. This wasn't the first time she’d hugged Annie, but it was always startling how easily the woman had let Annie into her heart. Despite being quiet and awkward, Karina had opened her home to Annie without a second thought. 

“You didn’t need to come to meet us, mom,” Reiner responded, but he was smiling and kissed her cheek before pulling away. 

“Nonsense,” she said, waving her hand dismissively and turning back towards the direction of the internment, “it’s good for me to get out, and I couldn’t wait to see my favourite children.”

Reiner rolled his eyes a bit, but his smile didn’t falter. Annie smiled too but said nothing as they began their walk back to the Braun home. 

The Braun’s lived closer to the Military Base and had opted to remain in the small “city centre” of the internment zone’s partially-rebuilt section. Despite everything, Eldian’s and Marleyan’s still lived separately and on adjacent sides of the military base. Liberio had been the largest internment zone before its destruction, but with the significantly reduced population, that size was no longer necessary and no longer achievable. 

Again, Annie’s father had opted to live in a small cabin in a secluded clearing a nearby woods. With the occasional help of the Braun’s and their extended family, the two of them had built a modest home for themselves in less than a year. 

However, it was far enough away from the Military Base that Karina had offered for Annie to stay with them when she had frequent work on the base. At first, Annie had been reluctant, and she never stopped worrying about her father being alone, but the practicality of it won over in the end. She’d burn herself out through the commute alone if she stayed at home throughout the week.

“How was the journey?” Karina asked, glancing between both of them.

“The weather was nice, so it felt like we could actually enjoy the view and the sea,” Reiner responded without missing a beat. 

“No seasickness?” 

“We’re professionals at travelling via sea by now; it was all smooth sailing,”

“That’s good to hear,” she turned off the main street towards her home, “I suppose that means you’ve both worked up quite an appetite? It’s a bit late for lunch, but we can have an early dinner so you two can rest.”

“Yeah, we haven’t eaten since Paradis, so I’d say we’re both starving,” Reiner said.

Karina nodded and sighed, “I swear, after everything you’ve done for them, you think they’d properly feed you for your journey.”

“It’s hard to eat on the sea anyway; it’s not really a big deal,”

“I suppose, but you poor dears,” she shook her head, “well, I’m glad I prepared dessert. I aught to thank that boy Armin someday, or I’d have no idea you liked sweet baked goods, Annie.”

“I’ll be sure to thank him for you the next time we are in Paradis,” Annie responded simply, but she smiled when she met Karina’s eyes. 

“Remind me to have you bring the leftovers home with you for you and your father,” she continued, “I was sure to prepare extras of everything. Will you be staying at home through to the end of the weekend?”

“We have early deliberations over the terms of the treaty with Paradis on Monday; I should probably come back on Sunday,” 

“Then why don’t you leave your uniform here for the weekend? I’ll wash it with Reiner’s and have it ready for you when you return on Sunday,”

“Thank you,”

Karina dismissed the thank you with a wave of her hand, “you have enough to travel with as is, by all means.”

As the woman’s fussing came to a temporary pause, they found themselves in front of the Braun home. Since they’d last seen the area, the street and surrounding city had managed to fix itself up enough to look significantly less decimated. The rebuilding was a slow process, but businesses had finally begun to reopen and spring up around both the internment zone and the Marleyan city. 

Streetcars had been put in for easier commuting within each zone easier, especially since most of the train tracks had been destroyed in the Rumbling. There was a long way to go before they were back to where they’d been, but progress in the less-destroyed cities was progressing with urgency.

Before they stepped inside, Annie met Reiner’s eye long enough to exchange an amused look. Since she’d returned from Paradis and the end of the Rumbling, the way Reiner’s mother had seemingly adopted Annie as one of her own was something even Annie’s father joked about. 

Part of it had started with proximity. Annie and Reiner held a strange place in each other’s lives, but they were almost always working together. Without the looming threat of death and the growing tensions of misplaced blame and miss-handled trauma, the two of them found that they didn’t hate spending time together outside of work hours. 

That was all it took for Reiner’s mom. 

Though, the abandoned orphan infant adopted by a single father who knew nothing about parenting helped just as well.

“Settle in and rest for a bit; I’ll start cooking right away,” Karina said as she took her shoes off and set them into the cubby at the door. 

She set out three pairs of slippers, stepped into hers, and hurried off into the kitchen.

They set their bags down as they slipped out of their military-issue trench coats and stepped up into the slippers. Annie tossed her bag over her shoulder as she waited for Reiner to unlace his boots and follow her upstairs. 

“I thought it’d be less cold on land, but I guess the wind off the sea reaches this far,” Annie said as she started up the stairs.

Reiner nodded, “we aren’t as inland here as we were in Liberio,” he said as he followed, “you can borrow a sweater if you don’t have yours.”

“Thanks,” she responded, pushing open the guest room door and settling her bag down beside the entrance without ceremony. 

She was eager to be out of her uniform and into something less stiff and more comfortable. Changing as quickly as she could, she took her hair down from the bun and pulled the plain white tee-shirt over her head. Since she’d started staying here during longer work weeks, she’d begun to keep a few articles of clothing here for the longer stays -- though most of them were military-issued. 

Her wardrobe was small enough as is, even at home, so she often kept the bare minimum with her at any given time. 

When she stepped back out into the hallway, she was almost immediately met with a large, heavy sweater dropped on her head. She glared up at Reiner, who grinned back and continued down the stairs. 

She pulled her arms through the sleeves but left the sweater unbuttoned. 

\--

Annie settled on the couch after dinner, it was still only early evening, but after the long journey, they’d taken that day, both of them were tired. She had some general update notices to read through and various other paperwork, but she was too exhausted to see the words. 

She’d read them on the commute home; for now, she dozed with her head on Reiner’s bicep. 

“How will you get home tomorrow?” Reiner asked; his paperwork was in his hand, but she hadn’t heard him switch papers in the last hour.

“Train car, probably, at least till the city limits, and then I’ll figure it out from there,” she’d probably have to walk from there, but it shouldn’t be more than an hour.

He nodded, “I didn’t even realize they were up and running yet,”

“They finished them just before we left for Paradis, I think,” she responded, leaning off him to rest against the back of the couch with her head tilted towards the ceiling.

“It’ll make the commute a lot easier,” 

She hummed and opened her eyes, “yeah, it should only be two and a half hours total.”

Just as Annie sighed and stretched her arms over her head, Karina came into the living room with a tray of tea, “if you’re tired, don’t feel like you need to stay up for us, dear,”

“No, I’m just fine,” she’d definitely experienced a worse exhaust in the earliest days in Paradis. 

“If you’re sure,” she said with a warm smile that, before Annie returned from Paradis the first time, was reserved for Reiner alone. 

Before she got the chance to sit down, a knock came on the front door. Without even pausing to hesitate, she turned back around to get the door, always in motion. From where they sat, Gabi’s voice carried through the house as she, excitedly, asked to see Reiner. 

Karina peaked into the living room and glanced between both of them, “Gabi would like to come see you if that’s okay?”

“Oh- sure, yes,” he looked at Annie, “are you okay with that?”

Annie nodded but took a long swig of her tea. Gabi was a lot to handle at the best of times, a little too high energy, but it was worse when Annie was already tired. She’d need all the caffeine she could get into her before the girl stepped into the living room. 

As she set the mug back onto the tray, Karina disappeared behind the wall again to let Gabi in. There was a whispered conversation, and Annie was pretty sure she heard Reiner’s mom ask her to keep things settled. She made a note to remember to thank Karina for that before she settled back against the couch and drew a leg up to her chest. 

Gabi went straight into the living room without a second to hesitate, “I saw the ship dock this afternoon, and I was pretty sure today was the day you guys were coming back,” she said without greeting, “how was the trip? How was Paradis and the others- your friends?”

“It was good, strange to be back after so much time, but the negotiations went well,” Reiner said as she entered, “and they’re fine, doing a lot better too.”

“They weren’t mean to you?”

“Our… it’s complicated, Gabi,” Reiner shrugged, and Annie caught him glance at her from the corner of his eye, “we’re working on it, now, but it’s just… complicated.”

“Because of that boy, Jean was friends with?” 

Annie stiffened, but Reiner just took a slow sip of his tea before responding, “for a lot of reasons, but yes, I think that’s the main reason,” he said simply, surprising Annie in his calm, “but let’s not talk about that, how’ve you been with all the changes?”

That seemed to be all it took for Gabi to be off and running. There were a lot of changes happening to the Marleyan Military, not the least of which was with the Warrior Unit. Without the titans to pass down to them, the need for the children to train as they did had all but vanished. However, with the frontline experience they all had as humans and the systemic belief that Eldian children weren’t children or even really _people_ , they were still considered semi-valuable to the Marleyan Military.

For now, at least. 

But Annie’s mind couldn’t focus on the details of their conversation. Her mind had snagged, like it always did when it was mentioned, on Marco’s last moments. It didn’t matter how much time passed; it didn’t matter how hard she tried to steer her mind in another direction; Marco had always become the focal point of her worst spirals. He was the thing she most frequently saw in her nightmares and the guilt that hung heaviest on her chest. 

She was no stranger to death, she was no stranger to suffering, but Marco was an entirely avoidable victim to their failed invasion of Paradis. In the four years she spent in the darkness of the crystal, she had imagined a thousand ways it could have been avoided. Starting with Reiner and Bertholdt not so carelessly talking about their titans and ending with listening to Marco’s final request and just talking before sentencing a teenager to death.

Instead, she’d watched someone who had been nothing but kind to her get eaten alive by a titan. 

A hand came to rest on her shoulder and squeezed. Reiner didn’t look at her, he didn’t even pause his conversation with Gabi, but the weight of his hand on her shoulder drew her from her mind. It took all of her attention to keep herself from fixating on the worst of it for too long, but Reiner kept steady pressure on her shoulder and from time to time, shifted his thumb over the fabric of her shirt.

For the rest of the evening, Annie listened to the voices of Gabi, Reiner and eventually Karina without listening to their words. The rest of the day coasted by, and as Reiner and Karina stood to see Gabi to the door, Annie slipped upstairs to the guest room without a word.

\--

She couldn’t sleep.  
She never could after being reminded of Marco. His scream was too raw, his sobs still too raw in her mind. Even the feeling of his warm, panicked breath on her face as he begged for life was still too vivid in her mind even without being reminded of one of her greatest sins.

If there were one thing she would be damned for, it’d be the death of Marco.

When she’d entered the room, she’d sat on the edge of the bed without making an effort to lay down. Somehow, by the time the knock came to the door, she was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed frame. 

“It’s me,” Reiner called from the other side of the closed door, “can I come in?”

_Idiot, who else would it be?_ She thought but hummed a yes to him anyway. She didn’t know if he’d listen had she said no, but they were still finding their footing on equal ground. Here, in a world without titans and a plan to invade Paradis, he was not the one giving orders and calling meetings anymore. 

Reiner pushed open the door, stepped in and closed it behind him, but he didn’t step further than the entrance than just beyond the threshold. 

She looked up towards him for a moment but couldn’t hold it. Somehow, in the last four years, everyone had surpassed her in this one area. Even Reiner, whose personality had fractured, had found a way back to himself and was able to speak about Marco without entirely spiralling. With all the time she had to do it, she was embarrassed with how little she’d managed to cope with the hell she’d been dragged through.

Perhaps it was her one-track desire to see her father, or it was a general weakness in her will, but she was the only one of them to stay behind during the earliest parts of the battle against Eren, too. Her mental and emotional fortitude had always been her weakest attribute, but the ten years she spent Paradis had robbed her of any ability to do more than repress and run from the worst of it.

She resented the fact that everyone else had grown while she was locked in endless darkness and hellscape her mind made for herself.

“Are you… okay?” he asked cautiously. 

Annie thought about lying before she just shook her head and rested her chin on her knees. Reiner took her response as permission to enter the room and settle at her side. She was glad she didn’t have to ask.

“There’s nothing we can do to change things,” Reiner started.

She glared up at him for a moment, “is that supposed to help?”

“No,” he admitted, “I mean… for a long time, I convinced myself that we hadn’t done anything wrong. When my duties as a warrior came in direct conflict with my desires as a soldier, I couldn’t pick one way or the other. It was like I was living in a dream; for a long time, I had convinced myself we stumbled upon his death, and I killed the titan who ate him for revenge. Poor Bertholdt, I put too much burden on him, I think. He had to deal with the constant flicker between the two, the me who had diluted himself into believing innocence, and the me who was entirely devoted to our mission as Warriors.”

Annie didn’t look at him as he spoke; her eyes remained focused on a knot in the wood on the floor. She didn’t interrupt him, but the terror of seeing Reiner’s mind snap and the confusion of not recognizing the person she’d spent years working, travelling, and training with was still clear enough in her mind to be easily drawn upon. 

“But it brought me nowhere, running away from the awful things we did, both forced and on our own, will bring us nowhere,” Reiner continued, “because nothing we do will bring Marco back or undo the damage we did the day we broke the walls. It took me a long time, and through the darkest places life can take a person, but eventually, I realized that torturing myself for things that I can’t undo was selfish. Maybe we don’t deserve to live, but we did, we are living, and after the hell, the Warrior program put us through… I think we earned some peace.”

“I’d do it all again,” she started, colour coming to her cheeks when she said it. It wasn't until the words left her mouth that she realized that his opinion on her admission mattered to her, “if it meant coming home again and seeing my father again, I’d walk through that hell again without hesitation.” 

There was a moment of silence, and she eventually added a quiet, “I can’t regret what brought me home.”

He nodded, but she could see him choosing his words carefully, “I don’t think that makes either of us a bad person.”

Finally, she looked up at him again, surprised.

“I can’t regret it either,” he said, “my mother… if I didn’t come home, she’d be alone. I didn’t see how much she needed me as a kid, but since returning… I wonder why she ever let me leave.”

She shifted again, her arms still around her knees, but she rested her shoulder against his side. Few people in the world would understand what they’d done, and though redemption was far past their reach, there was a comfort in the fact that there was at least one person who could stand without judgement at their side. 

They sat like that for a long time, without words to say to articulate their grief and trauma. Until their exhaust swayed them to sleep, and they shifted off the floor and into bed.

\--

The streetcar arrived at the station nearest Reiner’s at 10:00 am. It was a long journey that wouldn’t see her home until 1:30 pm, but she didn’t mind the time to read over some of the documents before she saw her father.

As promised, Karina sent her with leftovers, and both her and Reiner saw her off at the station. She’d be back in a few days, but there was always an acute knowledge that there was no promise of tomorrow. Technically, the curse should, or perhaps would have, killed them within the next year.

Both of them had talked about the implications of the Founding Titan’s death on their continued life. In part, everyone had assumed the shifters would _die_ with Eren, but they lived his loss. The curse was, in part, related to the wishes of the Founding Titan, but there was no way to know if it died with him too until one of them either outlived their expiry or died without other cause.

At the time of Eren’s death, they had just under two years left. From now, it would be something they’d take day by day, but they’d at least have nine months left from the time they had been turned into shifters, to begin with.

If the three of them died, it’d answer for everyone else that their curses remained and that Armin and Falco had a limited time left. 

She tried not to think about it as she departed from the first station, and by the time she arrived at the last stop on the line, she’d been too swamped in paperwork to think about anything at all. 

If there had been any worry left in her mind, it was gone as she approached the modest home in the sparse woods and heard the distinctive sound of her father’s cane tapping on the wood floor from the other side of the front door. 

Every time felt like both the first and last time, and she hadn’t yet found a way to believe this wasn't a dream her mind had forged in the madness of the cocoon. The only reason she had to believe that the new world was real was that not even she could have invented Eren’s genocide, and her mind was too hellbent on torturing herself to give her the peace she’d found on the other side.


	3. Chest Filled With Diamonds and Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Warriors find themselves back in Paradis with the Scouts, all of them irreparably changed.

###### Three Months Later

Jean met them at the harbour in his new Survey Corp uniform, with a carriage ready to take them to the palace. Their arrivals were always done in relative quiet, though the crown officially pardoned them, and the blame for their crimes were wholly placed on the Warrior Program of the Marleyan Military; there was no way to ensure their safety.

There were enough people who would see them dead for their crimes or attempt to leverage their lives over the Marleyan government to seek vengeance for the lives lost to the shifters. 

Thankfully, they weren’t all that well known as people by the general populous. Most people were never told that Marley’s foreign representatives were the same people who destroyed Wall Maria as children. It was only the surviving members of the Survey Corps and Military Corp who were not the people you wanted to make enemies.

“It feels like the two of you were just here,” Jean commented, his arms crossed as though they’d kept him waiting.

“Yeah,” Reiner agreed, “I could go without another trip over the sea for a while,” 

“I can’t believe they still expect you to work after everything,” Jean grumbled as he led them into the back of the carriage and urged the driver onward. He never missed an opportunity to bitch about Marley. 

Reiner chuckled grimly, “the state of things in Marley won’t change overnight; besides, aren’t you still working?”

“Of course, but I chose to keep working; it was my choice to join the Survey Corps from the beginning; I can’t see myself doing anything else,” Jean shrugged.

Through the earliest days after Eren’s death and the beginning of the first visit, Jean and Reiner had stood at arm’s length of each other. They spoke in short and careful sentences and barely managed to smile in the other’s presence. Jean had forgiven them for the unforgivable, had seen their impossible choices laid bare in front of him and had accepted their failures as the mistakes of terrified children turned lost teenagers. 

Jean had grown up from the bitter, vindictive teenager to a surprisingly well-adjusted and uncommonly forgiving adult. 

When the ice between Reiner and Jean had cracked again, after another minor blowup not unlike the one upon their fireside reunion, their relationship had closer resembled the one they’d once had before. The two of them made sense as friends; they’d always had similar humour and gotten along well through training. It was hard not to like Jean’s confidence and his effortless swagger. As a teenager, he’d smiled easily and found time to have fun, and though he’d hardened as an adult, he always carried mischief in his eyes. 

Annie could admit that she’d liked him, to a degree, during training. At the time, she didn’t admit to even herself that she’d like any of her classmates. In hindsight, she could’ve let the titan eat Jean without getting involved to save him. When she’d decided not to join them in the final battle, he’d been among the most understanding alongside Connie. He’d held her back when Hanje tried to tell her that her father was likely already dead, and had helped her to her feet when she had no choice but to accept the news. 

After Eren was dead, Jean had finally answered a question she’d forgotten she’d asked. He’d forgiven her; when they were parting ways at the harbour, he’d sworn to her that he’d forgiven her. 

\--

Queen Historia was as they remembered. Kind, polite, and incredibly busy. They met with her for only a few moments upon entering the palace before Jean took them to where Amin, Connie and Mikasa were waiting. There were some affairs that Historia had delegated to them, and they could get through most of them before she was freed up to come to speak with Annie and Reiner directly. 

When they entered the meeting room, Armin stood up, and Connie gave a cheer from where he sat at his side. Of the Southern Division of the 104th class, this was it. Aside from Historia, who would be joining them, this room hosted every living member of their class. In the five and a half years since they graduated, they’d lost nearly every member of those who’d trained alongside them.

“Welcome back,” Armin greeted, gesturing to two empty chairs across from them, “it’s good to see you.”

“Thank you,” Annie responded, taking a seat without hesitation.

All of them were in their uniforms, but it was never lost on Annie that she and Reiner were no longer in the green and black of their former comrades. Instead, they remained in their white military trench coats and uniforms, with the red armbands still pinned to their sleeves. Despite their ability to shift being long gone, they were always _other_ in the eyes of every nation they’d lived in since birth.

They weren’t dressed for battle anymore; however, they were dressed to represent the Marleyan Military for Diplomacy’s sake. The same went for their Paradis counterparts, though they were much less formal. Jean took his jacket off and dropped it over the back of his chair as he sat down. The window was open, and Connie was down to his white button-up while Armin had opted against most of his uniform in general, but his trench coat remained over the arm of his chair. 

Paradis was warm this time of year, but the breeze through the window was cool and smelt of trees and summer flowers. 

“Did other representatives join you?” Armin asked.

Reiner nodded, “they’ll be disembarking later; they’re representatives of the Marleyan Unit,” he said casually, but there was a clear air of annoyance among their friends.

“Let me guess; they had some _important matters_ to discuss privately?” Jean asked, scowling, “they couldn’t be more transparent.”

He wasn't wrong, but neither of them said anything to confirm nor deny his accusation. They let the fact that they didn’t try to slip from their uniforms be answer enough.

“Well, at least you have time to settle in here,” Connie responded, “we’ll have lunch here when Historia gets here.”

After only a brief pause for everyone to get settled, Armin spoke again, “I hate to start things on such a heavy note, but I do need to ask how you two are feeling..? And Pieck? No signs of the curse yet?”

“Not yet,” Annie responded.

“You’re not weakened?” Armin asked.

Both of them shook their heads.

“Tired?” 

Reiner spoke, “not more than usual.”

Armin jotted the date down on a notebook and scribbled notes on the lines but asked nothing else. They were still months out from the end of their expected deaths, but there was no one closer than the only three living members of their class. 

“Is that a good sign? Do you remember the shifters you inherited from?”

“We were kept relatively separate, but we came of age when the previous shifters still had two or three years left of their term,” Annie said, tapping her fingers against the wood of the table.

“That’s horrible,” Armin said before he caught himself. 

Annie looked at him, silenced, and drew her hands back onto her lap beneath the table. 

“Oh- sorry- uh…” 

There was an awkward silence for only a moment before Reiner spoke, “those of us chosen, Zeke, Pieck, Marcel, and Bertholdt included, were considered incredibly promising. Annie inherited the female titan at 11, a year earlier than we were meant to.”

“In hindsight, it’s less a good thing than I remember it being,” Annie said mildly. At the time, she’d been glad to be chosen earlier. Her father would get the money he needed, and they’d become honorary Marleyan’s a whole year earlier than they were supposed to. 

It would also take her away from her father for ten years.

“So you were always terrifyingly good at combat..?” Connie asked.

“Can you picture her being anything but terrifying?” Jean responded with an eye roll.

Connie looked back up at him, “what about you, Reiner?” 

That made Annie laugh a bit, and she looked up at him, amused.

“Well- I wasn't terrifying,” he started.

“That’s an understatement,” Annie said, earning her a jab to her arm. She just picked up a glass of water and took a sip, the amused smile holding.

It was strange to be talking about any of this with them. There was a sense of holding back, none of them mentioned the fact that the two of them had been turned into pure titans for long enough to eat the previous shifters as _children_ , and Annie caught the way they all stiffened at the mention of Bertholdt. How, for a fraction of a second, Jean’s smile had faltered when his mind had followed the information to the only, horrifying, implications of their conversation.

“Not all of us can be terrifying child prodigies,” he added dismissively. 

She hummed, saying a simple, “that must be it.”

When Annie turned her attention back to the others, Armin’s expression was strange, and he looked away urgently before their eyes met. Jean was tense again, but he always fluctuated between comfort and remembering who he’d found this comfort with. She couldn’t blame him, but she sometimes wondered if she’d live to see the day Jean stopped looking at them and seeing Marco.

“It’s always a bit strange, being back together,” Connie said after the silence had drawn on for too long, “it’s like we’re back on the training grounds before things got… awful again.”

There was another silence. Annie wondered how long it’d take for silences to be comfortable again like it was before they were enemies.

Connie snorted, breaking the silence, “remember trying to guess the weather based on how Bertholdt’s position was in the morning?”

For a moment, Annie thought Reiner would be upset at the mention of their friend, but he laughed instead, “we were right a few times.”

“That was sheer probability alone, I think,” Jean added. 

“I don’t think I ever told him we did that,” Reiner said through a chuckle before he added, “the first memory I have of that time was Sasha breaking the potato and offering the smaller half to the Shadis.” 

That caused Connie to laugh even harder, partially doubling over his glass and shaking his head, “it was so obviously not half.”

While the three of them laughed, Annie caught Armin’s shoulders ease at the change in conversation. He was never comfortable when Bertholdt was brought up, and though she came to understand that he had nothing to do with the decision to kill him, it was strange to think of Armin as the person who ate Bertholdt. It was strange to think about Bertholdt in general. She was locked away when he’d died; one day Armin had left the basement she was kept in the same boy she’d known since she’d joined the 104th, only to return unchanged but with the distinct presence of someone she’d known since she was old enough to join the Warrior Cadets, to begin with. 

As the conversation continued, she glanced back up towards Reiner.

_What would have happened had it have been Reiner who died then instead of Bertholdt?_

The thought left her feeling guilty. She didn’t wish to change the outcome, not that she had any right to think about it. If Bertholdt had been the one to survive, his kind and passive nature would have made the fight against Eren much more difficult.

His Titan was powerful, a god of destruction, but the boy was too easy to drag around. If it had been Reiner who died that day, Bertholdt would have followed him to the grave shortly afterward. Though it felt like a disservice to the memory of someone she considered a friend, she was confident that she was right.

“Or learning the 3DMG,” Jean added, “I was so confident Eren just sucked at it-”

“We should get back on subject,” Mikasa said sharply from the head of the table. 

She hadn’t said a word since they’d entered, and though she’d greeted Annie with a small smile while she sat down, she remained in silence. Until Eren was mentioned, of course, and the grief of her loss had lurched forward to end the light banter they’d slipped comfortably into. 

Annie worried about how long it would take before Mikasa could see the boy she’d grown up with as a separate being to the man they’d faced to end the Rumbling. 

“Historia has been talking about the idea of visiting Marley herself to discuss the terms of the trade agreements and the peace treaty in person,” Armin cut in urgently, looking between Mikasa and the others anxiously. He worried about her; it was clear on his face that his worry for her was old and constant, “she doesn’t trust the Marleyan government to make good on all of her terms if she isn’t there to see them through.”

“Probably smart, in general,” Annie responded, “what are her terms?”

“She’d be better to discuss this with, but I know not the least of which is that the Marleyan Military has to immediately cease the training and usage of children in any unit of their military,” Armin said simply, “that would include, and emphasize, Eldian children.”

Both Annie and Reiner startled, sitting up straighter and their eyes briefly met before they turned back to Armin. Reiner spoke a startled, “really?”

“At what cost to Marley? They won’t just cave for nothing,” Annie asked.

“Aide,” a voice from the door Annie hadn’t noticed open said, “if they want our help rebuilding and replenishing their armies, they won’t train children for war.”

After a moment to let the shock wash over the duo, Historia spoke again.

“It’s been a while; it’s good to see you,” she smiled and made her way to an empty chair, “I wasn't sure they’d send you this time; I’m pretty sure they’re starting to think I’m unreasonable as is. I’m not looking forward to the conversation, but it’s not something I’m willing to fold on.”

Reiner nodded, crossing his arms and leaning back, “thinking about it, they’re probably hoping that sending us might be their attempt to sway you. It’s win-win, for them, either send us to remind you of what we did so that you believe they’re right about us Eldians in Marley…”

“Or our lives are the bargaining chip,” Annie continued, “I was wondering why they didn’t kill us when the dust settled, and the titans were gone.”

“Why would they kill you? You saved them!” Connie responded, clearly aghast. 

“That’s exactly why,” Annie sighed, “we don’t fit their narrative. They’ve been telling Marleyan’s for as long as the Warrior Unit existed that they’re better, stronger, braver and more human than Eldians. We are honorary Marleyan’s in name only that in and of itself is an insult now that we don’t have the titans anymore.” 

Jean grit his teeth, and Annie could see the muscle in his neck tensing like he was trying not to shout as he opened his mouth to speak, “what monsters, all of them,”

“They think we’re something to fear,” Annie responded, “that’s only a bad thing if they act on it.”

“I’d argue they already have,” Connie said bitterly. 

Annie didn’t have an argument for that. The internment zones alone were proof enough, but there was something more obvious than that they always displayed on their arms. Whether those from Paradis understood them or not didn’t matter; it branded them clear as day so that anyone from Marley could take one look at them and know where they stood. In this case, with the red armbands, their identities were even clearer. 

“I have no intentions to let them walk all over me, or anyone else for that matter,” Historia said after a long silence, “we are Eldian, those of us on Paradis Island are Eldian, and they’d do best to remember that they need our help more than we need theirs.”

“When did you get so scary, Historia?” Reiner asked, breaking the tension that had begun to rise since the conversation turned political.

It made her laugh, “does that make me scary?”

“A little,” Annie agreed. 

Historia smiled at that, and Annie could’ve sworn that there was pride in her eyes, and she sat a little straighter. She may have been born royal, but she’d been a Survey Corp like them; she’d been raised anything but. 

She made a good queen. She made a great leader.


	4. Dream of Some Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marley and Paradis negotiate terms of peace, the scouts and the warriors come to understand each other.

###### The Next Days

Annie and Reiner stayed within the Palace whenever they came to Paradis. It was a lot safer that way and required the least amount of work. 

She didn’t know where the others live, with their homes gone and so much of their lives uprooted over the last decade, it was anyone’s guess. At least part-time, they lived in the Palace too, because they could be found around the halls of the Palace every time they visited. 

Surprisingly, there was a lot of down time when the pair of them were in Paradis. More than what they usually had in Marley, but their work depended heavily on their contacts in Paradis to be free. Life and work didn’t stop in Paradis for their arrival, so they found themselves with time to wander the Palace, sit in the library, and walk the city surrounding the Palace with whoever was free to walk with them.

They spent most of their time together because they were less likely to be cornered by the very people they travelled here with when they remained in pairs. This was true in, Paradis especially, where they stood the chance of being recognized by people who knew the victims of their titans. 

Armin joined them on their first full day in Paradis; he’d had more time than the rest of them did, and he was usually the one who was in charge of international policies and relations. With him in charge, he could ensure that she was informed of what she needed to do the most and that the rest was delegated. 

The weather was nice enough that the three of them were reluctant to stay inside, and instead, they’d opted to walk the streets of what would’ve been the innermost wall of Paradis. 

“I’ll never get used to the sight of Paradis without the walls,” Reiner said as they approached a street that had once led directly to a gate between Sina and Rose.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Armin agreed, looking up towards the sky where the walls had once stood, “but good. I mean, it felt vulnerable at first, even with the titans gone. When we first returned, it didn’t really feel real; we grew up with titans at our door our whole lives, but the walls being gone made it sink in. For everyone, I think.”

In the immediate aftermath, Annie had almost convinced herself that the Rumbling and the events that ended Eren Yeager’s life had happened to Marley alone. That there was a version of Eren that lived within the walls of Paradis where things remained unchanged. 

Returning the first time a year after his death had been the final piece of closure she needed to accept his death. 

When Annie knew him, he was less a kid than he was a force of nature. He was unstoppable, unyielding and wholly devoted to saving his home. It was hard to believe that a boy like that would ever die, let alone die halfway through a genocide of his own creation. 

“Do you still use the 3DMG?” Annie asked. 

Armin shook his head, “not really. The technology is being workshopped into something more practical since we are no longer killing 15-foot titans. Though, once a month or so, me, Jean and Connie will go to the forest. In part to keep our muscles trained, but it’s also something we used to enjoy doing -- when we weren’t fighting for our lives, of course- I mean.”

“It was fun when we were in training or using it without the threat of titans,” Reiner agreed. 

“Were you two ever even scared of the titans?” Armin asked, and though his tone was genuine, his face fell with panic, and he threw his hands up in front of him in an urgent apology, “uh- I mean. That sounds bad.”

“It’s fine,” Annie said mildly, dismissing the fretting easily.

Reiner continued, “it wasn't that we weren’t afraid of them, but they weren’t a mystery to us at all. That, and they posed a far lesser threat to us since we could shift. That said, I think we were more afraid of being found out because of titans than the titans themselves. When the titan bit my arm that day, Ymir first transformed, I thought I was done for.”

As he mentioned being found out, he glanced at Annie, but she kept her eyes forward and her expression neutral. Armin had been the one to figure her out, but she didn’t deserve his guilt over it. That, and she knew Reiner bore the guilt for the way her capture went down. It was unfounded guilt, but she was avoiding making it worse as she let the comment breeze past her.

“That makes sense,” Armin said. He looked like he would say something else, but he kept walking without adding anything else. 

They walked quietly for a while longer, letting the tension of treading so close to dangerous topics dissipate in the silence. Eventually, they’d made half a loop of the palace in relative silence.

“Hey, Armin! Glad I found you- oh,” Hitch slowed mid-jog as she approached them. 

Armin had taken her attention as she jogged to catch up to him from behind, but as they’d begun to pause she caught sight of the white uniforms and red armbands of the pair at his side. If she didn’t know who they were from behind, she did when they finally turned to face her. 

“Hey Hitch, can I help you with something?” Armin started, stepping one step ahead of them to close the distance between him and the other woman. 

Hitch was exactly as Annie had last seen her. They didn’t run into each other or had avoided each other entirely during her first return visit to Paradis. Both of them seemed content to let their strange friendship sizzle out and die. 

Now, as they stood feet from each other for the first time since Annie had been freed of the crystal, they both could only lock eyes for a moment.

The moment was brief, where Hitch didn’t answer Armin and looked only at Annie, but it broke, and she turned her attention back to Armin, “you forgot to sign these yesterday,” she said, holding up a clipboard and pen, “and for some reason, it was urgent enough to have me on a wild goose chase to find you.”

“Oh- uh, sorry about that,” he took the papers quickly and began to skim them before scribbling his signature wherever it asked him to.

“You should be; I wasn't expecting to have to chase you all over the city,” Hitch grumbled, “you at least owe me a coffee.”

Armin laughed awkwardly and nodded, “Right, I’ll make sure to.”

“You, on the other hand,” Hitch turned towards Annie, “owe me a pie. We can share it because I can’t finish a whole one, but you’ve stood me up twice now, and I don’t appreciate it.”

Annie was surprised to even be addressed but recovered quickly and shifted her weight to face Hitch fully, “I think the score is two pies.”

“I’ll take two pies,” Hitch shrugged, taking the clipboard back, “I’ll add it to your tab then. How long are the two of you here?”

“A week and a half at least,” Annie said, “longer if things don’t go entirely as planned.”

“Well, we’ll put a pin in it for now, but don’t think I’ll forget,” she said, turning on her heel to leave, “I have to go give this back to the higher-ups and tell them to stop sending me on this kind of busy-body work,”

“It never did suit you,” Annie agreed.

That made Hitch grin, and though there was tension in her shoulders, she nodded, “that’s why I always pushed it off onto you,” she said, “see you three later,”

Annie waved as she headed off, and when she turned back to Armin and Reiner, they were smiling. Reiner grinned and made to punch her shoulder, but she caught his fist with her hand.

“I’m glad for you,” Armin said, smiling.

She felt her cheeks colour a bit at that, and she shook her head, “I’m glad to hear her voice again.”

Armin’s expression was unreadable, but he held a thin smile and nodded. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and turned around to keep walking. 

They all kept walking, and a quiet, comfortable conversation resumed.

\--

They returned to their room long after sunset on their first day. 

The real conversations with the Marleyan representatives and Historia wouldn’t start until the following day and weren’t likely to end for several meetings over the following two weeks. This first day had been spent catching up with everyone and privately getting the chance to inform the Paradis Eldian’s on what to expect with the Marleyan representatives. 

Historia considered that time incredibly vital to all of her negotiations with Marley in general. There was very little that could slip by them when two of their three remaining Warriors had no problem taking the journey to ensure that the Eldian’s of Marley were adequately represented. At first, Annie hadn’t had a choice to deal in relations with Paradis, but if she had no choice but to spend the rest of her life a member of the Marleyan Military, then this was the best she could ask for.

Reiner closed the door behind them as he entered. An oil lamp was already burning low in the window, so Annie stood on the chair to light the one on the shelves beside the beds. 

“What do you think of Historia’s demands?” Reiner asked as he sat down on his bed and took his shoes off.

She took her time setting the lamp and settling down before she answered, “if it’s successful, it’s a good thing. Though I don’t put it past Marley to find another way to do as they please,” she said, “it doesn’t concern me anymore.”

“Doesn’t it?” He asked, disbelief transparent in his voice, “Annie, this is our business; it’s our past just as much as it’s still Gabi and Falco’s future.”

“I don’t think about it,” she retorted.

“You don’t think about what life would have been if we weren’t forced to become weapons as children?”

Annie looked back at him, her expression between annoyed and defensive, “I don’t.”

“Not even after seeing how Paradis gave the people who enlist a _choice?_ ” Reiner tried.

Annie grit her teeth and bit out a sharp, “what does it matter, Reiner?”

“It matters because we didn’t ask for this; no one does,” Reiner shot back, “Eren had even agreed on that; _Eren_ of all people had tried to tell me that children couldn’t have made the choice we did.”

She would’ve turned to leave had she had anywhere to go. _Damn Reiner for cornering her._

“Did you want to leave your father that day? Didn’t you want to go home the whole time?” 

“You’re an asshole, Reiner,” 

“Annie-” his eyes had shifted wider, and he looked guilty. Before he sighed and put his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair, “we were _children._ ”

“You’re making me something I’m not,” Annie responded, “I don’t expect Marley to change because I was never loyal to Marley. I have no faith in Marley. And I’m selfish because I didn’t care about anyone else’s family, I didn’t care about Paradis, I just wanted to go home to my father.”

“Then why did you come back for us?”

“I thought he was-”

He stood and crossed the room to her, crouching in front of the bed she sat on. He placed a hand on her arm, but she just held his gaze unmoving, “I’m sorry, Annie.”

She didn’t say anything, and for a long time, neither did he. She was content to take part in the glaring match. 

“We never learned to communicate after all those years,” he said solemnly. 

Annie let out a small, _heh_ , but only the corner of her mouth quirked up, “no, we really didn’t.”

He looked up at her then, surprised. It was the closest she’s come to admitting he was right, about them being children. Everyone was right about that, but Annie had not once in her life felt like a child. She was a girl raised to be steel and stone, by abandonment, by the broken system, and by a Military that turned children into weapons.

Reiner sat back onto the floor and turned to lean his back against her bed next to her legs. He laughed but was shaking his head, “did you ever think about it before coming to Paradis? How life should have been different.”

She took a moment to pick her words carefully, “I thought about a lot of things when I was in the crystal,” she started, “Hitch and Armin often stood in the dungeon and asked me if I’d have done anything different… it’s a waste of time to try to change the past. I said it before; even if it makes me a bad person, I would do it all again if it meant seeing my father again.”

“But we shouldn’t have been in that position at all,” he challenged.

“I always knew that,” she responded.

They fell into silence again until she stood and settled beside him. They’d been closer since they’d returned home, they had been forced into a sense of familiarity when they moved to Paradis, but comfort didn’t come till later. It wasn't something they could force, but it was something they both needed in the wake of their shared trauma.

She rested her head against his arm without a word, and neither of them moved otherwise. When they were too broken to communicate, they could at least sit in silence like this together. 

“We can learn,” Reiner said, “can’t we?”

Annie nodded but didn’t meet his eyes. If there was one thing she was terrible at, it was this. It was talking about her emotions openly, and most of all, it was trusting someone enough to get to that point at all.

If someone were to have told her before that the person she’d end up trusting was Reiner, of all people, she would have believed they were lying to her. Of all people, she had to choose _Reiner Braun_.

There were worse people, she supposed.

\---

“The use of child soldiers is something I am absolutely not willing to negotiate on,” Historia said, sitting at the head of the conference table with her hands on the polished wood surface. 

Reiner and Annie, in part, had assumed they’d have no part in this meeting. They often weren’t included in the Marleyan Militaries communications with Paradis. This time Historia had insisted on it.

Officer Koslow shot Annie and Reiner a look they ignored, keeping their posture perfect and their expressions unbothered. Annie had known that they’d assume it was the two of them influencing Historia, but they’d seen Gabi and Falco; they were the same age as the first Warriors they’d met. 

“You seem to misunderstand, Queen Historia, we don’t use children-” he tried to say.

“Annie, Reiner,” Levi, who only made appearances when the Marleyan Military was involved, started, “how old were you when you were chosen to be one of the Titans? And how old were you when you were sent to Paradis?”

“Bertholdt and I were eleven when we were chosen, twelve when we left. Annie would’ve been 10 and 11,”

There was an uncomfortable shift on the Paradis side of the table. They remembered that day, but they’d remembered it as seeing two giant titans breaking into their home and sending shockwaves of fear through the whole of Paradis. 

Annie and Reiner remembered it differently, but what they saw was filtered through propaganda and ignorance. 

Levi turned back to the members of the Marleyan Military. Even without the scars down the one side of his face, he was intimidating, but the look he gave them made it clear why he was here at all. Queen Historia could put her foot down when it was required of her, but Levi was far scarier. 

“They’re hardly children, even then,” Koslow responded, his neck reddening and his face colouring with anger, “they were given the utmost honour for an Eldian and were made completely aware of their duty to Marley.”

“Historia, do you mind?” Armin started, and Historia nodded, “when you lost the jaw titan before making it to the wall, what was the immediate aftermath?”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Annie was the one to break the silence, and spoken like a report, she responded, “I suggested we turn around and go home, Reiner disagreed, and after overpowering me, he decided we would continue onward with him in the lead; in Marcel’s place.”

“Why did you want to go home?” Armin asked.

“I wanted to return to my father; I thought that if we were to keep going, we would die in Paradis, and I’d never see him again,”

Armin shifted his attention to Reiner, “why didn’t you want to go home?”

“I thought we’d be killed and replaced with new warriors for our failure,” he responded, “I needed to prove myself to avoid disgracing my family.”

They answered the questions without looking at the Marleyan Military personnel. 

This was about to get them in a lot of trouble.

Historia finally spoke again, and there was a familiar kindness to her tone that she hadn’t used with the officers at their side, “when you joined the military, did you fully know what was going to be asked of you? Was there any chance to back out when you finally understood the magnitude of it?”

“Leonhardt, Braun, that’s enough,” Koslow ordered, “don’t say another word.”

“Why? Because you knew from the start that children couldn’t comprehend genocide?” Levi challenged, setting his teacup down on the saucer, “perfect to make weapons out of people who can’t question their orders.”

“Annie, Reiner?” Historia prompted, “would you say you understood?”

“No,” Annie responded, simply and without hesitation.

Reiner shook his head as well, “no.”

A shadow fell over both of them. Reiner’s mind had splintered when he had understood, and Annie had not been able to sleep since. They’d done too much to take back, and the responsibility still lay in their hands, but the only escape would have been to take their own lives. An escape that was off the table, as they both had people waiting for them back home.

“I’d be more than happy to discuss this with your higher-ups directly, but if we cannot come to an agreement on this term, then Paradis will pull support from Marley,” Historia said after the silence hung between them too long, “we can discuss this further tomorrow. If we decided that I should speak to your higher-ups, I’ll visit Marley and speak with them directly myself. That is all.”

Humiliated, Koslow and the other officers stood and grabbed their coats, “Leonhardt, Braun,” Koslow ordered them to follow as they left.

Both of them stood, and though there was a visible moment where Armin looked like he would protest, the pair silenced the resistance. There were some battles not worth fighting. 

They were on their way to the palace’s guest quarters but only made it around the first corner into the long hall before Koslow wheeled on them.

“How dare you humiliate your superior officers and disgrace Marley?” He started, stopping them in the middle of the deserted guest hall. 

“It seems like you did that all by yourself,” Annie said, annoyed.

Reiner was visibly startled by her brazen disrespect to their Marleyan higher-ups. Koslow went entirely red and raised his hand to strike Annie. 

All at once, Reiner saw red, but Annie needed no help. She raised her arm in her own defence, grabbed his wrist, and stopped him mid-swing. He was larger than her and military-trained, so he was physically stronger, but she knew how to use it against him. When she grabbed his wrist, she tugged just enough for him to lose his balance momentarily. 

There were some battles not worth fighting, and Annie knew this was one of them. It would save her future grief if she let him believe he’d won this battle, but her pride had risen to her defence: her pride and a bit of instinct. 

No one raised a hand to a Leonhardt like that, especially not a Marleyan like Koslow. 

“Even without the Female Titan, I would win this fight,” she challenged as she released his arm, “I wouldn’t suggest testing your luck.”

He drew back like she’d stung him, and his entire demeanour was _venomous_ , “don’t think the Military has any qualms about disposing of you, Leonhardt.”

“You don’t have that authority,” Reiner challenged calmly, “and the Warriors Unit is still more valuable than an Officer, even in a world without Titans.”

Koslow stood taller, still inches shorter than Reiner, but he jabbed a finger an inch from Annie’s face, “it would serve you to learn when you are among your betters.”

She said nothing, stood tall, with her hand on her hip and her expression unbothered. 

“Neither of you will be permitted to step foot in another negotiation about the terms of the treaty, and I will be speaking directly with your higher-ups. Until then, consider yourselves suspended,” and with that, he turned away and stormed down the hall.

\--

Reiner kicked his bed frame in frustration, cursing once before he kicked the bed frame again, “unbelievable,” he raged, “you’d think after saving him and the rest of Marley they’d be inclined to treat us like people.”

“To do that would be to admit wrongdoing,” Annie responded, sitting down on her bed and leaning against her pillow. 

“After all of that, they still refuse to take any responsibility,” he grumbled. 

Annie just nodded, but before she could lay back onto the bed, someone knocked. She sat up, but Reiner answered the door. 

Jean and Connie stood at their door; both of them had a startling rage to their expressions. Annie straightened in her bed, shifting to put her feet back on the floor.

At their expressions, Reiner startled and asked an urgent, “Is everything okay?”

“They suspended you?” Jean said, the trademark anger in the edges of his voice.

“We followed you guys, stood just around the corner,” Connie said, mildly, “Armin and Historia were worried about how angry Officer Koslow was. Sorry for being invasive.”

“He won’t do anything here; he knows he has no real authority,” Annie said, leaning back on her arm, “he’s throwing a tantrum.”

“You don’t seem bothered? He threatened to _kill_ you,” Jean said.

Before either of them responded, Reiner gestured for the duo to come in and closed the door behind them. Some conversations were better off kept as private as they could manage; they were already on thin ice as is.

“We’re a liability,” Reiner spoke, sitting down on his bed, “we don’t know what their plans are once our ‘term’ ends. They were expecting us to die in the next few months, and should we live the curse, they’d have to figure out what to do with us.”

Connie’s jaw had dropped as they kept speaking before giving a startled, “and you think they might _kill_ you?”

Annie simply shrugged, pushing her bangs from her face, “we don’t know.”

“Why don’t you just move to Paradis?” Connie asked, urgently, “I’m sure Historia would help make it work.”

The look Annie and Reiner shot each other silenced him, and the pair of them took a moment to form words. There was a long list of reasons to not move to Paradis, not the least of which was being known as the weapons Marley used to commit genocide. They’d done too much bad in Paradis, and with their families in Marley, it’d have to be a last resort. 

There was a time that both Marley and Paradis were a death sentence; it was hard to imagine it as different now.

Annie’s eyes shifted to the desk, a shadow crossed over her face, and she said nothing. It was Reiner who let out an uncomfortable hum before saying, “we have family in Marley and friends. It’s more complicated than that…”

“Ah, of course, sorry,” Connie responded, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

Jean looked between Annie and Reiner, leaning against the closed door with his arms crossed, “keep it in mind, I don’t trust those assholes not to try something.”

“Not that you guys couldn’t take them all on anyway,” Connie added, grinning, “Annie could probably take on all of those generals and then some on her own.”

She gave a half-smile, her expression amused, but said nothing. 

“I’m not worried imminently,” Reiner said, laughing at the comment, “she put the fear of Annie Leonhardt into him, that’ll keep him off us for a while.”

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Reiner?” Jean teased, “you talk a big game, but I’ve seen her throw you over her shoulder in training.”


	5. Who is in Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scouts find themselves back in Marley.

###### Two Weeks Later

Queen Historia took it upon herself to travel to Marley with Levi, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, and Connie to directly discuss the treaty’s terms with everyone involved. A few other hand-picked guards and military officials joined them, and they took a ship that followed the Marleyan ship out of the harbour.

Much to the Marleyan officials’ reluctance, Annie and Reiner were requested to board with Paradis instead of returning with Marley.

It was the only indication Historia gave to having been informed of the threat made against them. Though Annie believed there was nothing to worry about, the Marleyan Military was already low on trained soldiers. Even if they wanted to launch an assassination attempt on the Warriors, they didn’t have the means to do it.

They returned early afternoon and stayed on the Military Base their first night back. Thankfully, it was something they’d already planned on doing, so the following day when they led Jean, Connie and Armin to the edges of the base facing the Internment Zone, Karina was waiting.

“Welcome home,” she greeted as they approached, hugging them both fiercely before looking over their shoulder and seeing the trio. She gave a small surprised gasp, and Annie felt the woman’s hug grow a little tighter before she finally released them.

“I don’t know if you remember them,” Reiner started softly.

“The people you met in Paradis, right?” she said, smiling, but there was caution in her. She addressed the trio directly then, “you fought with them, despite what Marley made them do to you, and after all of those years, you brought Annie back to us. It’s good to see you’re doing well,”

“It’s nice to see you again, too,” Armin said politely, “under better circumstances.”

Karina smiled, “the day you brought our children home to us, no matter how it started, was the best day you could’ve given any of us. We’re all happy to welcome you back to Marley all this time later,”

There was a moment of comfortable silence in a strange reunion among people who should be enemies. 

“Well,” she started after the moment passed, “I prepared food; you all must be so hungry. Oh- and Annie, your father, decided to come, so he’s at our home waiting.”

Annie was momentarily surprised but nodded and gave a simple, “okay.”

While they walked back to Karina’s, the trio from Paradis pointed out the things that had changed and been fixed since they last saw it. Reiner explained things they didn’t have in Paradis, and they talked for only a moment about the meanings of the armbands the residents of the Internment Zones all wore.

Those from Paradis weren’t expected to distinguish themselves from Marleyan unless they were on Military ground. Only then were they required to wear their formal uniforms of the Paradis Military. 

They silenced at the explanation, and Annie couldn’t blame them for it.

When they entered the house, they were met by the smell of freshly baked sweet-buns and fresh linens. Annie’s father was sitting in the living room on one of the chairs with his bad leg up on a footrest, but when he saw them enter, he took his cane and pushed to his feet.

“Welcome home,” he said simply as he approached.

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Leonhardt,” Armin said stiffly.

He nodded towards them, but his attention was on his daughter first, “I trust the journey went well? Officer Koslow didn’t give you any trouble?”

“It was the same as always,” she responded simply, but she was smiling. 

Mr. Leonhardt wasn't a man that smiled frequently, but he seemed to know what his daughter was saying without _speaking_ , and he smiled back at her. There was obvious pride in his eyes, and despite all the time that passed, the two of them were not yet willing to take for granted the time they had together as a family. They were a strange, stitched together family of a single father raising a child that was not his own by blood, but the Paradis members of the 104th class were surprised to see Annie so clearly love another person. Reiner was always surprised to see Annie’s father smile at all.

In the earliest hours after being reunited, Karina had hugged Annie for the first time in the emotions of the moment and told her that her father, despite everything, never gave up on her. No matter what they were told, he believed she was alive no matter how many years had passed. 

He’d kept his promise; when the world was against her, he was on her side. 

“Please take a seat everyone, you must be tired,” Karina suggested, gesturing to the living room as she turned to the kitchen, “I’ll get us all something to eat and prepare some tea.”

“Thank you, that’s incredibly kind of you,” Armin said, ever polite and seemingly a little on edge.

Karina smiled at him but stepped out of sight as the rest of them returned to the living room. They sat down quietly, but Reiner broke the quiet first.

“What brings you all the way out here, Mr. Leonhardt?” Reiner asked as he sat down next to Annie on the couch. 

Her father sat slowly, taking care not to put too much strain on his knee as he used his cane for support, “I had a bad feeling about Officer Koslow being sent to Paradis with the both of you,” he said simply, “and I realized I owed some respect to the people who brought Annie back to Marley.”

“Really, I think we owe Annie, sir,” Armin said genuinely, “if she hadn’t come back for us when she did, none of us would have made it this far.”

Annie just took the glass of water Karina had given each of them before returning to the kitchen and held it to her lips, “I returned because Falco’s titan could fly,”

“Armin’s right, though! For having been out of practice for four years, it’s like she’s superhuman!” Connie cut in. 

Mr. Leonhardt appeared entirely unsurprised, and as if it were common sense, he said, “she’s a Leonhardt,”

The moment he said it, Annie paused mid-action as she’d begun to tip the water back into her mouth. She only moved enough to lower the glass and look at her father from across the room. Neither of them said a word, and he’d said it so easily, but it took Annie a moment to let the statement settle before she could take a sip of her water. 

She was a Leonhardt, at least in the ways that mattered. Her father had no children before she came into his life and had made no attempt to have any outside of her. As an orphan, Annie hadn’t belonged anywhere since birth, but in only three words, she’d found herself home. It was never lost on her how alone she’d been before returning to her father, and even as Liberio fell, she’d cared nothing of the place she was raised.

Her home wasn't a place. It wasn't Marley, where she was treated as other for a bloodline she couldn’t control. It wasn't Paradis, the place she’d found herself a prisoner. It was wherever her father was because even with the world against them, they’d always stand at each other's side.

If she had to thank Marley for anything, it would be bringing them together. 

\--

Annie’s father had joined Karina in the kitchen after only 40 minutes of conversation. He’d said he was giving them room to converse openly, but Annie knew he was just as antisocial as she was, if not more, and avoided crowds when he could. 

They spoke about festivals and nothing for a while until Armin checked the time and realized he needed to speak with some officials about immigration and travel agreements between Paradis and Marley. Jean chose to join him because he ‘couldn’t stand not to be doing anything,’ but Connie had decided to stay, as he’d been in mid-conversation with Reiner.

It was less than an hour later that an excited knock sounded against the wooden front door. 

Gabi, like every time she visited, was all energy. She stepped into the house, caught one glance of Annie on the couch, and before greeting anyone, said, “yes! Annie’s here, Aunt Karina must have made the good sweets by now-” immediately before catching sight of Connie. 

He sat just outside the front door’s view, across from Annie and Reiner on a single chair opposite the couch. To see him, Gabi had to step inside fully and be on her way to either the kitchen or the living room.

“Oh- hi, I didn’t see you,” she said stiffly, “I’ll come back later-”

A shadow had crossed Connie’s expression, but he looked stricken, and there was conflict in his eyes before he sighed his surrender. He just shook his head and said, “no, don’t worry about it.”

Reiner let out a small breath and looked at Gabi, gesturing for her to take a seat. She did, but she did it carefully and avoided looking at Connie.

“When did you guys get in?” Gabi asked, “I went to see Pieck today; she said she didn’t know when you were returning.”

“We weren’t 100% sure ourselves when we left; we got in this afternoon,” Reiner said, “how’s Pieck doing?”

“She’s like she always is,” Gabi said in ways of an answer, “she came to watch training today.”

“I didn’t know you had training today,” 

Before Gabi answered, Karina brought a small plate of pastries for Gabi and sweet raisin bread for Annie. Gabi had made it through half of the pastries before responding to Reiner, “with the training grounds rebuilt, and the Marleyan Military so crippled, they wanted to ramp up training again. They decided a couple weeks ago,”

“I see, that makes sense,” Reiner responded, passing a napkin over to her.

She took it and turned her attention to Annie, “we were learning hand-to-hand and bayonets today,” she said, puffing up her chest, “soon, I’ll be able to take even you on, Annie.”

“I doubt that,” 

“You just wait and see; just because you have a head start doesn’t mean I can’t catch up,” Gabi challenged.

Annie gave an amused grin at that, “I started training much younger,” she started, “I can teach you if you want. I’m not a good teacher, but it won’t be too hard for you to learn.”

Reiner startled at the offer, but Gabi lit up, “really? That’d be great! With your help, there’s no way I can’t be the best at even this.”

“You’re really going to teach her?” Reiner asked.

Annie just shrugged, “she’s not built like you; she’s like Eren, hand-to-hand is different if you’re smaller.”

The comment about his build earned her a half-hearted bump to the shoulder, but he turned his attention back to Gabi, “why are you learning hand-to-hand and bayonets at all?” he asked, “are they really expecting you to need to know close range combat?”

“I don’t know, I guess they just want us to learn everything, and since I’m already a pretty good shot, I-” she cut herself off, and the colour drained from her as she turned to Connie, “sorry- uh. I wasn't thinking-”

But when all three of them turned to him, he wasn't looking at them. Connie’s head was downcast, shadows blocked their view of his expression, but his knuckles were white with the tension in his clenched fist. 

“Connie?” Reiner prompted carefully. 

“Do you not see how messed up this is?” Connie said, his voice tense and raw, “man- it really sucks here.”

He brought his arm up to wipe his eyes with his sleeve before standing. Without a word, without even raising his face, he crossed the distance to where Gabi sat. 

“I- I’m really sorry- I wasn't thinking it just-” she frantically stammered as she pushed herself back against the chair. 

Both Reiner and Annie stood, preparing for him to make a move against Gabi, but it never came. Instead, in a single fluid motion, he crouched in front of her chair, put both hands on her shoulders, and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.

“Sasha’s death isn’t your fault,” he said, “I’m sorry I ever blamed you at all, I was grieving, and I didn’t want to understand. You’re a kid; you shouldn’t be a good shot; you should be going to festivals and eating sweets all day.”

Gabi sat unmoving in his arms. 

In the time since Sasha died, half of Connie had remained darker without her. He’d lost his best friend; he’d lost his sparring partner; he’d lost the person he’d tell anything to. Still, he found himself wanting to tell Sasha about his day, and when something happened, he always looked to find her. 

That pain had never gone away, and he doubted it ever would. Losing Sasha had meant losing part of himself, like half of his soul had been buried with her. 

But the blame wasn't on a twelve-year-old. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he needed to blame her for holding the gun, he couldn’t look at her and feel anything but guilt. Marley was a lot of unforgivable things, but the use of child soldiers would never be lost on him. 

Eventually, after crying tears he’d needed to shed since he’d lost his best friend, he let Gabi go. She awkwardly patted his arm but smiled at him with unshed tears in her eyes. 

Before anyone could say anything, he turned on Annie and Reiner, “you too.”

“Thank you, Connie-” Reiner started, awkward as he always was when someone brought up their crimes.

Again, Connie didn’t let them say another word as he moved to hug the two of them. Annie attempted, briefly, to ward him off, but Connie stubbornly persisted until he was half-jokingly hugging them both where they sat on the couch.

“None of this should be normal to you,” he started, “but that does explain why you were top-five graduating in our training division. Which was an unfair advantage and technically means I should have graduated 5th.”

That made both Reiner and Annie laugh as he released them.

“I’m serious!” he shouted but was laughing too.

For the first time, things felt unburdened by guilt and blame, like they had been back in the 104th class.


	6. Hold on Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marleyan Military is not pleased with the Queen's visit.
> 
> (TW: Blood, and cannon plausible violence)

###### Three Weeks Later

They were un-suspended in the days following Historia’s visit.

Though the threat was not put in writing, she insinuated that it would be a breach of trust to not have Annie and Reiner present at meetings and in their newly forming relations. For the time, it seemed like the Marleyan Military was cornered and had surrendered their fury with the “Eldian scum” who’d dared speak against a Marleyan Officer.

All the same, they weren’t asked to return to the Military Base until they could decide how to handle the terms related to the Warrior Unit properly. Aside from progress meetings and a final confirmation meeting that they were required to be present at, they were considered “on holiday.” 

When the members of the Paradis Military left, Annie and her father returned home together to spend the extended time they had together in their quiet cottage.

They sat together in complete silence over the dinner table. Both of them had limited social batteries, and after spending the handful of days at Reiner’s with Survey Corps coming and going every hour, they were both drained. 

Eventually, the quiet had grown loud, and her father broke the silence into a conversation, “the train car was surprisingly busy today,” he said passively.

“There was a commotion on the edge of town; there might be an event going on,” Annie suggested, “though, it’s been busier in general in the Internment Zone lately.”

“After the events of the Rumbling, Eldian’s have been a lot less content to be treated however the Marleyan’s like,” her father said, “it’s been long enough by now that the fear has been turned into action, it would appear.”

“I spend so much time on the Military Base; I must not have noticed,” she responded.

“The people who live closer to the base have continued to wear their armbands and have been much quieter,” he added, “I imagine as soon as the Terms of the treaty are agreed upon and made public, Queen Historia’s position will only further the movement against the Marleyan’s.”

Annie hummed passively at that and looked out the window as she leaned back in her chair. A lot was changing, but she was in no position to be on either side. She stood with the Warrior Unit, the strange middle ground between the Eldian side and the Marleyan side. Somewhere else, and in another time, this status would’ve been a shield. Now it felt like a target, and she could tell her father was keeping himself out of this business. 

They both succeeded at their single-minded goal, they reunited. Everything else was secondary.

Neither of them was quite used to spending time with each other without endless gruelling drills and training. They were getting used to it, still, and working on their ability to have conversations like this. However, that was the beauty of being family because they both found more comfort in the silence than they did in useless conversations. 

As the sun began to set, the two of them started getting ready to turn in for the night. The cottage was small, an entirely open room with only the bathroom being a secondary room off the main space. The space was made for only two people who shared a table that only hosted two chairs and a single bed that they’d turned into a “trundle” style to conserve the rest of the open areas.

They got ready in quiet, the kettle still warm on the stove and the curtains drawn shut over every window with the door locked. She saw her father set his cane against the wall at the foot of the bed before he checked the small drawer of the bedside table.

Each space in the Leonhardt home hid something. Sometimes it was as simple as letters sent between father and daughter when she was away from home; other times, it was weapons that were stashed in floorboards or a space cut into the mattresses. She didn’t know what her father’s life was before she came into it, but they were both raised into adults who’d learned not to trust even a space they’d consider their own. 

Through the quiet of their routine preparing to lay down for the night, a louder silence had begun to sweep the forest. One that didn’t go unnoticed by both of them, but it was only after the second time her father glanced out the curtains that she said anything.

“Has it gotten quieter-?” 

The sounds of cans rattling against cans crashed through the silent woods; it carried through the darkened trees and startled a flock of sleeping birds from their perches. 

Within an instant, Mr. Leonhardt’s cane was back in his hand, and he’d knocked free a loose board in the wall to release a rifle hidden in the small space behind it. Without needing to say a word, Annie had drawn twin daggers from within the lower mattress and focused her instincts on every noise outside their cottage. 

Both of them were smart enough not to corner themselves within their home and slipped into the front yard where they’d set up a mirror of the old training yard they’d had in Liberio. Though this one also hosted a bench made of scrap wood, they’d drink tea and coffee in the mornings. 

“The sound came from the east,” Annie said sharply. 

“We can’t assume they’re coming from only one side,” her father said, raising the rifle's scope to his eye, “force them off or kill them; this lot won't be the last if we stay.

She drew into a defensive position, arms raised with daggers firmly in her fists and nodded, “we’ll push them off and go find Reiner and Pieck, then?”

“We can’t assume conspiracy,” he responded grimly, “but I trust you know the journey well.”

Annie glanced at him from the corner of her eye, and they met with matching looks. The Leonhardt’s were not to be easily messed with. 

The first of their attackers had come from the east, drawn from the shadows and armed to the teeth. They weren’t wearing Military Uniforms, however, and Annie recognized not a single one of them. Mercenaries? 

That almost felt like an insult. If she had time to be insulted, that is.

Her father shot into the woods, fired with precise and terrifying accuracy as he took out the two men that attempted to follow unseen behind the first. Annie took out the first, darting forward when the gunshot left way to reload, and without more than a moment’s fight, she dispatched him with ease. 

“Good job, Annie,” he praised. 

Annie half smiled back at him and slipped back to his side. 

“Gather the essentials, quickly,” he ordered as he glared through the scope.

“There are more out there-”

“I can handle them,” he assured her, “you can move much faster than me, but move as quickly as you can.”

She hesitated, for a moment, before darting into the house. As she gathered her things and his, three more shots were fired into the woods. She’d been counting the bullets he’d have access to, and he was already running short. Urgently, she quickened her packing and swung the bags over her shoulder and darted back outside. 

There was a grunt, and she didn’t waste a moment to even guess who it had come from -- her father or an attacker. She sprinted back outside in time to watch her father dispatch another attacker with a swift blow to the head with the blunt end of his rifle. 

“Father-” she called, drawing his attention.

He wasn't fast enough to escape this as long as they were being followed, not with the bad leg. There was no way to know if they were going to run into more of them as they attempted to escape the woods, but they had no choice but to get to civilization before they found themselves bleeding out on the forest floor. 

They were going to have to fight through this forest one way or the other, but they stood their best chance at each other’s side. Annie carried the bags so that her father’s focus could be on not worsening his leg as they began their urgent trek through the woods. 

It was only the secondary clattering of another string-triggered alarm that faltered their rush. They were going to be closed in on. 

“We don’t stand a chance so long as we can’t see them,” Annie said.

“Trust your instincts, Annie, I taught you not to need your eyes alone,” he responded firmly, “only respond when attacked; we are on the back foot.”

Annie nodded, but her nerves were high. She’d never really needed the Female Titan to fight, she was plenty strong without it, but she couldn’t carry her father to safety like this. Thus far, he’d been underestimated, but she didn’t know how long their luck would last. 

A shot fired through the woods, and Annie’s arm was hit by a hot bite of a metal bullet. The shock of it hit, flooding her body in numbing adrenaline. Her mind narrows into focus on her task; if her father said anything, she didn’t hear it. The shot had done the one thing their pursuers wanted most not to do; tell her exactly where they were. 

She whirled around, ducked low, and darted for the source of the bullet. When she found the man, she took his legs out from under him and drove her knife into his neck. Just as he choked out a bloody wet cough and died beneath her blade, another man raised a rifle to her and took aim. Annie rolled out of the way as the bullet struck the dust at her side. 

A counter shot fired, striking the man on the shoulder and downing him in a single bullet. Her father turned and fired another shot behind him. 

“How many have they sent?” Annie asked, more annoyed than afraid.

“More than necessary,” he responded dimly. 

Both of them, it would seem, were more annoyed than afraid.

“We have to keep going,” she said as he offered her a hand to stand.

They weren’t far from the train car station now, so the only way out of this was to keep pushing forward.

It wasn't until she was sitting in the train car that she realized she was still barefoot. 

\--

Reiner answered the door, and though at first, he seemed confused, his expression shifted to concern. 

The pair of them were dirty, with only the bare necessities, bleeding and one of them was barefoot. Annie’s father had tied a torn piece of fabric over her wounded arm, but there was little they could do until they had bandages. He ushered them in urgently and looked behind them before closing the door. 

“We need to leave for Paradis,” Annie said, exhaust heavy on her voice, “tonight.”

“What happened?” he asked, “are you hurt, are you okay?”

“Reiner, who’s at the-?” Karina asked before stepping around the corner, “Annie, Mr. Leonhardt, isn’t it quite late? I wasn't aware the train cars were running this- oh dear.”

“I’m afraid we are out of time,” Mr. Leonhardt said. “We should send for the Finger’s,”

“You were attacked?” Reiner asked as Annie’s father sat heavily in the chair by the front door. His leg had barely made it through the conflict. 

He rubbed at the bad knee and set his cane against the wall. Annie nodded, “They were smart to start with us, the news would take a while to get to you, and it would give them time to plan another attack,” she responded. 

“It happened too quickly for you to grab shoes, dear?” Karina asked, “and your arm! Please take a seat, let me tend to that,”

Annie met Reiner’s eye as she said, “there’s no time,” she said. The journey over had given her heart the time to settle into a regular rhythm, and with it, the adrenaline settled, giving way to the pain that had consumed her whole arm. 

“You go find Pieck and her father; we’ll meet you at the harbour with Gabi and Falco in an hour,” Reiner suggested.

“On her own?” Karina asked worry etched into every feature. 

“She’ll be fine,” he said without a moment to hesitate, “your uniform should be on the guest bed, and your boots, at least change.”

Annie knew there was no time for even that, but she didn’t resist. Her feet were raw and bleeding, so she carefully slipped them into her socks before stuffing them into her boots before throwing on her uniform.

As she took the stairs two at a time down, she heard Karina asking, “isn’t the harbour controlled by the military?”

“The harbour, yes,” Reiner started, “but not all the ships.”


	7. Unchain the Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Warrior find themselves left without options.

###### An Hour Later

Of the several ships docked in the military harbour, there was only one they could have hope of refuge in. General Magath had friends among the Marleyan Military, some of which had been lucky enough to survive the Rumbling. It wasn't entirely unknown, either, that he had never believed that the Warrior Unit was in some way lesser than the other members of the military.

He’d played his part as a General, but he was never nearly as cruel to them, and his sacrifice was known amongst those who’d held respect for him.

One of those people happened to be in command of a ship with all the means to make it to Paradis on the short notice that Reiner had given him. Why Reiner was so sure of this man's ability to get them off the continent was beyond her, but now wasn't the time to doubt their only means of escape. 

By the time that Annie caught up to the rest of them with Pieck and her father, the Braun’s were waiting outside of the military base huddled together against the breeze off the ocean. Annie’s father was among them, looking tired, disgruntled, and distinctly not _huddling_

“The captain is already on board,” Reiner said in a hurry, “there’s no way to gather a full crew at this time, but he’ll just need our help throughout the journey.”

“It doesn’t matter, as long as we can get off Marley before we’re stopped,” Annie responded without much ceremony. 

They didn’t have time to worry about the details, and Reiner just gave a sharp nod in agreement as he turned to board the ship. She realized as she followed behind him and the sea reached up towards her face, shaking off the drowsy fatigue that had begun to catch up with her, that she’d been defecting to Reiner again. Like she had been when he’d led her to Paradis.

In the end, he’d won the fight that would have been the deciding factor between staying in Paradis and going home to Marley. From then on, for better or worse, she’d followed his lead. Then, when she’d found herself thrown from the crystal, she was four years behind on both Warrior business and the world at large, only seeing things through the narrowed lens of Armin’s experiences. She was in no position to give him orders.

At some point, the hierarchy became comfortable. She would have made an awful leader anyway.

They boarded the ship after their families, and if the Military Officials who called the attack saw them leave, they didn’t attempt to stop their escape. 

They left without contest, her father collapsing heavily in a seat within the walls of the ship with Mr. Finger, who coughed violently into a handkerchief. Annie remained with Reiner on the ship’s deck, sitting with her head back, looking up towards the sky as he tended to the wound on her arm. 

She was in a military issue undershirt with her jacket only over her unwounded side. 

“If there’s one thing I miss,” Reiner started, “it’s that bullets were ineffective before.”

Annie chuckled, nodding her head, “I’d have been healed by now, too.” 

“That definitely would’ve been more convenient,” he teased, but he was gentle as he finished up the bandage, “they moved quicker than I expected.”

“I should’ve seen it coming,” she said, pulling the coat back on and shifting to rest against his arm as he sat down beside him. She was exhausted, “there were signs of being trailed since at least the train car. Both me and my father noticed something off during our return journey, and there was a commotion at the station by the edge of town.”

“It’s not your fault for assuming they’d wait until _after_ everything was signed and decided upon,” Reiner challenged, “Connie was right, though, Marley _sucks_.”

That got a good laugh out of Annie, “that I’ve always agreed with.”

“That used to terrify me,” Reiner started.

“A lot used to terrify you,” Annie said, plainly and with only the mild hint of amusement in her voice.

“Very funny,” he responded.

“It was that I didn’t hold back my disdain when I spoke about Marley that scared you?”

Reiner nodded, “well, among other things, but I realize now that you were just never as blinded as Bertholdt and I.”

“I was an orphan, and my father was a struggling man in a cottage alone in the woods,” she continued, “we’d seen more of the cruelties than you. That isn’t your fault.”

“I guess,” 

“Am I really that scary?” She asked. 

“Yes, absolutely,”

She looked up at him for a moment and then back ahead, “that’s for the best, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence before the question seemed to dawn on Reiner, and he looked back at her, chuckling. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before saying, “you’re scary, yes, but I don’t mean that in a bad way,” Reiner responded, “though it is hard to be scared of someone when you know them to be afraid of bugs and made up of at least 60% sweetbreads.”

Annie elbowed him sharply, only to cringe at the jolt sent through the fresh wound. Yet, she was smiling, “that’s… a relief.”

He smiled back, and though she drew her shoulders up when he did it, he wrapped his arm around her. She glowered and sat up off his shoulder to lean back against the ship but didn’t pull away. 

They were wayward from their country, the home they’d been raised in and had fought endlessly to return to. Yet, as Gabi and Falco rushed from the back of the ship towards them, and Karina returned with tea, with Pieck in tow with blankets to shield them from the wind, only feet from the fathers aboard the ship, there was no other home they could have ever wanted.

\--

They made it to Paradis the following afternoon and traversed the empty space between the harbour and where the walls once stood on a military vehicle stored aboard the ship. The journey would be too long on foot, Pieck’s father was not well enough for horseback, and their options were limited with a group of their size.

Historia had made plans to create some form of transportation to the harbour in the near future, but it would go under construction once the damage of the Rumbling was rectified. 

Thankfully, Reiner had made this journey enough times to know the fastest route by heart, and Annie had done this trip in reverse not long ago herself. Between the two of them, they found their way to what had once been Wall Maria in record time. 

It helped that they weren’t returning as enemies, and they didn’t need to avoid detection. 

Instinctively, however, they both avoided Shinkanshina, entering through a section that had once been a wall without an entrance. They didn’t know this area well, but they knew Paradis well enough to find an inn that would have enough room for them to spend the day until they could figure out how to best go about getting them all to the capital. 

They could wait to board a boat that would take them on the canals straight there, but there was a part of them that worried that they’d be recognized by members of the Garrison or Military Police. That, and Mr. Finger was in no condition to keep travelling without rest, none of them were. 

Thus, the plan was made for Annie and Reiner to go ahead, leaving their families with Pieck. The pair of them knew Paradis well enough to find their way to the palace without worrying about following the canal line towards it. However, if they didn’t return by the following evening, Pieck would take the group to board the ferry and make for the capital themselves. 

Without the 3DMG or the Omni-Dimensional gear, the journey would be longer than they’d usually take as members of the military, but they were too on edge to waste any more time. 

After all their sneaking sound, missions, and daily life spent within the walls of Paradis, the two of them could find their way to the capital long before their families boarded the ferry. Thus, the decision was made to set out into the night alone.

Their luck only lasted until the 3rd and final leg of their journey. The mid-afternoon sky had been peppered in clouds all day, but as evening drew into night, the peppering became a blanket of heavy grey clouds. 

The rain started just as they made it to the shops, tailors, and homes surrounding the Palace grounds. As they approached, they contemplated walking straight through the front door but seeing as the situation was still so largely precarious and representatives of the Marleyan Military still stationed in Paradis, they decided to approach as they would have before their pardon. The fewer people who knew they were here, the better. 

At least not until they could ensure that their families were safe. 

With only the darkness as cover, they scaled a building nearest to the Palace to gain height, and despite not having 3DMG to speak of, they jumped the distance. Hypothetically, they shouldn’t have even considered the jump without some form of grappling hook or maneuver gear, but they didn’t even stop to hesitate. They both landed in a roll and kept going the second they were back on their feet. Annie felt her arm throbbing with pain as soon as their pace picked up into a run. She felt something warm and wet run down the back of her arm to her elbow, but her steps didn’t falter. 

Even from above, finding the guest wing was easy. 

Historia would be the hardest to find without alerting the whole staff, but they didn’t need Historia. They just needed to find a member of the 104th class or Levi. 

It wasn't until they’d found an open window on the 3rd floor and slipped into the small guest study that either of them said anything at all.

“Your arm-” he started, grabbing her by the elbow gently, “it’s bleeding through the bandages.”

She hadn’t noticed that the pain had gotten worse until he’d pointed it out, but sometime before she’d landed on the roof of the palace, she’d torn the fresh wound open again, and it had begun bleeding. She was still in the white tank top and military-issued shirt, so the red that poured from her upper arm was stark against the sleeve. 

“It’s nothing,” she said dismissively, “we need to find someone before whoever is using this room gets back.”

Reiner looked like he was going to protest, but she brushed past him towards the door. She listened before moving to open the door, but just as her hand came to touch the door handle, it turned beneath her unmoving hand. 

They froze as the door pushed inward, and through sheer instinct alone, they drew into defensive positions, preparing to buy time by knocking out whoever entered. 

Though, as the door fully opened to reveal Armin standing with a mug in one hand and a cardigan over his arm, their guards fell. The rain had been a stroke of bad luck, but the universe made it up to them immediately in cutting them this single break. 

“What-?” Armin startled, stepping in and closing the door behind him, “what are you guys doing here- Annie your arm! Are you okay?”

Without so much as a second for her to respond, he’d stepped forward and was urgently drawing the sleeve up to get a look at the wound.

Before he saw it, she placed a hand on his and drew it away, “it can wait,” she started, “do you know where everyone is?”

“Of course I do,” he said easily, but the worry never left his eyes. For a moment, she thought he’d not leave her, but he finally said, “I’ll get them and medical supplies, wait here until I come back.”

She was grateful that he hadn’t pressed them for the details of what happened yet; she had no intention of explaining it more than once. As soon as the adrenaline had worn off, the fatigue of the last 24 hours had hit her like a train. That, and she’d finally had time to be concerned about her arm.

She sat down on the floor, leaning against the side of the bookshelf, her head tilted forward with her eyes closed. Reiner crouched in front of her and took her arm as she rested her eyes. Once she’d taken the uniform shirt off that arm, he started to apply pressure to the blood-soaked bandages while they waited. 

“Good thing Armin is a studious study,” Reiner said lightly, in ways of breaking the silence, “He saved us a lot of trouble.”

“Don’t forget to thank him for his study habits then,” she responded, her tone muted with exhaust.

Before they could say anything else, the door opened again. This time, it was Connie on the other side, visibly frantic and utterly confused, “Hey, guys, what are you doing here? Armin said, you just arrived- I don’t remember Historia mentioning- are you okay?” 

“Hey Connie,” Reiner greeted, “it’s a long story; we didn’t entirely plan to come at all.”

Annie only opened her eyes and gave a simple nod in greeting. 

“Do you need medical supplies? Water?”

Reiner shook his head, “Armin is already on his way,”

It took a moment for Connie to decide that there was nothing he could do but wait, but after only a moment to hesitate, he properly entered the room and sat down on the deks.

“Do ships even make trips to Paradis this late?”

“Not usually,” Reiner said, shifting to properly kneel without releasing the pressure on Annie’s arm, “we had to make a special request.”

Before Connie could get another question out, the door opened a third time. 

Jean entered this time, much the same as Connie had, but when he closed the door, it slammed louder than entirely necessary. 

After a second to take in the state of the two of them sitting soaking wet on the study floor, he asked, “What the hell is going on?” 

“It’s a long story,” Annie said dryly. 

By the time the door opened for the _fourth_ time, Reiner was about ready to get up and lock it, but this time it was both Mikasa and Armin entering, and they locked the door behind them.

“Sorry it took so long,” Armin started, breathless from running through the Palace, but medical supplies in his arms. 

Reiner shook his head, “not at all, thanks.”

Only when Armin was crouching next to him did he release her arm, and after wiping the blood off her arm, they treated the wound carefully. As she watched them work, Annie realized that Armin would have learned to do this throughout his time in the Survey Corps for emergency situations. Reiner and herself had never needed to worry about treating their injuries properly until after the rumbling, so she’d only seen it done in training. 

“Can we talk about what happened now?” Jean prompted, standing arms crossed next to the door.

Mikasa approached after Armin backed off to sit on the chair at the desk, giving them both a dry towel and a glass of water without a word. 

“Remember when we discussed the risk of the Marleyan Military attempting to dispose of liabilities?” Reiner started as he finally sat back against the bookshelf next to Annie, “Annie and her father were attacked by mercenaries.”

“Those bastards-” Jean started.

“What makes you think they were hired by the Marleyan Military?” Connie asked.

Annie answered, “technically, we can’t be entirely sure, but that’s where all signs are pointing. If the Military wanted us dead, they couldn’t do it themselves, not after we came back to save Marley from the Rumbling. The general population is partial to the Warrior Unit for that sacrifice alone, and the tension between the Marleyan Military and Eldian Internment Zone residents has been rising since that time as well.”

“So you think they would hire a third party just to kill you now? Why?” Connie’s voice was nearly a shout.

“They’re still supporting you and your families, aren’t they? For the original sacrifice of giving their children over to the Military to join the Warrior Unit,” Armin started, tapping his chin as he leaned back, “after losing so much land and population, the Marleyan Government is entirely broke, for that alone the Warrior Unit is a cut they’d be more than willing to make, I imagine? That, and with the recent meetings with Queen Historia and us, you two already mentioned they saw you as a liability.”

“That’s exactly it,” Reiner said, “or at least, that’s the theory we are working with.”

Annie interjected before anyone could ask another question, “our families are here, and Pieck,” she shifted to sit more properly upright, “they’re at the edge of what was once Wall Maria in an inn. If we left them behind, they wouldn’t have been safe.”

The door handle jostled, followed shortly by a rhythmic knocking. If there was a melody to it that gave away who was at the door, Annie didn’t recognize it, but no one seemed bothered. Instead, without hesitating, Mikasa had unlocked and opened it to let Levi into the room. 

He surveyed the two of them and pinched the bridge of his nose after he set the tray down, “Queen Historia can’t step away without the attention of her staff and guards being drawn,” he poured a tea as he spoke and took a long sip before continuing, “there was a threat to your life, I presume?”

“Yes,” Reiner responded.

“We left Marley only an hour after my father, and I managed to get to Reiner’s,” Annie added, “if they haven’t noticed the entire Warrior Unit is gone, yet, they will shortly.”

“They’ll notice Gabi and Falco first,” Reiner said.

Annie nodded, looking at him, “they probably saw the ship leave,”

“One problem at a time,” Levi sighed, leaning against the wall, “I assume you were smart enough to bring your families with you?”

“We can take you to them,” Reiner said in ways of response.

He shook his head, “that’s unwise,” 

“Yeah, neither of you are looking too good,” Jean said, “it looks like you haven’t slept in years, and one of you just lost a lot of blood.”

“Give us the name of the Inn, Jean, Mikasa, the two of you will head out immediately to get them, take the coach,” Levi said, and the two of them gave a sharp nod in confirmation. 

Annie had made sure to note the street name and Inn name before they left, and as soon as the pair knew where they were going, they were on their way. It would take hours for them to get there and back, even with the coach. 

“The two of you should rest,” Armin suggested gently after they left.

“Yeah, if you’re still asleep when they arrive, we’ll wake you up, so don’t worry about it!” Connie added.

“We’ll have to check if the guest quarters are prepared or in use,” Levi said as he stood off the wall and headed for the door.

“We’ll be fine either way,” Reiner responded, setting his own water down on the floor next to him. 

Levi stepped out at that, leaving the four of them in the small study. Between the sound of the steady rain pouring outside and the exhaust of their journeys catching up to them, they fell asleep against each other on the floor exactly as they were. 

\--

They’d only been awake for an hour by the time they were pulled into a meeting with Historia. 

Pieck, Annie and Reiner left their parents with Gabi and Falco to attend. It was early in the morning, the only time Historia would have all day on such short notice, but it was better this way as is. The three of them were anxious enough, and after the journey and events of the last 42 hours, they needed to be _doing_ something to settle their nerves. One of them had nearly been assassinated in her sleep, and the other two would have been short to follow. 

They retold the story and just about everything else they knew about the Marleyan Military’s relationship and treatment of the Warriors Unit. By now, this was about the only form of retaliation they could manage, telling Queen Historia exactly how bad it is to live in Marley as an Eldian.

“I’m glad that captain was nice enough to take you here,” Historia smiled, “and I’m happy you knew that you’d be more than welcome in Paradis.”

“Thank you for having us,” Pieck said, leaning heavily on the arm of her chair, “we found ourselves completely out of options, again, it would seem.”

As she finished her sentence, she looked towards Annie and Reiner. The children of the Warriors Unit were never really given a choice, to begin with, even when it felt like they were doing things of their own will.

“There has to be something we can do about an attempted _assassination_ ,” Jean said, standing behind his chair with his arms crossed, “if we let them get away with that-”

“We can’t go around accusing them of trying to kill anyone,” Levi challenged, arms crossed and visibly annoyed, “even if we know it was them, they wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave evidence in transaction histories or ties to a militia of mercenaries. At best, we can make it clear that we know it was them and layout an excuse to keep the three of them, the kids, and their families in Paradis.”

Armin hummed in agreement, “they are probably still looking for a way to gain any upper hand in negotiations, seeing as they need so much from us and have little to offer in return. They might look for a way to pin the assassination attempt and subsequent disappearance of the Warrior Unit on Paradis.”

“I have no intention of giving them that chance,” Historia assured, “effective immediately, the Warrior Unit will be relocated to Paradis to act as ambassadors and to signify that Marley recognizes the terms of our agreement. If they have a hard time accepting that… we’ll make it clear that we had witnesses to the threat made against them while they were in Paradis last.”

“Thank you,” Reiner said earnestly, “we owe you one.”

Historia smiled, “even if I didn’t know you guys, as long as I have the ability to save people, I’d do it. It’s why I joined the Survey Corps at all,”

Though she was queen now, and there was a new strength to her already present leadership abilities, she was still the girl they’d met in the 104th class. All of them, in a way, hadn’t changed much at all. Annie hadn’t seen most of them after winding up in the crystal, and yet she’d still say that many of them were largely unchanged. There was new trauma, strengthened spirits, and all of them were hardened around the edges, but they were still the same band of misfits they’d been during training. 

As the conversation shifted to living arrangements and became much lighter as it continued, breakfast was brought in by the staff. Somehow, despite the urgent departure from Marley and the fact that she’d barely eaten at all since leaving home, she wasn't hungry. Instead, the idea of food made her stomach turn, and she sat quietly listening to the conversation while nursing a single glass of water in her hands. 

She didn’t notice at first, as her eyes turned from speaker to speaker during the conversation, that her world had begun to dim around the edges. Her vision was blurring and darkening in place, but she only attempted to blink it away and refocus on the conversation at hand. Even the noise in the room had begun to grow distant, though much of this she attributed to grogginess and fatigue that had been present since the start of the meeting. 

It wasn't until Reiner and Pieck began to stand to leave that she’d realized the conversation had ended at all. When she stood to follow them, a moment behind their movements, the darkness compounded in on itself, and her world spun.

Even if she tried to take a step, she couldn’t, her world had gone dark, and her legs had turned weightless beneath her. Before she could fall to her knee or catch herself on the chair, someone’s arm came around her, bracing her.

“Annie?” the voice sounded far away like she was listening through an ocean of water.

Someone else, a softer voice that was further away, still said, “she’s lost quite a bit of blood; she needs to rest,”

When she blinked away the worst of the darkness, sluggishly and against all of her muscles coaxing her to close her eyes and keeping them closed, it was Armin holding her up. 

There were a dozen little things that she could admit to herself she missed about the ability to shift. Though she was endlessly glad to be rid of the Female Titan, she had begun taking her regenerative abilities for granted. There was a culture shock, of sorts, to her inability to do some of the things she’d forgotten how to live without. Before it had been second nature, she’d been a Titan Shifter since she was 11. 

Even a year after all of the titans were finally gone, she found herself relearning just to be an ordinary person. Being able to retain injuries, she was discovering, was not something she’d missed.


	8. Who I am Hates Who I've Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no running from the past.

###### The Next Days

Annie had never fainted before, in part because the female titan made it so that she couldn’t lose blood as she had during the scuffle in the woods. Despite only having been out for a handful of minutes, in the following day’s everyone _but_ her father had insisted on treating her like she was about to pass out at any moment.

The doting and worrying had gotten old right away, but she knew she needed to wait until the wound wasn't at risk for opening again before she could safely prove that she was just fine. However, every hour made it harder to resist throwing Connie or Reiner over her shoulder for their transparent worry.

Though, with things so slow as they got word to Marley that the Warrior Unit was now in Paradis and requesting an urgent meeting with the powers at be, everyone had the time to be needlessly concerned. 

Four days after they arrived in Paradis, Armin had carefully reminded them of the date before dinner. He invited them to take the journey to Trost with them the following day if they wanted to pay respects to their fallen comrades. 

Both of them had declined and had avoided their friends for the rest of that day. They didn’t see the group off the following day, either, and before they knew it, they’d slipped into a habit of avoiding them.

When the scouts invited them for lunch, Reiner claimed his mother wanted to spend time with himself and Annie. Annie spent more and more time with her father, partially to avoid Reiner and in part to avoid the scouts entirely. It was easier, that way, not to think about Marco, about Mina and Thomas and everyone else they’d killed.

She had no right to mourn. Her grief was selfish, her devastation was cruel, and her guilt was an insult. She knew it; she had no right to any of the feelings that consumed her when she thought back to that day. Just like with Wall Maria, it had been their actions that had brought Paradis into hell. In doing the one thing they’d been raised to believe they had to, to atone for the sins of their ancestors, they’d damned their minds.

It was easier to avoid the Scouts instead of being forced to contend with her complicated relationship with Trost. She couldn’t escape it in the crystal, but she could try to avoid it here.

It wouldn’t last forever, though, and she knew that. To a degree, she didn’t want to keep avoiding them, but Annie had stopped sleeping through the night again, and Reiner had fallen into a precarious depression. His identity wasn't lost on him from this alone, but Annie listened carefully to how he phrased the few words they spoke to each other throughout the day.

Eventually, they found themselves in the sitting room in Historia’s quarters, talking over the details and plans for the impending arrival of the Marleyan representatives. Nothing had changed in terms of what to say and how to answer questions about the sudden change of plans with the Warrior Unit; all they needed to clarify was the small stuff like; _who will be attending, where will they be staying, who will be speaking and how to deal with attempted accusations._

It was nothing overly official, and the conversation turned casual in less than an hour of discussing the details. 

Annie could see Reiner itching to leave out of the corner of her eye. 

“Has anyone eaten lunch yet?” Connie asked as the conversation wound down. 

“Why don’t we go to that cafe down towards the canal?” Armin suggested.

Connie grinned, “yes! I’d kill for one of their cinnamon rolls right now.” 

Mikasa stood and gathered her things, “I have to go speak with the Military Police; I’ll meet you there,” she said as she headed for the door.

“I’m starving,” Jean added after she left, “I’m in.”

Armin looked towards Annie and Reiner, “what about you two? Are you hungry yet?”

“No, I’m not hungry at all yet; I think I’ll return to the guest rooms,” Reiner responded without a moment to hesitate and made to stand.

Annie had full intentions to follow him out, but she hadn’t so much as moved to stand before Jean spoke again.

“What’s wrong with both of you?” He asked, his voice harsh with annoyance and silencing the rest of the room, “we’ve all noticed that you’ve been avoiding us; you have been since we went to Trost.”

Reiner stiffened in his chair but didn’t say anything. Annie could only turn her eyes away from Jean to a chip in the coffee table's surface, colour entirely draining from her. 

“H- hey, Jean maybe-” Armin tried, raising his arms in an attempt to soothe the situation somehow.

Jean either didn’t notice or actively ignored Armin as he stared at the pair unmoving, “and don’t give me any bullshit about it being _nothing_ or being _busy_ , it’s obvious you’re avoiding us because of that day, and I want you to tell me why.”

“We figured it would be best that we didn’t come with you that day,” Reiner said as if that was an answer. 

Annie didn’t try to say a word.

Jean seethed and let out an annoyed groan as he shifted as if he were going to stand, “how can you expect anyone to forgive you if you can’t even begin to stop blaming yourselves, idiots!”

“Jean-” Armin tried again.

“Trost was my idea,” Reiner started, his expression stricken and his face almost sickly white, “in the end, it meant nothing, and yet it killed so many people, Marco-”

Jean went eerily quiet at the mention of Marco; for a moment, Annie wondered if he’d dive the table like he had before they’d reached the Rumbling. Instead, he just grits his teeth and glared at Reiner, “why do you have to insist on taking the blame for everything all the time?” he bit out, “even Bertholdt could admit that you had no choice,”

“There is no one else to blame for Trost but me,” 

“We both know that isn’t true,” Jean shot back, “how stupid do you have to be? How is anyone supposed to stop blaming you if you don’t stop readily taking it? It’s those Marleyan bastard’s fault, like everything else; by now, you should be blaming them, giving you no choice.”

Reiner shook his head, “it was my duty as a Warrior; I wanted to make Marley proud.”

“Enough,” Annie finally snapped, still unable to look up, “isn’t that enough already?” 

Her bangs hung over her face, shadowing her face from view and her fists clenched in her lap. She couldn’t stand it anymore; she couldn’t think about it anymore. Marco, of all things, she couldn’t handle thinking about. 

The image of him begging her for life as she took his 3DMG was burned into her mind, and she could still hear his screams every time a room got too quiet. She couldn’t forgive herself for not being strong enough, selfless enough, to save his life. Instead, she’d been selfish and cowardly and sentenced him to death so that she stood a chance at getting home.

“How can you expect me to forgive you for his death if you keep taking the blame for it?” Jean said anyway. “We’ve all done unforgivable things, but acting as though you alone deserve judgement for your actions is _stupid_ , Reiner.”

Annie couldn’t look at Reiner, but she couldn’t look at Jean either. She most certainly couldn’t close her eyes, though, and she found herself staring wide-eyed at her own hands in her lap, hoping the pounding of her heart would mask the sound of Marco’s voice in her head. 

“H- hey… what are you guys even saying..?” Connie asked, frantically looking between Jean and Reiner.

“There is no one else to blame, I ordered-”

“I already know what you did,” Jean said, his voice darkening. 

Reiner responded, but Annie’s fists had come over her ears in an attempt to block out whatever blame he was taking. If it was his fault, it was just as much hers. Without meaning to, she felt herself whispering an apology to a man who’d been dead for nearly six years. 

Like she had as they’d cleaned up the bodies in Trost, and for the entire month after, the only thing she could think to do was block it out. 

It wasn't the first time Reiner’s mind had splintered since the Rumbling, but it never got less terrifying. The first time, the day Marco died, had been the worst of it. At the time, it had seemed sudden, like his mind had broken all at once, but in the years she had to think about it in the crystal, she realized she’d missed a dozen signs. 

Everything that happened, every miss-step, every death, every sleepless night of nightmares, had been the culmination of mistakes made by 12-year-old children who knew no better. 

She couldn’t let Reiner stay in this room; she knew that much. Her fear of him in this state was outweighed by the knowledge that this could get much worse if he was allowed to keep fighting. 

Without knowing if anyone was speaking, without listening to the end of the fight, and without trying to resolve it in any other way, Annie stood. She only knew that people had been shouting because she noticed the silence when she caught their attention. Without a word, she grabbed Reiner by his arm and tugged to urge him to stand.

He tried to protest, but she shot him a glare that silenced him, and she took him from the room. Even in this state, Annie could take him in a fight; she just didn’t want to be dragging him back to the guest quarters by his shirt. 

Only when they made it to the courtyard that served as a shortcut to the guest quarters did she admit to herself that leaving had been partially selfish. Her hands shook as they walked; every blink was a flash of Trost and every other horrible thing before and after it. If she’d spent one more moment in that room being forced to _think_ about it, she wouldn’t have been able to handle it. She barely made it as far as she had without succumbing to the guilt she’d tried to convince herself was selfish. 

Reiner opened his mouth to say something; she’d seen it coming and didn’t let him speak.

Instead, she cut him off and said a simple, “it’s just me, Reiner,” as gently as she could manage when every defence was prepared to spring forward, “let’s just get back to our room.”

~*~

It wasn't that Connie hadn’t noticed the distance Annie and Reiner had tried to put between them since Trost; he was the first person to ask if anyone else had noticed it. He’d noticed it, they all had, but he’d had no intention of bringing it up so early.

Jean, however, was not a man of subtlety. He was also not a man of patience, but Connie had sincerely not imagined it’d end up quite like this. 

“I already know what you did,” Jean said, his voice sharp and venomous.

The moment he’d said it, Annie’s hands were over her ears, and Connie could see her go stone still in her seat. Jean and Reiner hadn’t seemed to notice at all, as the girl at their side went completely white, but Armin looked a second away from going to her. Neither of them was willing to move and risk making the situation worse. 

“There is no one else to blame for my actions,” Reiner responded, “I acted as any warrior in my position would have.”

“Bullshit,” Jean repeated, slamming his fist down onto the coffee table and rattling the glasses. 

Armin finally tried to step in, stabilizing a glass that had nearly toppled and saying careful, “guys- maybe it’s not a good time to talk about this,” he tried, “let’s just cool off and call it a day, this conversation isn’t going anywhere-”

Jean whipped around to glare at Armin, but only long enough to fire, “stay out of it!” before turning back to Reiner.

Before anyone could speak again, Annie had stood up, and the room had silenced with her movement. She only raised her head long enough to shoot a cold glare at Reiner before she tugged him after her and left the room without a word. 

It was clear as day, even from the other side of the room, that Annie’s hand was shaking when she pulled the door open. 

“Dude, what was that?” Connie asked, “cut them some slack; they only just got back.”

“This isn’t their first time living through an anniversary; they could’ve come back with us after the Rumbling,” Jean grumbled, crossing his arms, “they can’t just avoid the conversation every time we bring it up. How long do they think they can get past in Paradis if they can’t even look us in the eyes when something like this comes up?! It pisses me off. What happens when the Wall Maria anniversary passes? The forest when the commander tried to smoke out the female titan?”

Armin and Connie passed a glance towards each other, but before they could speak, Jean did again.

“What? You don’t agree?” 

“No, that’s not it, you’re right,” Armin said, before smiling, “we’re just glad that you care so much. You, of all people, have the right never to forgive them. I thought you’d never really care or consider either of them friends again.”

Jean scoffed, turning away and glaring at the coffee table, “I’m not heartless. They were only kids when they came to Paradis; even until the end, they didn’t have a choice. I haven’t forgotten what Bertholdt had said back then, but it’s impossible not to blame them when they believe they’re guilty.”

“Give them time,” Armin suggested, gently, “we’ve had each other all these years to heal and handle the guilt of what we did to Marley. We had each other through the anniversaries of Trost and the fall of Wall Maria too. Until Annie was back, the two of them had no one.”

Connie stood and stretched his back, “yeah, cut them some slack. Though, I don’t think we can let them isolate themselves so much, both for work reasons and because I was going to challenge Reiner to spar. I wanted to see how far I’ve come since training.”

Jean glared at him, but the change of subject allowed for the conversation to die without anyone having the last word. 

After the argument, they decided to take lunch in the Palace, and Connie hoped to convince Annie and Reiner to join them for dinner. When he left Historia’s quarters and passed the courtyard, he saw Annie and Reiner speaking against a pillar on the far side. Connie couldn’t tell what they were saying from the distance, but they both looked better than they had when they left. 

Reiner was bracing himself with one arm on the pillar, facing the stone entirely and dwarfing Annie, who had her arms crossed as she looked up at him. For a moment, it looked like she didn’t know how to help him, but before Connie left the courtyard walkway, he watched her place a hand on Reiner’s arm, and both of them seemed to ease a bit into the conversation.

The fresh air was probably good for them, and though he wanted to speak with them before dinner, he decided to let them be alone for a couple of hours. He was glad, however, to see that they’d at least have each other.

~*~

The knock came to their door during the early evening, long before the sun had begun to set in the long summer days. Annie and Reiner had only spent an hour outside to collect themselves in the open air of the courtyard because their room in the guest quarters felt stifling, and they didn’t want to risk running into their families in the state they were in. 

They’d been avoiding everyone but Pieck during the worst of the days following the anniversary. Still, until their parents were set up with apartments in the city, it was increasingly difficult to avoid detection.

After everything else, neither of them could handle causing their parents more grief and guilt over them becoming Warriors. The open-air was probably for the best anyway; Paradis had always felt a little claustrophobic to all three of them since they first arrived. 

Reiner stood to get the door, and Annie took the opportunity to open the window. They’d been laying down since they got back; at first, they’d talked for a bit, but Reiner always needed to sleep off the worst of his meltdowns, so they’d slipped into silence while he dozed off. Annie couldn’t sleep after thinking about any of what they’d done, so she’d just laid awake and let Reiner find comfort in her presence alone.

She was grateful for his warmth in the winter, but during the summer, it was a fine line to walk between cozy and uncomfortable.

“Connie- hey. What’s up?” Reiner startled after opening the door. 

Annie turned around, sure enough, Connie was standing in the doorway. She leaned against the bedside table and crossed her arms but didn’t greet him beyond a brief nod of her head. 

“Hey guys, I just wanted to…” he looked like he was picking his words, and there was a hint of uncomfortable panic on his expression like he hadn’t really decided what he was here for. He gathered his thoughts after a moment and rubbed the back of his head, “I wanted to make sure you guys were okay and ask if you wanted to come to dinner with us? I know after lunch you may not want to, but I think we should all talk about this together now that everyone’s had time to cool down... We don’t want you guys to feel like you have to push us away.”

While he spoke, Annie shifted her attention away, her expression disinterested. At times she wished she could convince herself she didn’t care, again, as she had back during training and before she’d gotten found out. It had seemed so easy then when the only thing she cared about was getting home to her father.

She’d reached that end game, and along the way, she’d realized just how much she’d wanted to be a good person to the people she’d done the worst crimes to. Now that her father was here, she realized just how much she wanted to be more than what her situation had made her as a child. Without a single-minded goal left, she’d realized just how much she’d actually valued the opinions of people she’d convinced herself she’d hated and was willing to kill—even Mikasa, who’d been distant since Eren’s death. 

“Uh… so that’s what this is about,” Reiner started, scratching his jawline and turning to Annie, “what do you think?”

She just shrugged and pushed off the bedside table, shifting her weight to one leg instead, “whatever, either’s fine with me.”

“Right,” he responded, turning back to Connie, vaguely displeased to have the decision left up to him alone, “if Jean is okay with it, we’ll join you.”

“Don’t worry about Jean,” Connie said cooly, waving a hand dismissively, his expression almost playfully annoyed, “he isn’t actually mad at you; he’s just always mad in general.”

Reiner laughed at that, which soothed a worry Annie hadn’t realized she’d been carrying, “yeah, I guess that’s true.”

She could never really tell when he’d come out the other end of an episode like that. Unlike Bertholdt, who’d coddled Reiner and done little to prevent the identity breaks he suffered actively, Annie was actively taking mental notes on Reiner’s reactions during and before episodes. Laughing was a good sign; it almost always was. 

“We’re going to meet out front in an hour or so,” Connie said, smiling at both of them and stepping away to leave, “oh- and you guys don’t have to wear the white uniforms out anymore if you don’t want to. We usually just eat dinner in civilian clothes, if we can get away with it.” 

He left as Reiner thanked him. Annie hadn’t really thought much about the uniform until Connie had mentioned it, but in the time since the Rumbling, they’d always returned to Paradis in full Marleyan Military uniform. Then, to avoid any retaliation or punishment from their higher-ups, they’d made a habit out of staying in the white uniform and red armband of the Warrior Unit.

When they’d returned this time, even as they were attempting to escape assasination, they’d largely stuck to that habit. They hadn’t even realized until Connie pointed it out, and when Reiner closed the door behind him as he left, they both laughed at themselves as they went about getting ready to go.

\--

Annie was only moderately surprised to see Mikasa waiting with Jean, Armin, and Connie at the palace’s front entrance. Since Eren’s death, it’d been slow going on getting her to rejoin the group again. Slow going enough that even when visits were months apart, there’d been little to no progress until the first year had ended. 

Now, it was one day at a time, baby steps.

They walked as a group to the restaurant, the last standing members of the Southern Division 104th class aside from the queen. Annie couldn’t quite get past how strange it was that there were so few of them left after only five years. She had to avoid the thought that she was partially to blame for it. 

It also struck Annie as a bit strange to be in civilian clothes around them again. She was glad to be back in her white sweater again, however. The Marleyan Uniforms were significantly more strict than the Paradis uniforms, so she hadn’t really worn them since the rumbling. It wouldn't have bothered her so much if her uniform wasn't as uncomfortable as it often was, and her sweater was leagues more comfortable. 

They ordered right away but avoided the subject for as long as possible to maintain some level of casual conversation. 

“Sasha mentioned once that you have a bit of a sweet tooth, Annie,” Connie started when the drinks had come out; Annie had ordered a sweet fruit drink, “I don’t know why that surprised me, but I didn’t believe her.”

Annie looked at him and then just shrugged, pushing her bangs out of her face, “I just like how sweet things taste.”

“My mom has probably made a couple hundred batches of sweet bread, just for Annie,” Reiner laughed, “Gabi’s been glad for it.”

“Did you guys know each other before the program?” Armin asked, careful to avoid touching on anything dangerous.

Reiner shook his head, “no, not at all. I don’t think we were even really friends during training until we were forced to be as we left.”

“I can see it,” Connie grinned, “you always seemed angry with each other during training. I thought Reiner was mad that you beat him in hand-to-hand, Annie.”

“He knew I could beat him in hand-to-hand,” she said dismissively, “I always could.”

“Wait, didn’t you and Mikasa challenge each other once?” Connie asked.

“Oh, I remember that,” Jean looked at Mikasa, “we got interrupted before there was a winner,”

“Mikasa graduated number one in our class, so I kinda assumed she would have won,” Connie continued, “but what do you think? Who’d win now?”

Annie looked towards Mikasa, then back at Connie, “it depends. If it’s hand-to-hand alone, I think I’d have the best chance; otherwise, I’d lose.”

“I can’t see you losing- though… I can’t picture Mikasa losing either,” Connie went on, turning to Mikasa.

“She’s better with melee combat, but in an all-out fight with maneuver gear and weapons, she’s right,” Mikasa said simply. Though as she said it, her expression shifted contemplative, “though I’m not entirely confident in saying that either. We are similar in strength and ability; it’s too close to call.”

“So why don’t you try again? Challenge each other and settle who really is the strongest,” 

Mikasa shook her head, “there’s no point.”

Connie looked like he was about to protest or question her, but Annie added before he could, “it wouldn’t really matter unless it was an all-out fight to the death, and even then it would just boil down to who the first one of us to make a mistake is,” she took a sip of her glass, “and the four years I was in the crystal gave her an experience advantage on me. That’s answer enough for me.”

“That’s not entirely accurate, though,” Reiner challenged, “those four years helped her catch up on your experience advantage; we have been formally training much longer than they were.”

Annie thought about it for a moment before shrugging and pushing her bangs out of her eye again, “I guess.” 

“Wait, I have a question about the crystal actually,” Connie started, but only continued when she nodded for him to go on, “were you _stealing_ parts of Eren’s titan? And Armin said you could hear people the whole time?”

“I wasn't doing it entirely on purpose; I panicked,” she said simply.

“You panicked? Here I thought it was a calculated plan you had should you get captured,” Jean responded, biting down hard on a piece of bread.

“I wasn't thinking, I’d been cornered, so I just… protected myself,” she shrugged then, “and I didn’t want to face Hange if I’m honest. She made me nervous,”

That earned a chuckle from the group, and she just took another sip of her drink. Hange had threatened her with torture, with experimentation, and wouldn’t have hesitated to kill her to know more about her titan. Annie had come face to face with that threat too many times to be comfortable. 

“And you could hear us?” Jean asked.

“I heard you call me cowardly,” Annie responded flatly, “and almost everything else after.”

“Oh- uh sorry,” 

“Don’t be,” 

The group silenced for a moment, and Annie could feel them inching closer to the argument’s continuation from earlier that day. She’d managed to help defuse Reiner for now, but part of her worried it was still too early to talk about it again. 

Instead, Armin surprised her, “I like to think we would have understood,” he started carefully, “back then when we made the trap to capture you. I like to think we would have understood if you told us the truth and we just had a civil conversation about it. But… if that were true, we wouldn’t have tried to make the trap, to begin with, and I might have just tried to speak to you myself with some backup hiding in the city.”

“I wouldn’t have said anything then,” she said without hesitation, “I didn’t want to die, but it would’ve been a death sentence either way, so there was no point giving Reiner and Bertholdt up…”

“I guess that’s true,” Armin agreed.

“If I was honest back then, I can’t imagine you would have been as forgiving as you are now,” she continued.

Jean spoke this time, his expression pinched and his grip on his cutlery tight, “you were only 16; that should’ve been enough.”

“In hindsight,” Annie agreed, “but so were all of you. That’s just how it is; now that we’re older, we think that being a teenager is young. Besides, we were all full-fledged soldiers and military police.”

“Commander Erwin was a kind man; I can’t imagine he’d let Hange or us _actually_ torture you,” Armin said, his expression distant.

Annie shrugged, “there’s no way to know now.”

“I actually spent four years thinking that was exactly what was happening,” Reiner said; his voice was light, but there was a hint of that worry she’d come to expect when he talked about her like this, “Armin had told Bertholdt and I that they were torturing you, not letting your body rest. I was convinced enough by his lie that when I saw you standing with him and talking to any of them like friends, I was genuinely confused.”

Armin startled, sitting up straighter and looking wide-eyed at Reiner, “oh- I thought you’d both eventually see right through my lie,” he stated, “I didn’t even think to correct myself when we were working together again, sorry about that.”

“You got really scary when you said it,” Reiner continued, “you should go into performance arts, honestly. We both thought about her screams enough that I challenged Zeke to a fight to convince him to let us go rescue her.”

“Armin told me about that lie,” Annie said after a moment of almost uncomfortable silence. She looked towards Armin as she continued, “you’d come down alone, but it was the first time you’d come back in a while. A lot of your visits back then were just updates on Reiner and Bertholdt.”

“I felt bad,” Armin admitted, rubbing the back of his head, “for lying to them and for insinuating that we’d torture you for information. It just didn’t seem right. I couldn’t apologize to them for it, so I guess I was apologizing to you.”

“It was better than Hitch complaining about boys,” Annie said lightly, attempting to avoid making Armin uncomfortable, “but I appreciated that both of you spoke to me, even if you didn’t know I was listening. I’d gotten used to being talked about as if I wasn't there.” 

Armin blushed a bit and shrugged, “well, I’m glad at least. Knowing that now.”

When Annie caught the blush, her own cheeks heated, and she looked back at her drink with another word. 

\--

On their return walk back to the palace, Reiner and Jean were bickering amongst each other about the best way to conserve gas on 3DMG and various other inconsequential subjects at the front of their small group. 

Annie hung back, glad to let Reiner reconnect with someone he’d been close to before. As she walked towards the back of the group, it’d given Connie a chance to take her by the arm to grab her attention gently.

“Hey, Annie, can I ask you something?” He started. She only nodded and let him speak, “earlier, after the argument. After you and Reiner left, I saw you in the courtyard speaking with him. It had… seemed pretty bad, his reaction, I mean. But you managed to get him back?”

“I’ve known him for a long time,” she responded simply, “that isn’t a question though,”

“No, I know,” he started, “I was wondering if you could teach me how to help him like that.”

Annie’s step faltered, and she finally looked at Connie directly, “what? Why?”

“Well- we’re friends, and now that you guys are back, it feels wrong to just leave all the pressure on you to bring him back,” he said, averting his eyes, “and if it happened when you weren’t around…”

“Things are fine the way they are,” Annie said without a moment to think about it, “just being his friend is enough. I know what he’s been through first hand; I can handle it on my own.”

Connie looked ready to challenge her, but she didn’t even look back at him. She just kept her eyes forward, and her expression disinterested as always, and Connie surrendered his protest. Out of the corner of her eye, Annie could see that Connie was watching Reiner, but she tried not to think about it as she kept walking onward.

The walk back to the palace wasn't long, but Annie was surprised to find herself winded as she came to a stop next to Reiner at the entrance. He lightly put an arm around her shoulders when they stopped, jokingly as he said something to Jean, but even if she’d wanted to shrug himself off, she found herself distracted by how winded the walk had left her.

She stifled it, and while the others laughed at something Reiner said, she took a couple long breaths, settling the problem. Dealing with Reiner and her own upset around the argument this morning must have exhausted her more than she realized, and the lack of sleep hadn’t been helping. 

“By the way,” Armin prompted, a hint of uncertainty in his voice, “I was thinking about what happened at lunch, and I had an idea. There’s a monument at Trost, for what happened. If you want to go, we can all go together. None of us blame you for what happened, but if you need to apologize to someone to find closure… it’s up to you, of course, and you don’t have to decide now.”

Annie and Reiner both silenced, and she felt his arm stiffen before he answered, “we’ll think about it. Thank you,”

Armin simply nodded, and they all bid each other a good night before separating to turn in for the evening. It wasn't that late, the summer sun hadn’t even set all the way yet, but when they returned to the guest wing, they only quickly said goodnight to their parents before returning to their room. As Annie ran a comb through her hair and prepared to change for bed, Reiner laid down entirely clothed and with his shoes still on. 

He was asleep before he could scold him for wearing his shoes to bed, and she just rolled her eyes, took them off and tossed them haphazardly towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~ I'm so glad there are people enjoying this fanfiction. The comments and kudos have been making me smile all day~
> 
> While writing this, as I'm sure some of you have noticed, I began naming chapters after song lyrics. (This will get clearer and clearer in the following chapters,) what this means, however, is that there is a playlist that exists for this fanfiction! I'll link the playlist here for anyone who wants to listen to the songs that these chapters were often themed around, or named after. (There are songs on here that are used to title later chapters, so you may be able to get hints as to some future themes I explore.) Not all the songs I listened to while writing this are showcased on this playlist, but the ones that helped this story become what it is are on here!
> 
> I hope you enjoy~  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7gaYSEkiJw9lzXWhbjixHz?si=u-yXK_EAReqNfDmP8PLkxQ


	9. Song for Every Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They visit Trost as time becomes an enemy again.

###### One Week Later

Armin was surprised that they’d agreed to join them, so he’d given them a week to change their mind if they thought it was too soon. They hadn’t, however, and unless prompted, they didn’t even mention their planned trip to Trost until the day had come.

They’d all piled into one coach, cramped and shoulder to shoulder, but it was better this way than having to split between two carriages. 

The journey was quiet. He couldn’t blame Annie and Reiner for not wanting to talk, though.

As they sat in the silence through the journey, Annie was leaning against the carriage wall, staring out the window. He’d seen that look on her before, the way her eyes grew distant and contemplative as she got lost in thought, and her expression relaxed as her focus was taken off the moment. There was a strange magnetism to these moments, where he found himself watching the way her eyes would flutter at the morning light that would break past the buildings from time to time, and the way her breathing slowed into a calm rhythm as the melodic energy of the morning settled over them.

He watched her until the spell broke when she leaned forward and rested her head in her own cupped hands.

They arrived only minutes later, and any of the calm that had begun to form in the early morning had entirely died in the new oppressive energy. 

The monument was a large pillar of stone and etched names. All of the names were listed alphabetically and hosted every cadet and scout that died in the battle. Armin knew that somewhere on the pillar was the name, Eren Yeager. He hadn’t died here, he hadn’t even begun his eventual march towards genocide here, but there was no other place they could honour the boy they lost without insulting those he’d crushed. 

Before they’d chosen this pillar, they’d considered listing his name with his mothers on the Maria monument that was not yet finished. It was agreed upon early on that they needed to honour the scout he’d grown to be, and Trost had been his greatest display of heroism in the too-short life he’d lived.

Annie and Reiner followed them closer to the monument, but they walked the rest of the distance to it alone. If they were speaking, no one else could hear it. From the short distance between them, it looked like they were only staring at the names in utter silence until the dam broke. 

It started with Annie, whose eyes watered visibly, and her entire body shook. She grits her teeth as if she were protesting the tears and eventually closed her eyes as the tears stubbornly slipped down her cheeks. Reiner stood, stone still and ghost white, looking up at the monument with only the barest of tears welling at the edges of his eyes. His fists were balled at his side.

He was the first to say anything, it was whispered but Trost was silent enough to carry the sound, “I’m sorry,” 

Even if they hadn’t heard it, Armin would have guessed that was what he would say.

Annie didn’t say anything and didn’t even attempt to utter a single word. Armin had been here recently, and before the Warriors had found themselves wayward in Paradis, he’d find himself here frequently. Though, he never realized until he saw Annie and Reiner standing side by side, looking between horrified and devastated, that he hadn’t connected this with them. 

In the years after Annie was encased in the crystal, Armin had begun to slowly see the situation differently. Perhaps for a while, he’d seen Trost and thought of Reiner because they’d spent a substantial amount of time on opposite sides of the battlefield. With Annie, by the time she’d finally been freed, Armin had found himself to have committed a similar unforgivable sin.

He’d stood above the Marleyan harbour, having killed so many people, and become a man who has taken fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, friends, and family from so many strangers. The moment had been so similar to what Bertholdt had seen in life that the image of it alone had triggered those same memories from Bertholdt to surface in his own mind.

His own horror, for what he had done to Liberio, hit him almost immediately. It had hit Jean, Mikasa, Connie and himself pretty early after the grief of Sasha’s death had given way to the guilt of what they’d done to find themselves there at all. Then it hit him again when he’d finally truly met Gabi. When she’d turned to Niccolo and screamed that Sasha had killed someone she’d loved first, it had all seemed to come into focus.

But had it not been the same for Reiner and Annie? Because the mind of a 12-year-old cannot comprehend genocide. They could not have known the weight of it. They’d met the victims of their crimes as friends, but they’d believed themselves to have come too far to avoid consequence. 

In the stillness, where the wind had died down, and the silence that was always present in Trost became too loud to bear, Armin realized the same thoughts must be running through the minds of all four of the scouts.

Jean, who’d done everything to villainize them. Connie, who’d cried when he believed they’d killed Reiner. Mikasa who was always ready to kill either of them if it had ensured the safety of the people she loved. Where did that leave him? He’d never been ready to kill them, he’d visited Annie for four years, and he’d felt bad for the state they’d found Reiner in when they’d attacked Liberio. 

Armin was just beginning to believe that this was a mistake. They didn’t need to be here reliving their guilt and the horrors of what they’d done. It had been hell, it was a nightmare that Armin didn’t wake up from until recently, but it was the result of a series of decisions made by military officials who’d raised children to be weapons.

He opened his mouth to suggest that they go back, that there was no reason for them to be doing this when a sound from Annie broke the silence.

At first, the noise had sounded like a sob, and perhaps in part, it was. It wasn't until the second time that Armin had realized that there was a rasp to the edges of the sound, and by the third, Reiner had turned to her. 

She was coughing. 

It wasn't a quiet thing either; it was desperate and choking until it brought her to grab Reiner’s arm before she crouched down onto one knee as it wracked her body. Before anyone could move, she swayed, and Reiner moved to stabilize her from completely falling over. 

“Annie-!”

He was moving before he registered that he’d even said her name, closing the distance between them with the rest of their group and crouching at her side. She was ghost white and clammy, and her entire body trembled beneath his hand when he’d settled it on her back.

“What happened? Was she sick at all this morning?” he asked, looking at Reiner. 

Reiner shook his head, but it took a moment for him to respond, “no, she was just tired.” 

“Dude- you’re not looking to good yourself, are you okay?” Connie asked, drawing Armin’s attention from Annie long enough to see how pale the larger man was. His eyes were unfocused, and every movement was slow. He looked gaunt.

“I’m fine, just didn’t sleep well last night either,” Reiner had said easily, focusing on Annie, “we should take her out of here.”

“Is this really just fatigue?” Jean asked, “you have to be kidding. Did you eat something rotten last night?”

Armin took Annie’s weight from Reiner; she was still coughing, but it’d settled into wheezed laboured breaths, and she easily let her head come to rest on Armin’s chest. Her whole body was still trembling. 

As they’d begun to move, Mikasa rushed back to bring the coach closer, and as Jean and Connie helped Reiner to his feet, it struck him. All at once, it hit Armin.

As the panic began to settle into his chest, he kept it to himself. After the upset and trauma of the last few weeks, the both of them could just be fatigued. He’d seen Annie begin to slow down in the last week in particular, but the anxiety of this trip could have been keeping her from sleep. 

There was no reason to raise alarm for something that very well could be fatigue or, as Jean suggested, food poisoning. 

He told himself that as he supported almost all of Annie’s weight back to the carriage, and he tried to convince himself of it as he felt her slump against him while the horse brought them into motion. 

\--

Annie remained barely conscious during the entire urgent ride back. She hovered between laboured breaths and exhausting herself with her own breathing. Reiner remained upright and alert, but he looked like he was going to be sick. 

They could only go so fast as they journeyed back to the palace, but Armin kept wishing they could move faster. If they could check on Pieck or talk to their parents, he could rest his baseless worries and tend to the two of them properly.

“You look like you’re going to hurl, Reiner,” Connie said, worry evident in his voice as he leaned up to put a hand on his forehead. He drew back quickly, “I don’t know if you're warm, but you’re definitely sweaty.”

“You better not throw up in the coach; it’s too cramped in here,” Jean fired, sitting on the other side of Reiner. 

“Quiet, both of you,” Mikasa interjected before anyone could say anything else. She sat at Armin’s side and reached across the carriage to place a hand on Reiner’s forehead, “he’s running a fever.”

She reached over Armin, and after issuing a brief apology as a warning, she placed a hand on Annie’s forehead as well. Armin felt the shudder that went through her at the cold of Mikasa’s hand on her forehead. 

All Mikasa needed to do was glance at Armin, and he knew. Her expression was grim with concern as she looked out the window to see how far they had left until they made it to the palace.

“Her too?” Connie asked, before cursing and looking between the two of them, “what even happened? How could they both be sick like this,”

“We don’t know yet,” Armin said softly.

“It feels like it came out of nowhere-”

Jean interjected, “it didn’t, though, did it,” he crossed his arms and shot a knowing glare up towards Reiner, “Annie’s been tired every time we see her, and Reiner wasn't much better this week. With the distance they tried to put between us up until now, too, there’s no way we could even know if they’ve been slowly getting sick and not telling us. Which would’ve been stupid and made it worse,”

Reiner didn’t say anything, and Annie didn’t even seem to realize people were speaking. Eventually, when Reiner did speak, he didn’t answer Jean, “how is she?”

“Weak, I’m supporting all of her weight now,” Armin responded. 

“I’ll carry her in,”

Jean scoffed, “no, you won’t. You can barely hold your own head above your body; I will.”

“It’s not a good idea for you to carry anything right now, Reiner, let alone a person,” Armin added gently, “you need to focus on yourself until we can get you both laying down and looked at properly.”

Reiner opened his mouth to protest, but Annie spoke instead. Her voice was low, and she didn’t raise her head, but her voice carried the threat anyway, “listen to them, you idiot.”

The protest died with that.

\--

Their parents were sitting in a small seating area in the hallway of the guest wing. It had large bay windows that overlooked the palace’s front side, with the rooms stretched out in a hall behind them. 

Which means they saw the coach return and watched as Jean lifted Annie out and Reiner stepped out uneasy on his feet.

Armin knew he needed to speak with them, needed to explain what happened and ask questions he hoped would only be precautionary.

While they brought the pair to their room, they passed Gabi and Falco sprinting down the hall towards Karina and Mr. Leonhardt. 

Gabi skid to a stop in her socks at the sight of the two Warriors, “what happened? Are they okay? Did something happen?”

“They’re not feeling well,” Jean responded, vaguely tense and annoyed already. He visibly held Annie a bit higher and away from the kids.

“Are you okay, Reiner?” Falco asked as if he hadn’t even heard Jean at all. 

Reiner hummed a, yes, putting a heavy hand on Falco’s head, “I’m fine, don’t worry about grown-ups.”

“And Ms. Annie?” he asked.

“I’m sure she’s fine too,” he assured them. 

“You both look awful,” Gabi challenged, “don’t lie to us.”

“Don’t swarm them, you two,” Karina said softly, gesturing for them to come to join her and Mr. Leonhardt. As she said it, though, the worry was clear on her face when she looked back at the others, “let them lay down.”

Armin nodded his thanks to them, holding the door open to their guest room to let them settle in and rest. There was an eerie feeling watching Jean lay Annie down and to see her remain unmoving with her eyes closed. The only difference from years he’d spent watching her from outside her crystal was the laboured rise and fall of her breathing.

As Jean opened the window, Armin stepped to her bedside to pull the blankets over her. She’d continued to leave her hair down from time to time since being freed, but it’d gotten long enough to rest over her face and eyes. Armin brushed them away gently while she slept, which earned him a knowing huff that might have been a laugh from Jean. 

Armin blushed and drew his hand away.

“Reiner, you really should lay down,” Connie said, breaking Armin from his distraction, “at least try to sleep off the nausea.”

“I’m fine, really,” he responded, “I should at least keep an eye on her.”

There was something frantic and raw about his expression. Something within him had jostled loose an old feeling he’d long buried. Armin could see it in his eyes from here, in the way Reiner was watching her face as though he might never see her wake up again.

He’d been alone once before. Annie had been captured, Bertholdt had been killed, leaving Reiner without the closest thing he had to family in Paradis. The only two people in the whole world who could understand exactly what they’d been through, and he’d been the last one standing. He’d been the only one to return home.

It was obvious in his eyes that part of him worried that it would happen again. 

Armin wasn't confident he’d survive the loss a second time. Though, with their semi-sudden decision to go to Trost, he’d realized that they might not have been expecting to survive much longer at all.

“I’m going to go talk to your parents for a second and then let them in, if you want,” Armin said, heading for the door, “try to rest until then; Jean and Connie can keep an eye on both of you.”

He knew Reiner had protested it; he’d heard the beginnings of a sentence before closing the door and facing two very worried parents. 

“We sent Falco and Gabi to go get them tea and cookies; it should keep them occupied for a bit,” Karina said, holding her hands in front of herself tensely, “did something happen?”

“We… I don’t know,” Armin started, “but I… I need to ask you something.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” She asked again, clearly growing frantic.

They’d both nearly lost their children, believed they’d lost their children, too many times for one parent to handle. Even in his silence, Mr. Leonhardt had not yet taken his eyes off Armin.

“It might be just a bug, but,” Armin shifted uncomfortably, “I need to ask, to be sure. How long ago did they inherit their titans?”

“They were 12; it wouldn’t have been too long before they were sent to Paradis,” Karina responded, the question not yet clicking in her head.

But it had for Mr. Leonhardt, and he answered, “Annie was 11, she’s 24 now. That’d make it 13 years ago; they inherited the power during the summer of that year.”

Armin felt his stomach bottom out, dropping so fast he thought he’d puke, “have you seen Pieck recently?”

“Her father’s been particularly unwell with all of the travel recently; she’s been taking care of him,” Karina said, “I brought them dinner last night, but I think they were resting; she didn’t answer the door and only took the food after I left it for her.”

“We need to check on her,” Armin responded frantic, “if I’m right… the Curse of Ymir might not have died with the Founding Titan.”

\--

If it were possible, Pieck was worse than both of them. When they knocked on the door, her father had answered, leaning heavily on the doorframe, looking relieved to see them. Pieck was weak, lethargic, but she was at least still awake.

They didn’t know if they had the time to waste to call Jean, so Armin just lifted Pieck bridal style into his arms and stepped out of the way while Karina gathered some sheets, pillows, and other necessities. 

“You’re very chivalrous, Armin,” Pieck said lightly, her head rested against his collarbone and one arm wrapped around his neck, “I can see why Annie likes you.”

Armin blushed, “I don’t know if that’s true-”

That managed to make Pieck laugh, which was broken by coughs and exhausted breaths, “she’s not very good at hiding how she feels. I know Annie; she feels the same way for you as you do for her.”

“How do you-”

“I am a good watcher,” she teased, “and you two are not very subtle,”

“Well- in any case, this isn’t the time, you’re not doing well,”

“No, it doesn’t seem so, does it?” She closed her eyes as she spoke this time, “looks like the curse isn’t gone after all. What a shame, isn’t it?”

The surprise of how casually she said it almost had Armin drop her entirely, “you knew already?”

“I figured it out last time I saw Annie and Reiner,” she said simply, “I was turned before them and had started to feel awful. I was sitting on the balcony to get some air and saw the pair of them looking exhausted the other day, and I figured it out.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“We knew this was coming before,” she hummed, “and I found myself too weak to move before I could find someone to tell.”

Armin cringed a bit at the idea, it had all happened so fast, and with the uncertainty around the incoming meeting with the Marleyan Military, they’d missed so much. If they’d missed Reiner and Annie getting ill, of course, they missed Pieck too.

“Sorry, Pieck,” Armin said as they began heading back towards Reiner and Annie’s room. 

“Don’t be,” she said sleepily, “it’s been busy.”

He didn’t have the time to ask or say anything else as he stepped into the busy room. Jean and Connie were already out to get a bed for Pieck, but by then, Gabi, Falco, Mr. Leonhardt and Karina were already inside the room, and Mikasa was at the door. 

\--

The moment Reiner saw Armin enter with Pieck in his arms, he stood, “Pieck, are you okay?”

“I’m about as good as you two, I imagine,” she said, and when Reiner stepped closer to where Armin had paused at the door, she happily let him take her. When he had her safely in his arms, and he balanced his unsteady legs, she wrapped her arms around his neck, “when was the last time you swept me off my feet, Reiner?” 

Reiner snorted, shaking his head and settling her down on his bed, “it’s been too long, I think,” he teased right back.

When she was settled back down, Pieck was coughing weakly into a lacy handkerchief balled in her hand. Reiner rubbed her back until she managed to take a deep, laboured breath, and she rested back onto the pillows at the head of the bed.

“Please rest, dears,” Karina prompted, bringing a glass of water to Pieck and Reiner.

Annie was still asleep in bed, her father sitting on the edge of the mattress, keeping a worried eye on her. 

“Thank you, Ms. Braun,” she responded as she took a long sip of her water. 

As soon as she did, she visibly exhausted and set it down on the bedside table. Without much ceremony, she shifted to lay down, bunched at the top of the bed and fell asleep. Even before inheriting the Cart Titan, she’d always had the ability to fall asleep wherever she was. Since then, she’d seemingly only slept heavier.

He’d seen her take a nap in a war room, sitting on the floor against the wall while waiting for everyone to arrive.

Reiner didn’t try to lay down once she’d fallen asleep, despite his mother suggesting he lay down until the third bed was brought in. He didn’t; he waited instead and only laid down to rest when he was assured that there would be someone coming in and out of the room to check that they were _all_ okay.

He hadn’t seen the titans’ previous hosts, but he had an idea of what the curse looked like when it started eating away at a person's body. When their time was up, the host always knew when the fatigue caught up with them, and their bodies started to slow down.

This felt like what he imagined it would.


	10. Last the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Curse of Ymir...

###### That Week

##### Day One

The first full day of the illness was hardly changed from the night before. Pieck woke up only to drink water and go to the bathroom before she’d lay back down and fall straight back to sleep. Reiner was awake most of the three of them; he’d lay awake and talk idly with whoever was in the room or would just look out the window in silence. On the other hand, Annie slept heavily and stubbornly, only getting up when woken to take care of basic needs. 

Armin was careful to take specific notes of symptoms, and they set up a round-the-clock watch to ensure that nothing changed as they slowly got sicker. 

None of them had believed that they could somehow end up sicker, but with every passing hour, Reiner’s strength faded, and Pieck began to wake up less and less throughout the day. Even Annie, who was otherwise unchanging, had settled into slow, almost eerily still sleep.

She hadn’t slept well in the days and weeks before the illness had hit; it was no surprise to Armin that it would take her out so thoroughly. At the very least, asleep, she wasn't coughing and, at times, struggling to breathe or gather strength to hold a glass.

When she did wake during Armin’s watch, once late in the evening, she wasn't entirely lucid right away. She looked corpse-like as she pushed herself up from the bed on one arm, her hair a tangled curtain around her face, and her skin ashen. 

Armin moved quickly to her side, prepared to help her if her strength were to give up, but she remained upright. He took a glass off the end table and filled it with water while she caught her bearings. 

Even like this, when she was squinting against the light of the late summer evening and looking altogether miserable, the magnetism was back.

“Here, Annie, you should drink something,” he said carefully, “it’ll help.”

Annie nodded, but when she took the glass, she swayed with fatigue. Armin sat down on the edge of her bed, wrapped his arm around her back and kept her upright.

“Thanks-” she mumbled, and her cheeks tinted pink as she let him support her. Like Reiner and Pieck had been earlier that day, she was holding her glass with both hands and taking careful sips like her arms were too tired to support the weight of her glass.

“How are you feeling?”

She just shook her head, handed her glass back to him, and said a simple, “exhausted.”

Armin set the glass behind him, but he kept his arm around her to keep her up. He could feel her breathing against his arm and the warmth of her body through their clothes and was reluctant to release that. She was alive, she wasn't locked away in a crystal, and he wanted to force his brain to feel that logic, to see that reality. If he let go of her and saw her lying stone still again, he worried he’d see the girl he’d visited for four years locked in a basement.

“Reiner and Pieck have said the same thing,” Armin responded, glancing towards where the two of them were resting.

“It’s the curse, then?” she asked, her voice entirely unreadable. 

“It looks like it might be; we have no record of it hitting so hard in the past, but…”

“Most titan shifters from Marley don’t see the end of their term,” she said, resting her head on his collar and breathing deeply, “and with the actual titan’s gone, everything could be different.”

“That’s the worry, yeah,”

Annie hummed, her eyes fluttering closed and her body growing heavy against him. Before he could try to move her to lay down, she said something he only barely caught as she began to drift off again, “I’d started to believe we had more time.”

When the words registered after he’d settled her down and surrendered her warmth to the sheets and blankets of her bed, his chest clenched, not just Annie, all three of them, had been robbed of something that Armin hadn’t realized he’d taken for granted until now; the ability to grow up. Their futures. 

Marley had taken childhoods from the Warriors for the sake of earning the greatest honour the Eldian’s could achieve in the Military, only to be rewarded with the theft of their futures too.

##### Day Three

Connie was asked to keep an eye on them for the morning of the third day and would switch out with Karina at lunch. 

Through the whole second day, things had stayed much the same as the first, though Reiner had briefly taken a turn for the worst and caught up with the girls in terms of fatigue. There was no way to know if they’d pull through it; by all accounts, the Curse would see these days as the Warriors final days, but on the third, the trio stopped getting worse. Instead, they just seemed to have plateaued for the moment, which was a welcome reprieve for everyone. 

They still slept most of the day, and it didn’t take long for Pieck and Reiner to follow Annie’s lead and remain asleep for upwards of 16 hours a day without interruption. When they were awake, it was only for a couple of hours at most before they’d return to sleep again and go completely still.

If he weren’t so worried, he’d be bored. Through the entire morning, Pieck had only woken up for 30 minutes just as Connie took over from Jean. Reiner had woken up too, briefly, for water and bland crackers, but he knocked right back out before holding more than a minute-long conversation.

Connie was pretty sure none of them would wake up again before he let Karina take over, but to his surprise, Annie had woken up. She was visibly more lucid than she had been since the carriage ride back from the monument.

He stood to get her water, something they’d all formed a habit to do every time one of them woke up. With how unwell they’ve been, dehydration was the last thing they needed. 

“How are you?” he carefully asked as he handed her the glass and stood back. 

She took a sip before answering, “unwell, I imagine.”

Connie laughed at that, “well, you look unwell and have been sleeping for at least 15 hours straight.”

“Thanks?” 

“I mean it in the best way possible, of course, you look unwell but in a very you way,” 

Annie actually looked up at him when he said that, “should I take that as a compliment?” 

“Yes,” he responded, grinning, “if I was in your position, I think I’d look like a recently dug-up corpse.”

She let out an amused breath at that and took another sip, “good thing I haven’t gotten that unwell yet.”

“If you do, I’ll be sure to keep it to myself until you recover,” 

Her hand paused for a moment, mid-sip, as he said that. He could see the doubt cross her expression like she didn’t see herself getting through this.

“You can’t believe you’re going to die; we don’t know for sure yet! Remember after the founding titan died, before we all went home? Armin said there was no way to know how this would go because it seemed like the curse may have died back then,” Connie tried, “it’s not impossible.”

“It’s pretty close,” Annie said, leaning back against the headboard and looking outside, “those who inherit one of the titans, they don’t live past the 13 years the curse gives them.”

“I want to believe there’s a chance,”

She said nothing for a long moment and didn’t look back at him before she nodded and said a soft, “me too.”

He was satisfied, even if it was only that. If she was hoping or trying to believe in a chance, that was enough. Even if it were hopeless, Connie wouldn’t believe they were going to die until they were dead.

“Remember, back when we went out for dinner, and I asked you to show me how to help Reiner?” 

Annie looked back at him, puzzled, “yeah, I remember.”

“When this is over, and the two of you are back on your feet, I want you to teach me,” he said as firmly as he could manage, but he wasn't able to resist smiling.

“I don’t-”

“What if… what if something happens to you? Or you’re out with Hitch or Armin?” He tried, “I don’t want to feel useless, and we all know you aren’t sleeping well as is. I can help; we all can if you let us.”

Annie went silent for a long moment, staring at him with an intensity that used to intimidate Connie before he knew it meant she was thinking.

He continued, “just start with helping me understand, and then go from there? I only want to help, and if anything, all of this is proof that you’re not indestructible. You haven’t been awake while he was at all since you got sick.”

“Fine,” she responded, looking back out the window, “if we don’t die, then I’ll do it.”

Connie smiled and went back to sit on his chair, “thank you.”

“Is that the only reason?” Annie asked.

“I just want to be a good friend, and this is what friends do,” he said simply. 

They’d all seen the way Annie had looked exhausted in the days before they went to the monument. Connie didn’t know what kept her from sleep, but the stress of keeping Reiner’s mind together couldn’t be helping.

Somehow, after everything that had happened between them, they’d become friends again. Connie had always liked Reiner; the two of them had a prank streak on some of the 104th class and had placed bets on every hand-to-hand sparring partnership during training. They’d stayed up late and talked about who of their small circle would win in which matchups and had laughed hard enough when they got to Armin and Bertholdt that they were worried they’d be reprimanded. 

Technically, Connie still owed Reiner for the Annie vs. Eren fight that he’d bet two bread rolls would go to Eren. When Eren had gotten entirely destroyed by Annie in that fight, Connie had hoped that Reiner had forgotten and managed to avoid bringing it up until they graduated. 

Now he knows, of course, that Reiner had not disclosed that he had an unfair advantage that allowed him insider knowledge of Annie’s terrifying skill in hand-to-hand. If it ever came up again, Connie was ready to challenge the legitimacy of that bet now that this piece of information was out.

##### Day Four

For the first time since they’d gotten sick, the three of them found themselves awake at the same time. With how little they’d been awake at all and how briefly they managed to stay conscious for, it wasn't totally surprising that they’d not overlapped. 

It was more surprising to find that they were all awake at once. 

It was dark, and someone on the other side of the room was snoring softly. Annie could hear it, and in the dim candlelight, she managed to pick out Jean dozing on a chair beside the door. 

She had no concept of time anymore; the only clear thing was that it was night, and cicadas were still singing outside in the courtyard. The sound was paired with the soft rustling of leaves in the summer breeze, and after a moment of that alone, the sound of sheets moving came from the mattress on the floor between the two beds. 

Reiner slept there, having taken the makeshift bed so that Pieck would sleep in the real thing on a frame in his. 

When she managed to work up the strength to look over at him, she met his strikingly blue eyes in the candlelight. 

“You’re awake,” he whispered as if to avoid waking Jean.

“So are you,” she responded dryly, which earned her a chuckle that quickly turned to a cough.

Instinctively, she looked over towards where Pieck was lying but was surprised to see her sitting up leaning against the headboard. She looked tired in a way no living person should be.

“I was starting to think I wouldn’t see the two of you awake again,” Pieck said, and there was a smile in her voice, but her tone remained grim. 

Reiner nodded, shifting to sit up as he spoke, “it would’ve been the last cruelty Marley could’ve dealt to us.”

“We’ve always resisted their cruelties; it only fits we deny them this last one,” Pieck added softly.

The words silenced them all as they let the reality of their situation hit them all in waves. Annie felt the weight of it settle in her gut and crush her lungs all at once as she looked out the window to avoid looking at them both.

Before Eren died, she’d kept them all at arm’s length to focus on getting home and avoiding the grief of losing them in battle. They all knew the risks, and Marcel’s death had only solidified her belief that she didn’t need friends; she just needed to survive until she got back to her father.

But Eren had shown her, indirectly, that she valued the relationships she’d attempted to block and that she would instead go down with the people she’d been raised alongside than live the rest of her short days in peace. Now, faced with those final days, she realized that two years hadn’t been enough. She was still learning to let herself be loved and to love others. 

“I’m sorry, both of you,” Reiner started, breaking the melancholy silence, “I’ve been a bad comrade, and I’ve been a worse friend.”

“You’ve been the best you can be, given the circumstances,” Pieck assured him, “I’m glad to call you a friend.”

Annie nodded, keeping her eyes downcast and struggling with the words to say she didn’t hate him. That after all the times she’d thought about killing him, after all of their fights and her attempts to challenge his authority, she’d never hated him. Through all of it, he’d been protecting Bertholdt and her at the cost of his own mind.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Pieck said, “we’ll see each other again, I believe that.” 

Before Annie could say anything, her breath had left her as she struggled to breathe deep enough, and coughs wracked her for a moment. Jean stirred but didn’t wake. 

When the fit passed, she managed a soft, “I wouldn’t have changed anything. If I had to do it again, I know I wouldn’t change it.”

“Me neither, I think,” Pieck agreed softly, “I’m glad to have known you and even the others. I’m glad to have supported my father, too. Even at the cost of my life.”

Reiner didn’t agree for a long moment, and Annie didn’t need to wonder what he was thinking about before he said, “I have a lot of regrets, but meeting the Warriors was not one of them. Joining forces with the 104th class isn’t either, despite everything.”

Annie thought of Armin then, and in spite of the four years she spent in near-total isolation, she couldn’t regret meeting him. Even Jean, Connie, Mikasa, and everyone who wasn't here. 

Paradis had shown her something she didn’t have at home, and for the first time, the three of them were treated like equals, not lessers. They weren’t looked down on, and they were shown genuine friendship that wasn't created out of a desperate need to be comforted.

The silence of the night stretched between them for a long moment, with the only sound inside their room being the quiet flickering of the dim oil lamp burning on the end table between them. There was a comfort in the silence, one that Annie hadn’t appreciated before and had come to take for granted when with Pieck and Reiner.

In the whole world, there were only two people she could find this level of comfort with. After a life of pain and fear, the three of them had pulled through the constant losses and found themselves standing on the other side, scarred and bruised. They’d pulled through in place of people the deemed worthier, in place of people who’d been stronger, who’d been kinder. 

“It’s lonely,” Annie said after a long silence, “I didn’t notice before, but I think we’ve always been alone. Even when we were raised together, I never understood how to be close to you.”

The two of them looked away, and she knew they understood. They spent so long playing parts, being used, and expecting to die, that they’d never given each other the chance to know more. Marley had robbed them of their ability to understand friendship, and it had taken death for them to understand the fundamental loss they’d unknowingly suffered. 

There was nothing heroic or honourable about dying for the Marleyan Military.

“I think they’re waiting for us,” Reiner said, “Marcel, Zeke, Porco and Bertholdt. Somewhere, they’re waiting for us to rest with them. Without everything else that kept us blind before.”

Pieck smiled, but it quivered, and tears had begun to well in her eyes, “I think so too. There is a lot I would like to say to them still,”

“I hope so,” Annie added, but her voice broke, and she had to take a breath to keep from tears.

Bertholdt had died before she’d even understood that she’d miss him if he were gone. He’d been everything Reiner and Annie hadn’t been, he’d been brave, and he’d been loyal, and he hadn’t faltered where they had. It wasn't until he was gone that Annie had realized she hadn’t really known him, not like she’d come to know Reiner. 

She didn’t know what he did when he had spare time, she didn’t know what his favourite food was, and she didn’t know his father like she’d come to know Karina. In the end, he’d died alone and afraid before she’d ever truly understood him.

For a moment, they sat in their grief alone until Reiner spoke and broke the silence, “I don’t want to go alone,” he said, as he shuffled the pillows and sheets around him. When he stilled, there was space on both sides of him to narrowly fit three people onto the small mattress, “we shouldn’t be alone.”

Pieck smiled and tossed him her pillow, “you’re right; it’ll be more comfortable together anyway.”

She moved without hesitation, sliding from her bed and coming to rest on Reiner’s left side. 

“You’ll be too warm,” Annie complained, but she tossed her pillow down at his head with the little strength she could muster.

It landed straight on his face, but by the time he pulled it off to complain back, she had carefully moved to come to lay on his other side. The transition from her bed to his was unsteady and weak, but she managed to get into a comfortable position before the rest of her strength had given out on her. 

She rested her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her securely. Usually, she’d tell him off for restricting her, but she was too tired to move even in her sleep, and the comfort was welcome. 

“I love you both,” Annie said softly, “if there is nothing after this, I need to at least thank you for that.”

“Thank us for loving us?” Reiner teased, but his arm tightened around her, and Pieck reached over to gently brush her hair back, “I love you both too,”

Pieck smiled, too weak to raise her head to look at them both in the eye, but her hand remained in Annie’s hair for a moment, “of course I love you two,” she said warmly, “I am glad for our little family, even if we lost them too early.”

Despite everything, Annie couldn’t find the strength in her to cry. 

She’d known this was coming; they all had. There was an inevitability to their expiry that hadn’t scared her as a child because 13 years had seemed impossibly long back then. When she was 11, the time she had left was longer than the time she’d had up until that point. The irony was that the longer she’d been alive, the more she’d wanted more time. 

Every year spent in the crystal; she’d wanted more time. She’d wanted to go home to her father and never leave him again.

Annie had never loved anyone more than her father, but she’d never found the words to tell him that. She was everything she was because of him, the good and the bad, but without him, she’d have nothing. They’d needed each other in a way neither of them had believed they’d needed anyone. Both of them had no one else, she’d been an orphan, and he’d been a man with no one left. 

She hoped she’d get the chance to apologize to him for that before the exhaust took over, and she fell asleep and didn’t wake back up.

##### Day Ten

It only got worse before it got better. 

But it got better.

Armin had watched as the three of them would writhe with the desperation to breathe as their lungs grew too weak to keep them from starving for air. By the end of the fourth day, Karina, Mr. Leonhardt and Mr. Finger had all settled in their children’s room and prepared for the worst. 

With each passing hour that they didn’t wake up, the hope that they would live had begun to fade and, eventually, even Connie had seemed to believe they’d never pull through this.

The hope had been an unfounded one. No one lived the curse; there was no record of any previous titan shifter making it past the 13-year expiry they were given. There was no basis for them to have ever believed that somehow the curse would be gone now, and Armin had found himself counting the months until his own curse would catch up on him.

And then, they woke up on the 8th day. Weak, pale and a little groggy, but they’d woken up. Best of all, they were hungry and had all managed to finish the thick brothy soup Karina had suggested. 

Armin would have cried the first time he entered that day and was met with Annie sitting up in bed with a tea in her hands, _smiling_ at him.

By the tenth day, they were all itching to leave the room they’d been confined to as they’d waited to die. They could all see it, even if the trio didn’t say it in those words. Armin would watch as Annie stared out at the courtyard through the whole morning, and even Reiner had moved to sit on her bed to catch the breeze that came through the open window. 

It was Connie that first broke the silence on the matter as he left their room to find the rest of them standing just outside in the hall, “feels a bit cruel to keep them all caged up, no?” 

“Yeah, not to mention depressing,” Jean agreed, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. 

“It might do them some good…” Armin hummed, “but there’s no way to know if they’re actually out the other side of it, or if this is just the final burst of strength before they…” 

“Well, either way, I’d rather die in a nice warm garden than trapped in that depressing room,” Connie challenged. 

Armin knew he was right, but the logistics would be challenging to manage. Getting three exhausted and ten days bedridden Warriors downstairs was going to be a challenge, even if they carried them all down one at a time.

“It won’t be impossible,” Mikasa interjected gently, but it still startled the three boys who’d nearly forgotten she was standing against the wall next to the door. She was looking at Armin, “it’s the kinder answer, however impractical it is.”

“Besides, we’ve carried the weight of those three through worse -- literally. If me and Jean could get Reiner up into that ship when he was dead weight between us, then we can get him down a single flight of stairs when he’s conscious. Probably,” Connie added. He moved his hand to high-five Jean, but Jean just gave him a withering look until Connie scowled and dropped his hand.

It took little convincing to bring the three of them downstairs after that, and it wasn't as hard as they’d prepared for it to be. The three of them had a surprising amount of strength to them; Annie only leaned on Mikasa for strength on the way down the stairs and only needed the stability from there and onward. Jean and Connie both prepared to help Reiner, but he managed to keep himself from wearing out with only the railing and some mildly sarcastic cheering on from Connie and Jean. Pieck requested the help of a crutch, much like the one they’d seen her lean on in Marley, and Armin only needed to make sure she got down the stairs without falling. 

In the end, the worry was worth it. 

Next to him, Pieck sighed as they stepped into the sunlight, her face tilted to the sky and a smile clear on her lips. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to, for this alone, it had been worth it for all of them.

Armin hadn’t realized how oppressive the guest wing had become until they settled into benches and patio swing of the courtyard. It was still enclosed, and it wasn't hard to pick out the room that they’d spent the last ten days in.

He sat next to Annie on the patio swing as they took in the fresh air and change in scenery. Annie’s feet could only just meet the stone path of the garden, and she was idly pushing the swing back and letting it rock forward in small increments with the toe of her shoes. The movement was so small it could almost be mistaken for unintentional if she wasn't stopping it from swinging too far forward where her feet could no longer reach. 

Connie must have sent for snacks; as everyone was getting settled, some of the house staff brought out trays piled in cookies, biscuits and scones, along with a tray of tea. 

“We’re lucky,” Pieck said as Mikasa helped her settle in a chair at the patio table, “this late in the summer, I was worried it would be raining.”

“We would’ve had to sit under some cover and watch the rain or something,” Connie agreed, “and then it would’ve just gotten you _more_ sick.”

She smiled at that, “I wouldn’t think that’s possible,”

“I’ve learned that it’s best not to challenge fate,” Connie shrugged, leaning over the table to start filling up a napkin with cookies as Jean and Mikasa sat down at the patio table as well.

Reiner was sitting behind them on a heavily cushioned garden bench that was more couch than outdoor furniture and was parallel to the swing that Annie and Armin shared. Like this, things could almost be mistaken for normal. If they pretended not to hear the occasional moments of laboured breathing as they settled after the journey down and ignored the coughing into handkerchiefs or sleeves, they could pretend that nothing was amiss as they sat down to enjoy a garden picnic in the palace courtyard.

It was the perfect day too, the late afternoon sun was low and warm over the courtyard, but the breeze kept the temperature comfortable. When the bushes and flowers were rustled, the smell of the probably expensive flowers would mix with the fresh cookies and gentle camomile tea. It was almost hypnotic in the way the entire group found their anxieties soothed and their minds distracted as they enjoyed their first moments of peace in the hurricane of the last ten days.

At first, Armin didn’t realize that Annie had stopped gently rocking the swing while a lively discussion picked up in the centre of the stone patio. It wasn't until she shifted to rest her head on his shoulder that he noticed any change at all. Her movements had been slow and natural, so natural that it hadn’t even surprised him to find her head settled gently on him. 

She didn’t say anything; neither of them did as they settled into the new position and found a comfortable balance to rest like this. After a few moments of settling into the still comfort of the moment, he let his feet come to rest on the stone and began to push the swing just as gently as she had before him. 

As the conversation at the table momentarily settled, Armin glanced towards the table, only to be met with Pieck’s knowing smile. She held a teacup to her lips, but when they locked eyes, she playfully raised it to him just a tad. 

Somehow he got the feeling she was urging him to talk to her, but he could only pull his gaze away from her. 

Connie had piled a napkin as high as he safely could with cookies and scones but was keeping them balanced with his chin on the top of the precarious pile as he carefully stepped towards the bench. His entire focus was on the pile, and when he eventually turned to sit down, he could only narrowly dodge the pillow that took up half of the free cushion next to Reiner. Even while he maneuvered to avoid it, he narrowly avoided toppling the whole pile onto both of them and had to sit perfectly still for a couple of seconds to assure himself that they wouldn’t be wasted to the crevasse of the couch.

Everyone watched the precarious maneuver with raised eyebrows and vague amusement, but only Jean, who had turned 180 degrees in his chair to face Reiner and Connie, said anything.

“You could’ve made multiple trips, idiot,” 

“I could’ve, but that would’ve been a waste of energy,” Connie retorted, still attempting to situate himself with the pile only stabilized by his chin.

Jean scoffed, “as if this isn’t?”

Connie ignored the second comment, and looked up at Reiner, still crouched over his cookies, his mouth unable to completely form words with the cookies restricting the movement of his chin, and said, “Want any?”

That managed to get a laugh out of Reiner and an eye roll from Jean, “Here, I thought you’d taken that whole pile for yourself.”

“Not all of us are selfish, _Jean-Boy_ ,” Connie fired back, finally able to settle the napkin safely on his lap.

Without even looking back at Reiner, he handed the other man a cookie and a scone while he sorted through the pile to find a jam cookie for himself. The moment settled again as the conversation flowed naturally between moments of calm and comfortable quiet.

Connie made to start speaking again, looking towards Reiner with his mouth partially agape and midway through a syllable when he cut himself off and said, “you have a crumb, you slob,” he said, picking a crumb from the stubble on Reiner’s chin, before placing it into Reiner’s hand as if he were proving his statement. For a moment, their eyes met before Connie continued with, “you and Annie both, first with the pie, now the scone! Is it a Marley thing?”

Before he could draw his hand back to grab his third jam cookie, Reiner dramatically clasped both hands on Connie’s shoulders -- startling him before continuing with an exaggerated, “what would I ever do without you?”

Connie scowled at him and knocked one of the hands away, “you’re a grown man!”

They both laughed, hard enough to make Reiner cough into his arm; his other hand still rested on Connie’s shoulder. Before they even had the chance to catch their breath and settle back down, Jean had turned to the table to grab a cookie, only to whip back around so fast he almost toppled the chair over.

“You took all the jam cookies, you gremlin!” 

“That’s a baseless accusation!” Connie shot straight back without a second to hesitate, but Armin could see even from where he sat that Connie was closing the napkin around a suspiciously large number of jam cookies. At his side, Annie let out an amused breath and was watching with her head only partially tilted from where it still rested.

The two of them bickered back and forth, giving Reiner the briefest of windows to sneak another cookie from the napkin in Connie’s hand and Armin the opportunity to look back towards Pieck. She was always watching, and Armin caught as she watched the chaos before her with another knowing smile before sensing Armin’s eye and looking towards him again.

Much like the first time, she smiled at him, but this time she only dipped her head before going back to a quiet conversation with Mikasa.


	11. There Was Something, and There Was Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pieck is always watching

###### A Week Later

Historia called a semi-urgent meeting between herself, Levi, Annie and Reiner. Technically, everyone else was invited, but Jean, Connie and Armin hadn’t had lunch yet, so they decided not to go. Before they knew that Pieck was meant to attend, they asked her if she wanted to come with them, and she had accepted without hesitation. 

It was pretty clear when they realized their mistake on the way to the cafe that Pieck had already known and had accepted the invitation anyway. She’d bounced back quicker than Annie and Reiner had, so she’d claimed just to be itching for a walk after so long of being “babied” by everyone around them.

When she settled down at the table, still fresh on her legs after the curse had run its course, she looked a little relieved to be off her feet.

“Did you not want to attend the meeting or something, Pieck?” Jean asked as he sat down across from her. 

She shook her head and rested her chin in her hand as she partially leaned on the table, “Annie and Reiner are more than capable of handling it and telling me what I need to know after it’s over,” she said simply, “I’m sure I know what they’re going to discuss anyway. I’m sure Annie’s already figured it out too, but Reiner needs to talk things out a bit before he completely understands them. It’s what makes him good at teamwork,”

“You’re that confident that you know?” Connie asked, “I knew you were smart, but…”

“The fact that the Warriors need to be involved in a discussion directly with the queen is answer enough,” she shrugged, smiling as she spoke despite the topic, “the Marleyan Military is finally sending representatives to discuss what they will claim is a _breach of agreement_ in either kidnapping the three of us, or harbouring us. All we need to do is find a way to appease them while still getting what is best for us, and that shouldn’t be too hard while Paradis still has the upper hand.”

“While Paradis still has the upper hand?” Armin repeated, triggering a confused glance between Jean and Connie.

Pieck just met his eyes with her trademark dreamy smile before she continued, “we didn’t come to lunch to talk about such boring things,” she said, turning to the glass of water the server brought while they talked, “no need to waste our time with the desperate efforts of a country on its knees.”

Armin wanted to disagree and ask her what she meant, but she’d already waved the waiter down to place the order. It was one thing to talk about the military affairs in a cafe during normal business hours; it was another thing entirely to do it in front of the waitress. 

By the time the waitress had left to get their food, she’d changed the conversation entirely, “I’ve been meaning to ask Armin, have you and Annie spoken yet?”

“No? Did she need to speak with me? Has something happened?”

The surprise in his tone got a small amused laugh out of Pieck, who shook her head, “nothing like that,” she said through her smile, “I saw you two at the garden when we were recovering; I was wondering if you two had spoken while she was sick and I was sleeping.”

“Oh- uh-” he tried, his mind reeling and heat flooding his cheeks and ears, “no, we haven’t talked about… not since before.”

Pieck hummed, contemplative, before speaking, “you can’t keep a girl waiting; that’s not good manners, Armin,” she said, leaning back so the waitress could set their food and teas down, “I’m sure she doesn’t even understand that you weren’t saying it in the heat of the Rumbling.”

“I just haven’t- there hasn’t been a good time,” Armin managed, meekly and only half true.

In reality, there had been a hundred chances since the end of the Rumbling. He could have told her before leaving Marley the first time; when he knew she hadn’t understood, he could have helped her too. He could have hugged her every time he welcomed her to Paradis or told her any moment they had alone. That day they were coming back from dinner, he could have asked her to talk in private. There were a hundred chances to ask Annie if she wanted to be… whatever they would be to each other. 

“She’s waiting for you, Armin,” Pieck said in a hum.

Connie finally took the opportunity to speak, “she’s right, and haven’t you been waiting for her for like… four years before you saw her again? What’s the hold-up?”

“I wouldn’t be so quick to judge, Connie; you might find yourself a hypocrite,” Pieck smiled at him so sweetly that for a moment, it was like no one registered what she said.

“A- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, confused, and turned to Jean, “am I just stupid?”

“Yes,” Jean said, but he looked just as confused, “but I don’t usually have any idea what she’s saying.”

Pieck’s smile only grew, “oh, I’m sorry; I thought that you were pretending not to notice to get him to confess first, my mistake,” 

“Him to confess?” Connie repeated.

“Reiner, of course,” Pieck said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “unless you’ve been picking the crumbs out of the stubble of every man you’ve met?” 

Armin was pretty sure he’d never seen Connie go so red before stammering a baffled, “what-? We’re just friends-” just as Jean choked on his water.

“You like Reiner?” He asked through his coughs.

“I don’t- I mean I do but not like- I don’t know what she’s talking about,”

“Have I said something strange?” She asked, but Armin was confident she knew exactly what she was doing, “I’m sorry,”

Jean continued as if he hadn’t heard Pieck at all, “you’re into men like that?”

“I mean- I don’t know. I’ve never really had the time to _think_ about it before-”

“It’s cool if you are; I just always thought you were into Sasha,”

“No! She was like a sister,” Connie said immediately, “and I don’t know if I- I mean I never really-”

“You have time now,” Pieck added, “both of you do. There’s a lot you can do with this time.”

Armin saw the way she just picked up her teacup and continued to sip as if she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell onto the table. As Connie shifted his attention to the tablecloth and the red subsided from his cheeks, Armin realized that he was actually _thinking_ about it, and he had a feeling that this had been why Pieck didn’t want to go to the meeting today.

She was looking out for Annie and Reiner, who she knew weren’t going to put themselves out there like that. All this time, they’d still put the blame on themselves for too much to let themselves believe they could ever be truly forgiven, let alone loved.

They had time now, in a way he knew that Pieck had fully intended it to mean. Before they’d made it through the Curse, they’d been out of time. There was no better place to start than at the beginning of a new and unpredicted future the Warriors had been granted. 

Armin made a note to thank Pieck for being so watchful.


	12. Mouth Full of White Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marleyan officials arrive.
> 
> (IMPORTANT NOTE: This chapter was written before the events of chapter 137)

###### The Next Day

Armin, Connie and Jean were sent to receive the Marleyan representatives at the harbour early on their arrival date. The entire carriage ride there was quiet and sleepy, with little conversation between the three men who hadn’t quite woken up yet. 

As the carriage rode up towards the water, it brought the large Marleyan ship into view and casting the boys in its shadow. 

“This was a lot more pleasant when we were anticipating Annie and Reiner,” Jean said in a low groan, glaring out the curtained windows.

“Yeah, definitely gave us something to look forward to,” Armin agreed.

“Now it’s just…” Connie gestured with his hands incoherently, “bleh.”

“What does that even mean?” Jean asked.

“It means exactly what I said,”

“You’re an idiot,” 

Connie went to respond, but Armin cut him off by opening the carriage door and stepping out into the comfortably cool morning breeze off the sea. The ship was still preparing for the representatives and crew to disembark, so the gangplank was only being lowered as the trio stood waiting for their arrival.

“Why did they have to arrive so early anyway? Wouldn’t they have had to leave at some ridiculous time before the sun came up?” Connie asked, looking to where the sun had only just crested over the horizon. 

“They wanted to spend the whole day discussing the situation and refuting the claims of an assassination attempt,” Armin shrugged, “and Commander Levi said something about a change in circumstance, but he didn’t elaborate.”

“Of course he didn’t,” Jean grumbled.

They fell into silence as the first few people started to disembark from the ship, Koslow among them, and the first three representatives to approach them.

“Welcome back to Paradis,” Armin said, shaking his hand as he drew closer. Sometimes Armin surprised even himself with how diplomatic he could stay despite the newly added baggage of this man trying to _kill_ the Warriors.

“Thank you for accommodating our request for an early arrival,” he said as he shook the hands of Jean and Connie.

For their part, Armin could tell that the duo was struggling with keeping as professional as he’d done it. Koslow either didn’t notice or didn’t care, but when he drew his hand back from Jean’s, he flexed it as it’d just been squeezed too hard.

“Is this all of you that will be joining us in returning to the Palace?” Armin asked, glancing behind Koslow and the two that flanked him.

“Actually, no, there’s one other,”

Just as he said it, someone else had begun the walk down the gangplank with another man in a suit flanking his left. His uniform alone had sent a chill through Armin, but it was the sudden recognition that had startled Connie and Jean enough to break their facade and shout.

\--

Gabi and Falco had gotten bored of the easy, laid-back life that existed in Paradis, and it hadn’t taken them long to beg Reiner to help them keep training. Annie had known it wasn't something that Queen Historia and the rest of the Paradis group would understand, but denying the kids had already begun to wear on all three Warriors.

The three of them spent the morning before the meeting with the kids in the courtyard. Objectively, it was not a good place for training, but there was nowhere else for the time being and going too far from the palace risked being late for the early meeting. Despite the less-than-stellar conditions, all five of them managed to wake themselves up through their training and keep up the muscles that the slow, easy way of life would soon risk them losing.

By the time they made it back upstairs to change from their workout clothes to their Marleyan Warrior Unit uniforms, they were running later than they’d had any intention to.

“It’s good to see that they’re still so spirited,” Pieck said as she pulled her hair from the neck of her jacket, “a lot happened before; I worried they’d end up a bit more like us.”

“That would take longer,” Reiner said, lightly, but Annie didn’t miss the slight tension in his voice. 

Pieck nodded, humming a soft agreement, “I think you’re right,”

Annie settled onto the bed to pull on her boots and pushed her bangs from her eyes as they spoke. She pulled her hair up into a bun carefully to keep it off her face and neck, just as Pieck pulled hers into a low ponytail. With the Marleyan Military on the way, the meeting would be anything but casual, and she watched as Reiner fiddled with the breast pocket on his trench coat. 

They left shortly after that, having rushed through the majority of their getting ready to avoid being the last to arrive.

Though the walk down the guest wing hall wasn't in any way urgent, Annie could tell that she wasn't the only one who wasn't particularly looking forward to this meeting. 

As they approached the stairs, the sound of thundering footsteps barreling up towards them caused all three of them to raise their guard and stop walking instinctively. 

All three of them dropped their guard as they heard the distinct sound of someone missing a step, falling, and immediately crying out in surprise before they kept going at a noticeably slower pace. Connie and Jean were at the top of the staircase only moments later, out of breath and sweating, Connie favouring one leg noticeably. 

Reiner laughed at the sight of the two of them, “were we that late? What’s-” and then the three of them noticed their expressions, and he cut himself off. His tone was serious when he spoke again, “what happened?”

“Nothing- well- nothing _happened_ but-” Connie stammered, out of breath and white as a sheet.

Jean picked up where he left off, “don’t go to the meeting; you don’t want to go to the meeting,”

“We don’t want to go to the meeting?” Pieck repeated, “that’s a strange request, isn’t this meeting, in part, about our leaving Marley without warning?” 

“That hasn’t changed yet, but trust me, you should stay up here,” Jean repeated, his tone entirely stone-faced and his eyes hardened. He looked angry in a way Annie hadn’t seen since he was attempting to break into her crystal.

Even during the Rumbling, it had been melancholy on his expression; here, it was pure rage.

“We know the Marleyan Military best,” Annie said, shifting to rest her hand on her hip.

Reiner nodded and added, “if they’re going to be talking about us, then we should at least be there to make sure they don’t lie.”

“Yeah- we would rather that too but-” Connie looked at Jean, and there was something frantic about the expression they passed.

Jean groaned and shook his head, “if you’re going to go anyway, we can’t stop you, but we _did_ warn you.” 

Annie couldn’t have imagined what would be so bad that either of them had felt the need to sprint up the stairs to stop them. There was nothing the Marleyan Military could do, at this point, to surprise them.

The three of them lead the way down to the large conference/war room that played host to every meeting Marley has ever officially had on Paradis soil. The door was closed but not latched entirely, and as Reiner opened the door, he didn’t need to turn the handle to push his way inside. He only made it to the threshold before freezing entirely in his steps and blocking the entrance. 

His hesitance turned to an urgent sidestep into the room, thus finally letting the girls pass him and to see what had everyone so worked up. 

Zeke stood as they entered as if to greet them but had paused at the stricken expressions on all three of their faces. 

It had been nearly 13 years since Annie had seen Zeke and had mourned the loss of someone she’d known as something like a friend once. More than that, she had come to terms with his betrayal, as it was one of a thousand things to have changed in the four years she was trapped in the crystal. This event, however, was not something that Hitch or Armin would have known. In part, it was one of the few things she had understood in passing but never spoke of to avoid further prodding at the much deeper hurt that Pieck and Reiner harboured.

She recovered first from the initial shock but only turned to Koslow and fired a terrifying glare directly his way, “bringing Zeke is not going to sway us to return to Marley,” she said in an even tone.

“It’s good to see you, Leonhardt; I hear Paradis has treated you well,” the man started, “no, I doubt you’d have any desire to return to Marley.”

Pieck recovered next, the mix of horror and acute devastation making way for her calculating and calm expression as she crossed the room and settled carefully into her chair. She sat opposite Zeke, and Annie followed to sit on Pieck’s left. Unsurprisingly, it was Reiner who recovered last, perpetually unable to keep as calculated as either girl was capable of, but his expression was pure venom and ice as he sat to Annie’s side. 

With the Warriors inside, Jean and Connie finally followed. As Jean settled at Reiner’s side, looking somewhere between anger and stress, he said, “I told you it was better to sit this one out.”

Part of Annie wished they had.

\--

Armin watched the three of them enter and frantically caught Connie’s eye through the door. All Connie could manage was a pathetic shrug, but part of Armin had known there would be no stopping them.

It was Pieck whose horror was unfiltered by anger before she gathered herself, but Reiner’s shock was the one that shifted into a lethal rage. Annie, who’d at least not seen him for six years but more likely since they left, to begin with, only startled for a moment before she caught her breath. Regardless, as the trio entered and took their seats, Armin glanced at Mikasa who’s expressions was grim. 

Mikasa had taken the shock about as well as he’d expected; she’d wanted to kill him. 

They all had, though Levi and Mikasa most of all, but for now, they seemed content to watch him squirm. Armin didn’t yet understand why or how Zeke was here, but he didn’t envy the man for facing the wrath of two Ackerman’s and three fully trained Warriors. Even as talented as he apparently was, he would stand no chance against the wrath of two groups of highly skilled and professionally trained soldiers. 

“They arrived,” Levi started, leaning forward in his chair and glaring between Zeke and Koslow, “now is a good a time as any to start talking and explain to us how you have a deadman here,”

Koslow, ever frustrating to get information out, took a long sip of his water before speaking, “we simply found him,” he said, “during the recovery and search for survivors in Liberio, he was wandering around in the rubble confused. We apprehended him,”

“Did the three of you know about this?” Levi asked though it was very clearly rhetorical. Their faces alone answered enough.

“No, this finding was left out of our briefings entirely,” Pieck responded. 

“We thought it was best to avoid causing a disturbance for a man we only had the intention to apprehend,” Koslow said as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

Reiner was only looking at Zeke, who sat straight up and unbothered but looked withered in a way he hadn’t the last time any of them had really seen him. Armin was pretty sure that Reiner would say something to Zeke, shout or get angry or something, but he remained lethal in his silence.

All three warriors did unless they were spoken to, and something about it felt uncanny and wrong.

“Well, we didn’t agree to him being present in this meeting,” Historia challenged, “with all that he’s done to those of Paradis and even people at this table, it seems in poor taste to have him here, no?”

“I think the same may be very well said about at least Leonhardt and Braun under that assumption,” Koslow continued without even a second. Like he’d prepared for this, “it shouldn’t be much of a conflict of interest; he’s come around.”

Armin didn’t know Zeke, but there was something about the vacancy in his eyes that set him on edge. He’d seen Zeke in Paths, and it had been the same there. It wasn't that he’d come around; it was that he had entirely given up. Either it was the trauma of being in his brother's mind during the Rumbling or the guilt of having betrayed everyone he was ever close to, or maybe it wasn't either of those things, and Zeke had just gone mad. Whatever it was, Zeke’s spirit had been crushed beneath the weight of it. 

“We will postpone the conversation about the Warriors,” Historia said, and when he looked like he’d challenge her, she cut him off, “that wasn't a request, we will postpone it until tomorrow after we have all discussed how we will go forward. Unless there is anything urgent that needs to be handled _today_ , please go sit in the library at the end of the hall until I can send for someone to take you to where you’ll be saying.”

She stood as she spoke and gestured for the group of outraged officials to leave the room. She didn’t let them argue her point, and they were shown where to go by a couple members of the Military Police stationed at the door. Before she fully left the room to speak with some of her staff, she apologetically smiled back at the group and made a silent promise to return when she was done. 

Armin had a feeling she was sorting out an alternative place for them to stay to avoid Zeke coming into accidental contact with Gabi or _Falco_ after the hell he put them through. That, and as Armin turned his attention back to the Warriors, he realized that they weren’t much better.

As soon as Zeke was out of the room, having not said a single word to them, all three of them sagged from a tension that had built over the few minutes he sat across from them. Pieck’s calculated expression fell away into something hollowed and depressed as though an old scar had just been torn open. Reiner was ghost white, and the anger gave way to horrified shock. Unsurprisingly, Annie was the one with the smallest reaction. 

She looked livid for the final few moments he was in the room, but as he left and her friends had sagged on either side of her, her focus had shifted. The calculated rage was still there, but it was layered beneath a worry and frustration. For Annie, those two things often came hand in hand because worry meant there was nothing she could do. If it wasn't frustration, it was fear, but Armin knew that Annie didn’t fear Zeke like this.

“So what,” Connie started, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, “they just found Zeke somewhere in the middle of a flattened town and decided to lock him up until _now_? Why?”

“Something’s wrong with him,” Pieck said softly, but she kept her eyes on the centre of the table, “he’s different. Even the last time we saw him, he was still Zeke… just on the other side of the battlefield. They likely hadn’t fully believed that he would be complacent until now.”

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “he might not even be complacent; now that he wouldn’t have the Beast Titan, they could’ve scared or tortured him into submission.”

The Warriors all cringed and shifted uncomfortably at the idea. The threat of torture had loomed over them since they were still shifters, Armin had done it to Reiner himself, but since they lost the titans, it had only doubled. Now they were three walking targets with information, military secrets, relationships with both countries and the Marleyan government had reason to want them compliant.

“But why would they even want that at all? Just kill him at that point; what makes him worth the effort?” Connie asked, gesturing wildly as he always did when annoyed.

Armin knew exactly why; he had as soon as the shock of seeing Zeke had worn off. He met eyes with Levi before saying, “because he’s technically a Fritz, through his mother’s side.”

Silence spread through the already tense room like a rolling fog, but Mikasa was the one to break it, “we should probably suggest that Historia double’s her guard.”

“I handled it after seeing him when he entered,” Levi assured them, “and the kid too, we’ve tripled the guard of the nursery.”

After a second moment of silence passed, Jean turned to the Warriors, “you three have been quiet. What do you think? How should we take this?”

“As a threat,” Annie said, too calm for the words she was saying, “you’re right to double her guard.”

Reiner shook his head, “Zeke would know that they’d do that; they all would.”

“I don’t think it’s only a threat to the queen, Koslow and the Marleyan Military are pissed; our continued loyalty to them was the only thing keeping the new Internment Zone from rioting,” she met Reiner’s eye, “we knew that was a risk.”

“Don’t take the blame for something like that,” Pieck said softly, though it was almost playfully scolding before she continued, “an uprising right now would only cause more harm than good, after the first attack Eren launched in Liberio, the Eldian’s in Marley were already too devastated to pose as a worthy threat.”

As the three of them spoke, they seemed to forget that they had an audience. The mention of the original attack and subsequent battle in Liberio that resulted in the Survey Corp killing innocent civilians alone caused the others in the room to dampen a bit. That was something that they hadn’t been able to talk about since the Rumbling and avoided mentioning it on both sides. 

It was harder to explain their actions because, unlike the Warriors, they hadn’t been children, and they had known better. The guilt of it still haunted Armin’s dreams from time to time.

“Why would they use Zeke as a threat against you three? Weren’t you raised with him?” Connie asked, earning himself a sharp elbow in the ribs from Jean.

Despite it, Reiner responded with hate in his voice that was almost shocking in its honesty, “Zeke has no loyalty to anyone. Least of all us, it would seem,”

The words caused the haunted expression on Pieck’s face to turn devastated. All three of them seemed to sag with the weight of his betrayal. Though, as the silence dragged onward, a strange shift in expression crossed Annie’s face, and she glanced towards Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Connie. 

Reiner caught the movement and followed her gaze, only to pale and look at his own hands in horror. 

It wasn't until later that day, after Historia discussed the plan with the group, that Armin understood the expressions they’d shared. The betrayal of Zeke had recontextualized their own betrayal of the 104th class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (WARNING: Kinda bittersweet authors note:)  
> Thank you guys for all enjoying this so much and writing such kind comments <3  
> You've all made my day and been about the only highlight of the last two days. I lost my Nana suddenly yesterday morning and got my wisdom teeth taken out today, so I've been slowing down with editing a bit. Knowing that everyone is liking this has been a great motivator to keep going, and editing has been about the only distraction I've had from everything going on around me.
> 
> Perhaps none of you knew this, but getting notifications from the kudos and comments on these chapters has made me smile when I felt like I couldn't anymore. Thank you <3
> 
> I hope you all keep enjoying the story.


	13. Mind Like a Deadly Disease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke.

###### A Few Days Later

Zeke and the Marleyan officials who brought him were kept on a heavily guarded floor of the palace’s closest inn. The meeting about the Warriors was rescheduled and came to a stalemate that the Marleyan’s had no ground to stand on. They knew it and were only trying to make the process take as long as possible in a desperate attempt to either figure out a loophole or entirely piss off the Queen and the Scouts. 

With things moving as slowly as they were, the Scouts were forced to slow down a bit and remain in the Palace full time with their schedules almost entirely free. They needed to be able to drop everything at a moment's notice should something come up or a change in plans happens _again._

By the second full day after they first had the meeting, the first signs that the Warriors were doing worse with the news than they pretended to be, Pieck would join Armin and Levi for tea in the library still, but she was clearly grappling with the news. She spent most of her time with her father, Gabi and Falco.

Reiner seemed almost entirely fine like he’d bounced back from the upset, but Armin knew it likely was exactly the opposite. He was avoiding it to avoid what it would cause to his mind, or his mind had already begun to confuse itself to shield him. With how often Annie could be found right at his side, Armin assumed he was teetering on the edge and hadn’t yet reached the point where they secluded themselves to get through it.

Annie seemed fatigued but herself. She was annoyed, visibly, and any Marleyan official who crossed her path were subject to a terrifying glare that she saved for when she really wanted to scare someone off. 

Then, the third morning after Zeke’s arrival and by the time the group usually met for a morning tea or coffee after breakfast, Annie was nowhere to be found. 

“When I woke up, she was sound asleep,” Reiner said in ways of an answer, “she hasn’t been sleeping well for a while; I figured I’d let her keep sleeping.”

Jean raised an eyebrow, “I’ve never known Annie Leonhardt to sleep in,”

“Scandalous,” Connie gasped, “does she have no respect?”

“Is she okay?” Armin asked as the two continued to go back and forth. The question, however, did cause them both to pause.

“She’s okay,” Reiner said without looking at them.

Mikasa interjected in his place, “she doesn’t sleep because she wakes up from nightmares, right?”

Reiner didn’t say a word. 

For a moment, no one did before Armin continued, “that isn’t surprising; we all do after…”

“I noticed on the journey back to Marley and the few days before we returned to Paradis,” Mikasa took her tea and settled into her chair, “we all do, to some degree, but we’ve been here to support each other. For four years she…”

And that was when the horror hit. 

She had Armin and Hitch through the four years, inconsistently and at times not as friends. Armin was always kind, always talking to her like a friend, but Hitch took a longer time to come around again. The guilt of everything, the trauma of everything, the slow dawning understanding of all of what they’d done had hit her while she was alone with nothing else to occupy herself but her own mind. 

“Should she be alone?” Armin asked.

“She was sound asleep when I left; waking her up would be cruel,” Reiner insisted. 

He was right, but as Armin sat down with them at the courtyard table, his nerves only rose. Waking her up would only make it harder for her to fall back asleep, but he’d visited Annie for four years because waking up alone and scared would be worse. 

Reiner, Connie and Jean decided to help out the Military Police at the palace -- just for something to do. By then, the morning had well since ended, and the mild worry had turned into genuine anxiety as it crept closer to 10:00 am, and Annie was still not anywhere to be found.

He found himself trying to convince himself that if he just _checked_ on her quietly, then no harm done if she was still asleep. Though by now, she was long since past the point of making it harder for her to sleep tonight, which she didn’t need. 

Before he’d fully committed to the idea, he was in front of the door he knew her to be sleeping behind. The hallway was eerily quiet at this time of day, Gabi and Falco likely having convinced everyone to explore more of Paradis throughout the day. Three doors down, he could hear a soft conversation in Pieck’s gentle voice and a soft male’s. Presumably, her father.

For a moment, he thought about knocking, but when he heard no signs of life inside, he worried the knock would wake her up. 

He knocked once lightly with the knuckle on his first finger, waited, and then quietly opened the door just enough to see the bed Annie was asleep on.

She lay on her side in her bed, curled in on herself with one hand over her ear and the other pulled against her chest. For a moment, she looked like she was sleeping soundly, but as he stepped in enough to see her face past the sheets over her, her expression was tense. 

For a long moment, he watched her from the threshold, her eyebrows knit together and her jaw set in whatever nightmare she was haunted by in her sleep. He didn’t know if he had any right to wake her or if waking her would even help her, but he didn’t get the chance to make that choice. His weight shifting against the wood of the door’s threshold creaked and alerted Annie, even in sleep, to his arrival.

Her eyes shot open, and her breath caught as she flinched awake in a startle, drawing herself inward instinctively as her mind came into focus on the waking world. 

It took her only two seconds to notice Armin standing frozen at the door. When their eyes locked through the dim light of the room, she sat up, her hair down and unbrushed over her shoulders, her too-large shirt wrinkled from sleep. 

She looked out the closed curtains at the sliver of daylight that was splitting the room in half in a single bright line before looking back at him, “has something happened?”

“No-” he said, startled by the question. He stepped into the room and closed the door as he heard people coming down the hallway, “I just got worried; it’s a bit late for you to be still sleeping.”

“Is it?” she asked, pushing herself up to draw the curtains back. Her eyes instinctively squinted at the sun as she cringed away from the late morning sun.

“It’s just before lunch, about 10:30; sorry for waking you.”

She hummed and stood up, groggy and not quite yet awake. As she stretched and ran her fingers through her hair, Armin felt his face heat up, and he realized all at once that she should probably have privacy to get dressed before his eyes caught on the fingers still in her hair. Her hand was shaking; ever so slightly, it trembled and struggled to detangle the stubborn knot.

He couldn’t leave her like this.

“Are you okay?”

She paused, looking over at him, only to go just a little red herself, and look away, “just not sleeping well, is all.”

“Because of nightmares?” 

She didn’t say anything, only looked away from him and held her silence.

Armin closed the distance between the two of them carefully, and took her hand gently from her hair and held it. Her hand settled with his comfort, the trembling reduced to a small shake, and she met his eye.

“You know…” he started awkwardly, “if you ever need anything… you can come talk to me- if you want to-”

She looked back up at his face and then nodded uncomfortably, turning her hand in his and squeezing.

In the two years since the Rumbling, the two of them had awkwardly danced around each other. They blushed, they still struggled to talk about how they felt about each other, and they were careful about how to go about being physically affectionate with each other. He wanted to help her understand, he wanted to figure out what there was between them, and he wanted to know if she thought they could work out. They had different lives, had grown up in nations that hated each other, they’d spent years on opposite sides of the battlefield, and by all means, they should hate each other. 

Yet, all Armin could do when he was with her was think about how much he wanted to talk to her. Even when she was in the crystal, Annie was the first and _only_ person he talked about Sasha’s death with. She was the first person to know anything, and he’d spent every day between hopeful and terrified of the day she would break free.

Now, however, wasn't the time for fantasies. It wasn't the time to confuse her tired mind with his own feelings and all the things that would stand between their relationship. The best he could do for her would be to comfort her and make sure she eats food, leaves this room and isn’t left alone to wallow in her mind. 

That was the last thing she needed after four straight years of exactly that. 

He gently tugged her into a hug, giving her the opening to pull away if she wanted, but she moved with the gesture without hesitation. They didn’t speak, he didn’t ask her what her nightmare had been about, and she didn’t ask about Zeke or anything else. They just stood in the centre of the darkroom, Armin’s arms wrapped around her in a secure and gentle hug while the worst of the nightmare was forgotten, as all dreams are, and she was ready to get dressed. 

\--

The next day, after struggling to sleep again, and not for lack of trying, Annie joined everyone in the courtyard after the meeting. They’d been avoiding Zeke like the plague. With the decisions about the Warriors finalized, they decided it best to leave the rest of the meeting to Levi, Historia, Armin and Mikasa. The _two_ Ackerman’s, the Warriors knew, was a thinly veiled threat. Armin, on the other hand, just made sense with his ability to stay neutral and calculated. 

Zeke was there for the second half to decide what to do about him, and Annie could feel the tension rolling off the other two Warriors in waves. Both of them glanced back at the closed conference room door frequently, and the conversation remained tense with the avoidance of mentioning the man behind the door.

While they slipped between moments of silence between bouts of tense conversation, Annie had even seen Pieck’s hand trembling when she attempted to pick up her teacup. She’d taken the betrayal the hardest, and since his “death,” she had struggled to grapple with the grief of losing someone she loved through the means of betrayal.

Reiner, however, was rigid, and his gaze would unfocus as he lost himself in the anger and even grief surrounding the situation with Zeke. With every time his eyes unfocused, Annie would sharply elbow him in the ribs to draw him back. 

The second time she did it, he attempted to elbow her back, and she leaned out of the way. He attempted again, only for her to take a half step back. She took the opportunity when he momentarily lost his balance for lack of hitting her, to attempt to forward his momentum so that he’d continue to fall. Still, she noticed a second too late that he’d been expecting exactly that. He whirled on her, his balance still off enough that he would likely fall, but his arm was around her waist before she could think to dodge it.

Once Reiner got an arm hooked around her, there was little she could do; it was something she’d known to be true since he’d grown taller than her and buffed up in their years in Paradis. She didn’t stand a chance at escaping his grasp, so as his momentum pulled her weight onto his arm, their balance was thrown enough that there was no amount of footwork to keep them from falling entirely.

He turned mid-fall so that he’d land over her, the impact coming onto his arm, so he didn’t crush her. Before he could claim victory, however, she hooked her leg around his and pulled, flipping them so that she had the upper hand, her arm over his chest like she would’ve been pressing on his neck if this had been a real fight. 

When they fought or challenged each other to any capacity, it was never a fair fight. There were no rules; it was whoever got the upper hand by any means. Annie won most of them. 

They both scowled at each other for a split moment before she sat back and released his chest, and both of them smiled.

He sat up and rubbed his chest, “I’ll win one of these days.”

“You’ve never won,” Annie responded, pushing her hair out of her face and sitting back on her legs, “I can’t imagine you’ll start now.”

“I distinctly remember winning once,” he challenged. 

For a moment, the reference didn’t seem to hit either of them and when it did, they both sat silently staring at each other. A momentary look of horror crossed between them before Annie laughed and broke the tension. His own laugh followed, leaning forward with his arms resting on his own legs, but she shoved him back a bit as the movement invaded her space.

“You’re an asshole,” she said.

He laughed harder, “we’re awful.”

The trauma of that day was something neither of them thinks about. The reference to it alone had startled Annie, had startled both of them, but the laughter was not something either of them would understand. Nothing about the events of that day, the memory of that day or the implications of that day were funny. Even while she’d been laughing, there had been nothing about it that had felt funny. Instead, it was almost like she had to laugh or she’d think too hard on something that he hadn’t intended to reference. 

He had won the fight that day and the footrace. The only time he’d beaten Annie at anything had been the same day that Marcel had died. 

Though she realized, perhaps just in time, that she couldn’t let them dwell on it, Reiner had taken a stabilizing breath after laughing, and she turned her attention back to him. There was a hint of that old scar in his eyes, so before he could think about the implications of what he said, she stood and offered him her hand. 

“Tug too hard, and I will let go,” she warned as he took her hand.

“Physical strength one thing you’ll never be able to beat me at,” he said as he stood.

“If you can’t beat me in a fight, then it doesn’t do much good,”

“I can deadlift you, and technically I only choose to release you,”

“Because otherwise, I would crush your windpipe.”

“Wait, Reiner can deadlift you?” Connie interjected.

Annie sighed, “hypothetically.”

“I’ve also done pushups with her as the weight on my back, but that isn’t particularly hard,”

Jean looked at Annie, “I’m surprised you let him use you as a weight.”

She just shrugged, “it was one time,”

“No, wait, was that during training?” Connie asked, “I think I remember that.”

“Yeah, I was proving a point against Eren,” 

Connie looked between Annie and Reiner before laughing a bit, “I can’t believe I never figured it out. I was thinking about it for years after, and I realize now that it was so obvious that you two knew each other.”

“Was it?” Reiner asked, and Annie found herself just as surprised to hear it.

“Yeah- well, in hindsight, but I remembered when you were asking about the abnormal Titan, that at the time we didn’t realize was Eren, aside from you being interested in it- Annie closed her eyes and was resting next to you,” Connie started.

Annie genuinely didn’t even remember the event until Connie said it, and she looked at Reiner while she tried to remember it. When it hit her, she said, “I’m surprised you even remembered that… I didn’t think about it.”

“Well, that’s _why_ I remembered it when I was thinking about it,” Connie shrugged, “you weren’t thinking about it, but back then, you were really stand-offish to everyone. Except maybe Armin,”

“She was stand-offish to me too, then, if that makes you feel better,” Reiner said.

Annie just shrugged, “I have an unpleasant personality.” 

All three boys, Jean included, startled when she said that and said varying versions of “that’s not true” or “you’re not unpleasant.”

She hadn’t realized it was even something strange or that they would refute until they’d done it, and for a moment, she was just puzzled before saying a careful, “... thanks?”

Pieck, who’d remained largely silent through this, laughed softly and gently placed a hand on Annie’s arm, “they’re right, but don’t worry about them. They’re trying to tell you they like being with you without saying it romantically.”

“Right…” Annie said, no less confused.

“That’s just how boys are,” she continued, “especially when their friend is someone who likes you like that.”

For a moment, Annie considered asking what she meant before the realization hit her, and she blushed, looking towards the conference door. While being around the Scouts and Pieck, she was learning that everyone else around her seemed to know how she felt about Armin better than she did. Her own feelings towards him were something she didn’t know how to think about.

At times, she avoided thinking about Armin to avoid the longing she felt every time she did. She hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell him that she didn’t understand why he liked her or how he could even want to like her after everything they’d been through.

For some reason, through all of this, she cared a lot about what he thought of her. The thought of rejection was something she didn’t think she could handle. She’d walked straight into a trap because Armin had been the one to ask her. Despite knowing what he was doing, that the gig was up, and she was either going to die or be apprehended.

The door to the conference opened, silencing the group and drawing Annie’s attention instantly. Armin stepped out first, but no one followed after him when he turned back inside to say something to whoever was just out of sight. After a moment of speaking with whoever was inside, he turned back to the group and crossed the courtyard to them.

“How’d it go?” Jean asked, crossing his arm and turning back to him.

Armin shrugged, “it’s going fine, but I came to warn you guys that Zeke will be coming out shortly,” he met Annie’s eye as he said it.

She shifted her weight onto one leg; this decision was best left up to Reiner and Pieck.

“We have no reason to hide from him if that’s what you’re worried about,” Pieck said firmly; the upset was back. Her smile had entirely faded; instead, it was replaced with a loathing and a calculation that felt wholly un-Pieck.

Reiner nodded, huffing as he crossed his arms, mirroring Jean. They didn’t have anything to be afraid of, not now that they were among friends, not now that they knew enough to not bend to his will, Marley’s will or anyone’s will for that matter. Before the Rumbling, before fleeing Marley in the middle of the night, they’d been conditioned into believing that their higher-ups, Zeke included, were to be entirely believed or wholly feared. There was no middle, Reiner may have said it out of desperation, but in the end, when he’d said that they’d be killed for failing the Paradis Mission, he was right. 

In reality, in the world they’d found on the other side of that hell, there was nothing Zeke or anyone could do to them anymore. They had the Scouts, they had each other, and Zeke was alone in the grand scheme of things.

For that, she pitied him.

When Zeke eventually left the conference room with the Koslow and other officials, he looked over and, to Annie’s annoyance, waved. He’d waved as if he hadn’t turned Falco into a pure titan, effectively killing Colt himself. After being the catalyst to Porco’s death and attempting to bring Pieck and Reiner down with him. 

She met his eye briefly and made sure that he knew exactly what she thought about him through the disinterest in her gaze. _He was nothing._

\--

They spent the next couple hours in the courtyard, in and out of both official and unofficial conversations about the Zeke situation, the Warrior situation and everything else that was happening now that the Marleyan’s were here. It was mostly tedious but entirely essential. 

Marley still owed their families for giving up their children to the Military, and Paradis was not willing to let that be forgotten now they were here. _“They still wore the Marleyan Military uniform”_ was how Historia had tried to explain it to them. Still, they were going to fight tooth and nail on every point until eventually being forced to surrender to them. 

Then there was the issue with Zeke. Levi, and just about everyone else, wanted him apprehended. The Marleyan Military was _attempting_ to claim that he didn’t have any memories of the events immediately preceding the Rumbling and that he didn’t even remember the event itself, but there was no way to verify it. That, and according to both Pieck and Reiner, it wouldn’t matter. He’d thrown them under the bus before that, they just hadn’t known, and he’d not been on their side for a long time.

Reiner even insisted that he may not have ever been on their side, as both he and Bertholdt had insisted that they rescue her in their mission to seize Eren. Apparently, Zeke hadn’t even considered it.

She didn’t know if she should be flattered that he seemed so confident in her abilities, but him insisting that it was an unnecessary liability to find her hadn’t been wrong. They wouldn’t have known that she wasn't being tortured, Armin had only been trying to get Reiner and Bertholdt to turn back for her, and the fact that it’d nearly worked would have bothered Annie if it hadn’t only been a _near_ success. Unfortunately, she knew Reiner well enough not to be surprised.

If something were to happen to her, she wondered if his mind could take it. She wasn't sure if the part of him that split and fractured to protect himself would ever understand that she’d ever been back, to begin with. 

Her mind had dwelled on the possibility of it, all the way up until the moment Connie reminded her of the conversation they’d had about exactly that only weeks before. 

“Annie, can I talk to you?” he asked, under his breath as Reiner was deep in a conversation with Jean.

She nodded but could tell what he was planning on saying by the look on his face and awkward shift in his feet. She’d humour him, let him lead her around the corner where they couldn't be overheard.

It was only when they were adequately out of sight that he spoke again, “remember when we talked about how I wanted to help Reiner?” he didn’t wait for her to respond verbally; she only nodded, and he continued, “I wanted to make sure you did because I was serious about wanting to help.”

Annie met his eye, but she let him speak without interruption and only as he finished did she say, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why? We talked about it before; you agreed to help me,”

“I agreed to help because I thought we were going to die,” she said plainly, “I didn’t expect to actually get this far.”

“Ruthless!” 

She shrugged and turned her gaze out the window for a moment before steeling herself and looking back towards him, “could you handle it when he speaks about Marco? Or about Wall Maria? Or being a Warrior?” she started, “even if you want to help, there is part of him that is… that isn’t the kind and _‘big brother’_ Reiner that existed in the 104th training class or otherwise. It was a part of him that had been able to scare me back then and had been willing to kill anyone to be a _‘good Warrior’_. When he is… when his mind isn’t _here_ , he forgets which side he was on. Sometimes he remembers killing Marco and believes there was no choice, sometimes he doesn’t remember doing it at all, sometimes all he can do is apologize. Sometimes he tries to convince me that there is nothing to grieve, that we did nothing wrong-”

“I get the picture!” he cut off, his expression growing more grim and tense as she went on.

“I’m sure you could help him, maybe even be more empathetic than I am, and talk to him better than I can… but he wouldn’t ask you to do that. He wouldn’t want you to, and I don’t think it’s wise to let you,” her expression softened, and she looked away, “I’m sorry, I agreed to help then because I was sure the curse wasn't going to release us. Even then, I knew that it wasn't a good idea and that the way he gets when he is like that is… not someone you want to meet.” 

“I can handle it.”

Annie startled, her eyes darting straight to meet his. The hesitation that had been there before, the grief and pain, was gone—replaced with a stubborn resolve that had fascinated her, like Marlowe and even Eren once, the single-minded belief that he could do something good.

“I can handle it, and I want you to help me learn to help him,” Connie continued, “and I won’t take no for an answer. So. Please.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed for a moment. Before, the smallest of smiles tugged at the corners of her lips, and she gave an exasperated sigh, “I sometimes forget how good and stubborn you guys can be.”

“You’re not much better, Annie; you’re one of us,” he grinned, throwing his arm over her shoulder, “you’re just as good and stubborn as the rest of us.”

She shrugged him off after a moment and walked back to the group with him. He didn’t need her to agree to help; her reaction had been answer enough. 

As they rejoined their friends, Annie found herself stubbornly disagreeing with Connie’s assertion that she was a _‘good person’_. She was most certainly not as good as the people she’d met here in Paradis; she was nothing more than a selfish monster who’d found redemption in the perceived ‘lowering of the morality of those around her in the years she was gone. There was nothing about herself that she considered good, but she could at the very least allow Connie to continue to be a good person, and help Reiner.


	14. Why Do All the Monsters Come at Night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An attempt made.

###### The Following Days

When night fell over the palace after a long day of tedious discussions with the Marleyan’s and avoiding Zeke, there was no difference in the nighttime routine of the Scouts or the Warriors. Annie didn’t think she’d sleep much through the night; she’d spent the late afternoon answering Connie’s questions and struggling to explain how best to handle whatever came up from Reiner. 

It started with the obvious, and to avoid forgetting anything, she started with Marcel, and then went chronologically through Wall Maria, Trost, Marco, his role in the attempt on Eren in the Titan Forest, and from then on, it was what she knew about events she wasn't there for. She’d learned about most of it through conversations with Pieck and Reiner, as well as through Armin’s visits and Reiner’s nightmares and subsequent crisis. The events that lead to them being found out, Zeke’s arrival, Bertholdt’s death, the attack on Liberio, his attempted suicide, Zeke’s betrayal and the start of the Rumbling, all things that she hadn’t witnessed herself but had no less weighed on her mind while she was helping Reiner through the worst of it.

All of it was important to Connie’s understanding of what could hypothetically come up when he’s helping Reiner, but all of it was guaranteed to keep Annie awake through the night. 

Reiner, however, seemed to have noticed the shift in her mood as soon as she closed the door. Usually, he’d just lay down at the end of a long day and fall asleep, even on days he knew she was unlikely to do the same because they both knew there was no helping it. When it got bad enough, he’d try to stay up and talk to her about it but would be met by her often unintentionally cold denials, and he’d have no choice to surrender. 

When she moved to sit down on her bed, taking her hair out of the bun as she did, he patted the space beside where he sat on his own. He didn’t say anything; he didn’t even try to get her to talk and met her cold look with a raised eyebrow and a victorious smile as she sat down beside him.

He knew that she thrived in silence, but he just as equally knew that even her _lone-wolf_ style of coping with everything had its limits. No one was capable of holding so much weight on their consciousness on their own, and sometimes she cracked and talked to him, but usually, this was enough. 

She has no memory of where it started and no idea how she’d originally even let herself get so comfortable with him, so she guessed the shift was gradual. Sometime between the first time he’d hugged her after they infiltrated the walls and the first night they slept side by side after her return from the stasis in the crystal, some invisible barrier had broken. They’d always been each other’s only true allies, even when they acted as enemies.

Whatever it was that had caused the shift; it had led to one of the only ways she’d allowed Reiner to help her. Aside from the few times they talked, the many comfortable silences and the careful comforts she let him extend to her, she sometimes found herself resting her head on his arm like a pillow as they bickered until they fell asleep. 

He tried to convince her to bring her pillow, but she never did. Instead, they bickered about whether or not the blankets were evenly distributed, how his arm was falling asleep and how his legs were entirely too large and long. Eventually, they’d fall into silence, and he’d fall asleep. Sometimes, she would, too; other times, she’d lay awake and listen to him breathe.

This night was one where she found herself awake. Summer was nearing an end, but it was still entirely too warm with his already above-average body heat. Yet, she remained where she was, trying not to envy how easily he slept. He slept to avoid the same demons that kept her up; it was one of a million things that made them opposite. 

Just as she believed she might fall asleep, the first signs that something was wrong began. 

There was a hushed conversation that at first Annie had been certain was the wind. It came from above their window, and it barely carried far enough for her to hear it. There was only a jumble of syllables that were clearly not a sound made by trees or wind against shingles, and then a sound so close to footsteps that she started to sit up. 

It was so slight that for a moment, she thought it was her own paranoid mind or her own nightmares bleeding into her waking life. Reiner’s arm came around her middle when she pushed herself up onto her arm, and he muttered something like ‘try to sleep’ or ‘just sleep’ as he seemed to be aware that she was attempting to get up.

She didn’t try to wake him right away; instead, she leaned towards the window from where she still lay in bed and tried to listen through the silence. 

With all of her senses pricked, she caught the first audible words, “keep going.”

The words came without a voice she recognized, but her instincts came to her defence, and she pulled against Reiner’s arm. While she sat up, she shook his shoulder, her eyes trained on the darkness outside their window. Something was happening. 

\--

Armin had spent the night in the library, reading over books he’d had no access to before learning about Marley. During one of their earliest visits, Annie had brought back some books that survived the Rumbling, and she was able to take them without anyone questioning her. Since then, he’d read nearly all of them at least twice, as well as any of the writings and books that’d been found in Grisha’s basement. 

He sat curled up in the chair with a candle to read by as he sat next to the open study window. From time to time, he found himself distracted, thinking about what Pieck had said about his own feelings towards Annie and the conversation he’d wanted to have with her before Zeke arrived. 

There was never a good time to talk to Annie, he didn’t want to do it while emotions were already heightened, but at this point, it felt like they’d never truly be able to rest. There may never be an end to the repercussions of the last 13 years, the Rumbling included.

He was starting to doze off in his chair when he heard it, the distinct thud thud thud thud of feet on the roof over his head. There was a skidding sound, followed by gentler and more careful footsteps when whoever was running noticed the light from the study like they were trying not to be heard. Instinctively, Armin closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep in his chair while he waited for whoever stood above him to carry on. 

No one was speaking, but Armin’s mind was running at a thousand miles per hour. The last time anyone had come into the palace that way, it was Annie and Reiner. They had no reason to be sneaking around on the roof now, and the two sets of footfalls were too close in weight and stride distance to be the pair. 

_Zeke?_

At the meeting, they’d brought up the genuine concern that Zeke was meant to be a threat because he was technically in line for the throne. Somehow Armin had hoped that it was a baseless threat, that Marley was too weakened to want to pull any stunt like this. The loss of Historia could risk creating a power vacuum, sure, but there was no way they’d let Zeke live to take over in her place, meaning Marley would have declared war again. They’d be choosing to create an enemy out of one of the only nations stable enough to help anyone. 

The footsteps picked back up, and Armin urgently extinguished the candle and sprinted from the room. It wasn't often that they stayed in the palace, there were barracks and resident buildings for Scouts, but he knew where they all were when they were here. It took him only a couple of minutes to sprint to the room he and Mikasa shared, followed by Connie and Jean before they split up again.

Mikasa went to find Levi, and the two of them would go straight for Historia. Connie, Jean and Armin would attempt to get to the courtyard to get a better view of where the sounds were coming from. As they sprinted down the stairs, taking two at a time, Armin found himself hoping against hope that he’d been making the sounds up. That his tired, sleep-deprived mind had invented a threat that didn’t exist.

When they broke into the courtyard, only to find Annie and Reiner already there, he knew that he hadn’t been the only one to hear it.

\--

Annie was scanning the building's roof from the courtyard, Reiner at her side, both of them still dressed like they’d been preparing for sleep.

When the sound of urgent running was followed by Jean, Connie and Armin careening around the corner towards them, they too were pyjama-clad. All of the boys were in sleepwear, Jean was shirtless with only his pyjama pants, Armin was in a robe over a matching pyjama set, and Connie was wearing pyjama pants on backwards and an ill-fitted shirt. 

They all looked dishevelled, and she was glad she’d decided to sleep in her hoodie and pyjama pants that night. The boys, Reiner included, looked a lot more like they’d just been disturbed from a deeply comfortable night of sleep. 

“Did you guys hear what was going on?” Armin asked urgently.

“Annie heard someone on the roof,” Reiner responded, his eyes still fixed on the section above their window. 

Armin nodded, “so did I when I was in the study reading.”

“Well, glad it was two of you,” Jean said, annoyed visibly, “I usually trust Armin’s instincts, but I was starting to think he’d been hearing things.”

All three of them were looking up until Annie turned to Reiner and met his eye, “get me onto the roof, then meet me upstairs,”

“What- Annie, that’s crazy!” Connie tried.

“You can’t just chase after an unknown number of intruders who got on the roof without detection,” Jean added, “that’s suicide.”

Reiner was already helping her, cupping his hands so that she could step into his palms. With one single burst of strength, he threw her straight up, and she grabbed the edge of the roof to hoist herself up. 

“You can’t be okay with this idea,” Jean said, looking at Reiner.

“Annie will be fine, and we need someone up there just in case they haven’t made it inside yet. She can follow them directly in whatever entry point they were planning and delay them so we can catch up,” he responded, his entire demeanour switching back into the total focus and strategy that had made him among the best in their graduating class, all those years ago. He looked up to watch Annie running towards the main wing of the palace, “she will be dead if we aren’t there to meet her on the other side though, we need to go.”

\--

Armin watched her go, his heart beating too hard in his chest as he watched her disappear into the darkness behind the first fireplace. She’d be fine; it was Annie they were talking about, she was always fine, but he found himself running ahead of Jean as they made their way towards the wing Historia would be sleeping in. 

On the way past, Jean broke off at the sight of Pieck and the new commanding officer of the Military Police, who were urgently trying to round up the baby's nursemaids. As they passed, Armin could see a two-year-old-sized bundle in Pieck’s arms. He was glad they’d had the urgency to get to the child first before they began the lockdown protocol for Historia’s closest staff and the royal family themselves.

The closer they got to Historia’s room, the more people there were frantically posted with weapons drawn and anxieties high at the end of the same hall. Historia was in her nightdress, standing looking put-off but more calculated than afraid as she spoke quietly with the guard that stood at her door. 

At the sight of them, she perked up, then looked puzzled, “you all look like you just rolled out of bed.”

“So do you,” Connie said immediately, earning an elbow to the rib by Jean. 

“You’re okay,” Armin said instead, “nothing has happened here?”

“No, Mikasa and Levi got here before you did; they went straight up onto the roof,” she said, pulling her long robes over her tighter, “something’s happening?”

“Annie and I heard something on the roof. Based on where her room is, and the study is, we can be pretty sure they’d been on their way here,” Armin said, “though that wasn't a question. We should get you somewhere safer; we don’t know what’s happening.”

She nodded, “the shelter beneath the palace should be the safest place in the palace,” she said, “you three are hardly dressed to fight; where are Jean, Annie and Pieck?”

Armin explained the situation as he turned to follow her down towards the shelter, but Reiner broke off.

“I’m going back to the guest wing if it’s the Marleyan’s… I don’t want to take any chances,” he said, but he’d already begun to leave.

Connie startled at the suggestion and nodded, “I’ll come with you,” 

Just as the pair of them ran off down the hall and rounded the corner back towards the guest wing, the Military Police began their urgent trip towards the shelter. They guided them carefully through the shadowed halls, and Armin kept an ear out towards the windows. The chances of hearing anything from Mikasa, Levi or Annie up there were slim, but he kept part of his attention split in that direction anyway. 

The Military Police officer that was leading them must have been doing the same thing because, at the same second, both Armin and the officer’s attention shot toward the window at the same time. 

“Get down!” someone shouted, and the entire group threw themselves as far from the windows as possible. 

Armin dove around the nearest corner, his shoulder colliding painfully with the stone hallway just as the bomb that had broken through the window detonated in the hallway. The shockwaves of it sent debris and glass flying in a dust cloud in all directions. 

His ears rang with the blast, too loud to hear anything else.

Through the dust alone, his world was plunged into darkness.

\--

Annie had caught up with one of the two would-be assassins at the same moment he threw a flash bomb into a hallway she could only guess everyone was in. Levi and Mikasa were too far to help, dealing with another attacker who’d attempted a similar stunt on the bedroom. 

She was too late to stop the bomb from being thrown into the window, but she managed to close the distance before the attacker could get into the window. They’d attempted to jump through the hole they created before they could make the jump, though Annie had dived for them and threw the weight of her body into theirs -- sending them both over the edge towards the ground two stories below. 

The pair of them went careening over the edge, but their fall was stopped abruptly halfway when the attacker’s harness broke their fall. Annie’s hand had instinctively grabbed the rope attached to the roof, but she was nearly forced to release it almost immediately.

As soon as their downward momentum was halted, they were launched upward by the cord suddenly being sucked straight back up mechanically by whatever device was kept above the window. A failsafe that allowed the attacker to launch them both into the broken glass window.

The roll kicked up dust, and her body broke more glass beneath her before she could brace her roll. Someone shouted her name, but her attention was entirely focused on the attacker attempting to push himself up on the glass. His helmet and mask had come off in the brawl, and Annie realized that she recognized him.

Hans was an Eldian Unit member of the Marleyan Military. He’d been in artillery, trained to be a member of Pieck’s arsenal, but spent most of his time on the frontlines. She only knew him from how often he came to talk to Pieck after the Rumbling and how often he’d happily greet both herself and Reiner when he bumped into them on the base.

She didn’t know him, and if he kept his assault, she’d have to kill him, but she was unwilling to further bloody her hands with the deaths of good people. 

“Ms. Leonhardt-?” he startled when he saw her.

She didn’t lower her guard as she rose to her feet, but she attempted to be as non-threatening as she could manage, “what are you doing here?”

“I was ordered not to say anything; they didn’t tell me you’d be involved-”

“I’m not involved,” she said, but before she could say anything else, Levi had the younger man at knifepoint. 

He’d come in through the window, with Mikasa in tow. The energy they radiated was oppressive, leaving the room and everyone in it without the air in their lungs to speak. Annie remembered thinking that the true monsters among them were the Ackerman’s, but she’d nearly forgotten until she saw them like this again for the first time since before the crystal.

“Annie, what happened?” Mikasa asked, her eyes never leaving Hans.

“He was trying to break into the window and kill the queen when the bomb had everyone in the dark,” she said, before looking at the dumbstruck Hans, “he’s from the Eldian Unit of the Marleyan Military,”

“You know him?” Levi asked.

“In passing, we worked on the same base,” she looked at Hans again, “they didn’t say we’d be here?”

“No- they said your location was unknown-” he stammered, “wait, you said we? Are all three of you here?” 

Annie nodded, but before she could say anything, Levi put up a hand to silence her. She didn’t have more reason to listen to him, aside from the mild fear she’d harboured of him since getting back. She’d personally killed his entire team, and part of her wondered how long it would take him before he returned the favour. 

She didn’t test her luck and avoided him as often as possible.

Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “get him to a cell for now, and round up the Marleyan’s. We need to have eyes on all of them,” he put the knife away as someone bound Hans.

Before anyone spoke again, a hand came to her shoulder, and Armin came to stand at her side before she could startle. He gave her a tired smile and a thumbs up while Levi began discussing plans about what to do with Historia until they could get this all sorted out. Someone was sent to gather those with the kid who’d already been sent to the shelter, and the rest of the Military Police were ordered to do a thorough sweep of every inch of the palace grounds -- inside and out.

However, while all of this happened, her attention was entirely taken by the small cuts the glass had caused on his cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, brushing some of the small shards from his cheek, causing him to flinch for a moment.

“I’m fine, are you?” He said right back, gently urging her arm forward so he could look at the shoulder she primarily landed on. Both of them were cut up a little from the broken window, but it was nothing urgent.

They’d made it through another battle, “your friends just love being targets for attacks and kidnappings, don’t they?”

That made Armin laugh, “yeah, I guess,” he said, looking back towards where Mikasa was directing some of the Military Police to look for the second attacker. Though, as the silence stretched for a moment, he looked back at her, “the same could be said about you, though.”

For a moment, the comment surprised her before she smiled and let out the smallest laugh, “yeah, I guess so.”

~*~

They were allowed to go back to bed after that, which was a blessing. The actual conversation with the Marleyan’s wouldn’t happen until the next day, and none of them have dressed for the affair yet anyway. 

All of the running around and fighting had, at the very least, worn Annie out enough that she could confidently sleep without dreams through the night. The moment they reentered the bedroom, Reiner laid back down to go to sleep, and without hesitation, Annie settled back onto his arm. He grumbled something but threw his other arm over her as he began to drift off.

Annie pushed it right back off her, but it wouldn’t have mattered either way. His arm was right back over her anyway, and she shot him a steely look, “you’re too warm.”

“Too bad,” he responded, his eyes closed and his words tired with incoming sleep, “I’m comfortable.”

She rolled her eyes but settled her head back onto his arm comfortably and found that the warmth wasn't a hindrance to her sleep. She closed her eyes and was asleep within a couple of seconds. 

The next day things moved quickly; Historia and Levi had worked on a “deal” that was both an underhanded threat and the only way they could ensure punishment to the government and not the people. Historia was strict on that; they all were; don’t doom the people for the crimes of their leaders. 

It was a simple fix; turn Zeke over to the custody of the Military Police in Paradis. 

They lose their trump card, their last option, and the final grasp at power that they could’ve made as they sank deeper into the devastation created by the Rumbling. No one may have deserved the Rumbling. Still, Marley’s precarious relationship with one of the only nations with any ability to help was something well earned by the Marleyan Military.

This attempt on Historia’s life should have been considered a declaration of war, but the people who would suffer the most were the very same people they should’ve seen as needing protection, to begin with. The Eldian’s often didn’t have a choice to join the military, only the facade of one layered over top of years of abuse, discrimination and hardship. It was a choice in the same way a tortured man chooses death.

When the meeting ended, Reiner was quick to throw himself deep into conversation and “celebrations” with Jean and Connie. He was ignoring the details, ignoring that Zeke would be behind bars in Paradis for the foreseeable future, within arms reach but a traitor to them and the instigation of the Rumbling. He was returning to them as an enemy and not as the older brother he’d made himself out to be to all of them.

Pieck had immediately dismissed herself to go be with her father, politely but urgently. They all needed to slink off and tend to their own wounds about the situation.

It’d been 13 years since she’d _seen_ Zeke, but you didn’t forget someone you spent nearly every waking hour with for years so easily. Through all of the training, he’d made an active effort to know all of them. He’d been charismatic, a people person, and was good with people. Even the Marleyan higher-ups liked him, and Annie could admit to herself that she’d at the very least _envied_ that charisma and been fascinated by him.

He’d put effort into knowing her, too, as he did with everyone. When she’d begun training with the small group, too young for the military as they all were, and years ahead of the others in combat, he’d been the first person to _try_ talking to her. He’d been the one that snuck sweets into the training ground and never let the boys get away with trying to freak her out with bugs. 

When they did try, as boys that age did, and she threw them to the ground with as much force as her much smaller body could manage, he’d give her a high five for it. At the time, she’d been apathetic to all of it; she hadn’t learned to be any other way and was only there for the single-minded mission of earning her father the red armband. Zeke has been old enough then to see past that more than the others and understand her in a way other kids her age could ever hope to.

He’d even taught her or tried to, how to get information out of people. Long before they were set to leave for Paradis, it was clear that she would be one of the warriors chosen, and he’d tried to teach her to lie. She remained awful at acting and lying, but he’d been able to help her learn to hide information without _lyingI_. Ultimately, it was that lesson that had saved her from being found out much earlier than she had been, and it was something he’d said about hardening that’d been the catalyst of her panicked instinctual reaction of crystallization to save herself. 

She’d liked Zeke, to whatever degree her younger self had been able to like anyone back then. His betrayal had come as a shock to her, but the time she’d spent away had been enough that she didn’t know anyone she’d left behind by the time she came back. 

The breeze as she left the meeting room was cooler than it had been so far, the first signs that fall was creeping ever closer with each passing day. The sun was still bright above them, and the grass and trees were still green with the summer rain and sun. 

Armin caught up to her before she could make the decision between following Reiner or going to find a quiet place alone. 

He came up from behind her and took her hand before she could keep walking, only momentarily startling her before drawing her attention, “sorry, do you have a moment?” he asked carefully without looking up at her.

There was something tense in every inch of him like he was bracing for something, and she could only turn fully to him and nod. He led her towards the courtyard, where the sun had made the cool breeze more comfortable in its warmth, and the flowers gently replaced the smell of burnt coffee and mahogany of the conference room. It was more comfortable here than it was in the hallway that was now empty but always seemed to host busy energy to it.

Neither of them said anything for a moment; they stood beneath the shade of a tree that stood only feet from the artificial waterfall and pond in the centre of the courtyard. Armin looked into the pond from where he stood, his eyes following one of the fish that she remembered him saying was one of his favourites. She couldn’t remember what kind of fish he said they were, but he thought they were beautiful. She knew that much.

“Things don’t really slow down around here, do they?” He said after a long silence.

She shook her head, “the Survey Corps just seems to attract bad luck.”

That got a laugh out of Armin, and she found herself watching the way his eyes seemed brighter when he did. He didn’t say anything right away, but the smile became a bit more anxious again when he did. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you since you got back, but every time I think we’ll have time, something happens.”

She looked at him without saying anything. A lot had happened since the moment they got back after the assassination attempt, followed almost immediately by the visit to the monument and their subsequent illness. There was no end to it, it seemed, as meetings piled on other meetings and the Marleyan’s continued to do everything in their power to make their lives a bit more difficult than it had any right being.

“I was… trying to hold off talking to you this whole time because I didn’t want it to feel like I’d only ever be able to talk to you was when there was something big happening,” he started, “but I realize now that there will never be a good time, and something big is always happening.”

She turned to face him again, turning her shoulder to the pond but struggled with what to say to that. There was always something this week; it was Zeke, and next week, it could be Ymir herself rising from the dead; at this point, nothing would surprise her. So she only nodded and asked a careful, “what is it?”

His face flushed red a bit, and he stammered with how to start, “well- it’s about the conversation we had- on the ship before,” he started, and it only took a moment for her own cheeks to heat a bit, “I know you said you didn’t understand, and I’m not sure if you just didn’t understand my feelings or if you didn’t understand why I felt- feel like that. But I wanted to talk about it. I want you to understand- if you want to, I mean…”

She couldn’t meet his eyes and looked away urgently while he spoke. While she struggled with what to say, she analyzed the blades of grass at the artificial pond’s stone edge. In all her training, in all her experiences, and all four years of listening to Hitch go on about boys, she’d been entirely unprepared for this moment. Part of her had felt it coming, the way he seemed to hesitate in lulls in the conversation like he was preparing to speak but never did. She’d seen it coming in the growing amount of time they spent together and the knowing looks that Pieck would pass her from the other side of the room. 

Somehow, despite all of this, she hadn’t yet figured out how to answer him. So she hesitated, for a moment, before saying a simple, “I’m not good at understanding people; you’re a good teacher, though, aren’t you?”

Again, he laughed a bit and nodded, “yeah, I’d say so,” he responded, “but I’m… not good at this either. Sorry,”

“Don’t apologize,” she said, surprising herself with how glad she was to see him smiling, “it’s okay.”

They fell into a strangely tense silence for another long moment before he spoke again, “I like spending time with you,” he said carefully, his face flushing more.

“I could tell by your visits,”

“Is it okay? Do you…” 

She found herself holding one arm with the other, unconfident in a way she rarely was, “I was glad, when you came to visit. Even when you knew what I was…” she looked back at him, “I didn’t understand why you’d like a girl who couldn’t even respond. Who didn’t smile like the other girls and wasn't ever easy to talk to.”

“I don’t think you’re hard to talk to,” he said urgently, “I liked talking to you during training, and I’ve liked talking to you since. I always looked forward to when you came back to Paradis.”

“Why?” she asked, “you may not think you’re a good person anymore, but I’ve always been a monster.”

“You’re not a monster, Annie,” 

She found herself getting frustrated because that, she knew, was a lie. But she smothered the worst of it and just said a too-sharp, “how can you-?”

But he surprised her by cutting her off, “you were twelve when you were sent here, and we were all teenagers in training,” he insisted, “you didn’t have a choice. Like we didn’t in Liberio before the Rumbling, we believed we didn’t have a choice either. That doesn’t make you a monster.”

Her breath caught in her throat, but she couldn’t look at him. Her eyes burned a bit, but she found it wasn't with hurt or frustration. It was a relief. She was relieved because he didn’t see her as she saw herself. She was guilty of a lot of crimes, she was selfish, she was cruel, and to many people, she’d been a monster. But Armin wasn't someone who lied easily or well, and he believed that she wasn't a monster.

“I’m in love with you, Annie,” he said with sudden confidence that surprised her, “I have been for a long time, I think. I wanted to talk because I wanted to know if you…”

She didn’t smile, but the sound she made was something between a laugh and a sudden release of breath, “of course I am, you idiot.”

The anxiety in him unwound, and she could see his shoulders as they slumped with relief. He smiled, but the pink didn’t leave his cheeks as he retook her hand, turning to face her entirely. 

For a moment, they stood in comfortable silence, his hand holding hers before he said a careful and altogether awkward, “is it okay- can I… can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Alright,”

When he stepped closer to her, closing the distance between them enough that she had to turn her head up to meet his eye, the breeze in the courtyard had stilled. She was aware again, for the first time since he’d started speaking, that the courtyard smelt of flowers and the water of the pond. 

When his arms came around the small of her waist and onto her cheek as he leaned in and kissed her, the world didn’t zoom in as she expected it to. Instead, she was aware of every aspect of him and the moment that brought him to her like this. He leaned over her a bit, her feet allowed to stay entirely on the ground as her hands came to rest against his chest. 

Through his shirt, she could feel his heart beating.

They only pulled apart when they’d become breathless with a moment that had taken a lifetime to arrive.


	15. Angels Like You Can't Fly Down Here With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the warriors talk to Zeke.

###### A Week Later

Zeke had been apprehended for a whole four days before Annie, Reiner, and Pieck had decided they wanted to see him. 

They couldn’t just walk down and decide to see him, however, and before they took their first steps down the stone stairs into the dungeon, it was prefaced by a long conversation with Levi and their friends. In the end, it boiled down to are you sure? And someone else has to be down there, and the gentle insinuation that they didn’t distrust them, they distrusted Zeke. It was for the best; Zeke was charismatic in a way that would give him the opening to gaslight all three of them.

Annie could even admit to herself that she was hoping that they’d find out that everyone had been wrong. That somehow, Eren had infected his mind. 

But she knew better. This was in his character, he’d sold out his parents as a kid, and now he’d sold the Warriors out as an adult.

When they stepped into the dingy, poorly lit room, he sat in the centre of his cell on the floor. He looked tired and old in a way he hadn’t the last time she’d seen him on Marley. Then he’d been 20 and full of energy and will. Now, he was a 31-year-old man who was wasted after the end of a genocide he’d had a hand in committing. 

While Reiner and Pieck moved to sit down on chairs in front of his cell, Annie leaned against the wall with her arms crossed.

“I wasn't sure you’d want to come see me,” he said as they settled, and he looked over towards Annie, “it seems I was right about not needing to worry about Little Annie, wasn't I? Long time no see, I meant to greet you in that first meeting, but there wasn't a good time.”

“Long time no see,” she repeated but didn’t so much as nod in his direction. 

“So the three of you moved to Paradis? I’m glad; honestly, you weren’t built for what the Marleyan’s would have expected of you,” he crossed his arms, speaking like it was the easiest thing in the world, “too much spite and spirit.”

Pieck was shaking with rage or grief, Annie couldn’t tell from this angle, but Reiner put a hand over hers to settle the tension in her knuckles. He was talking to them like he was catching up with old friends like he hadn’t been the reason that Colt and Porco were dead, that the Rumbling had started, that all of this had come to where they were now.

As if he hadn’t looked Pieck and Reiner in the eye and tried to have them killed.

“They claimed you don’t remember,” Pieck said after a moment, “but I knew that you were playing them from the moment they said that. You were of sound mind while you tried to get Eren Yeager to sterilize all Eldians when you tried to kill us, and this wasn't the first time you’d sold out people who cared about you. So why did you want to come here?” 

“That’s my Pieck, always sharp,” he said easily, and Pieck stilled, “I wanted out of Marley, and I wanted to figure out where the last of you went.”

The energy in the room darkened, and even Annie felt the chill that swept through the entirely still dungeon. Reiner spoke, “you say _the last of us_ like it wasn't you who killed Colt and doomed Porco.”

Zeke, for the first time, dropped his smile. He looked down at the dust on the floor beneath him, “they were… necessary sacrifices.”

“Was that what you would’ve said about all of us but Eren and yourself back then?” Annie asked, already out of patience.

“It was better that way,” he said, and though there was pain in his voice, there wasn't a hint of remorse or guilt. He’d do it again if he were in the same position now, “I knew what I had to do; I had decided to become the monster to save you from the same fate.”

“Become the monster?” Pieck repeated, “by killing Porco and Colt? And trying to kill Reiner and me that day?”

He went silent, uncharacteristically. The cool, collected demeanour was giving way to the defeated look that she’d expected. He only looked up after a long moment of silence, “it doesn’t feel like it, but I was always looking out for you kids. You know that,” he started, looking towards Reiner, “it was why I didn’t let you and Bertholdt go on the suicide mission to find Annie. It wasn't to be unreasonable; it was because I knew she’d probably found a way out of being caught and that there was no way she was being tortured. It would’ve been suicide. I genuinely felt like a big brother to all of you,” this time, he turned to Pieck, “I celebrate your victories, and the pride was all real. None of that was something I made up.”

Both Reiner and Pieck went ghost quiet, but Annie felt entirely immune to the shock and grief that washed over them, “Is that what you believe about your parents too?”

He met her eye, “always right to the jugular, I’m glad to see you haven’t lost that edge,” he started, Annie’s resolve didn’t falter, “that was another matter entirely.”

“Forgive me for not understanding how killing us was considered looking out for any of us?” She asked.

“I knew if I told you all my plan, you may not have understood,” he started, scratching at his beard, “worse, I worried that you would, and you’d choose to join me. If I gave you that opportunity, I would’ve lost the nerve to save you from that. I didn’t want you to follow me and become past the point of redemption, past the point of forgiveness. The last thing I would’ve wanted was for you to become the villains; all of you suffered enough hate for the decisions other people made.”

“So you decided to kill us?” Pieck asked, “why? I can’t understand why.”

It was the first time Annie had ever seen Pieck not understand Zeke. They were always on the same page; she always understood him, even when no one else did. By the look on Reiner’s face when he looked towards Pieck, that much hadn’t changed either. 

“That wasn't any fault of your own,” he said, “I would have wanted any other outcome. But the only way the plan could’ve worked was if the titan shifters were eliminated.”

Reiner’s jaw set, and he leaned back in his chair, defeated. Annie moved to stand at his side, resting her arm casually on his shoulder to lean on him, but it was more for him than it was for support. 

“Believe me, it’s not your fault,” he repeated, “I would have done what Eren did, burn all bridges by hitting his closest friends where it hurt the worst, but I couldn’t do that. Not after Reiner came back from Paradis the way he did, and not to sweet Pieck or any of you. Maybe it would have been a mercy to do that before attacking you as I did.”

“You can’t honestly believe that we will believe you, after everything,” Reiner bit out.

“I only wanted to save you from the fate I was dooming myself to,” he repeated, “I knew what needed to be done to save the world, and I knew I was the only one who could do it. You kids were better off left out of it, even when Eren started the Rumbling. I wanted to be the older brother that all of you needed when we met, I wanted to teach Little Annie to lie, and underdog Reiner to become the leader I knew he could be, and Pieck, I wanted to nurture that intelligence of yours with everything I had to pretend I didn’t know. You were just kids when we met; I really did see myself as your guardian.”

“Instead, you tried to kill us,” Reiner repeated.

Zeke looked away, “instead, I did what I had to do to save you.”

Annie scoffed, leaning off Reiner to cross her arms. Pieck spoke, “so you worked behind our backs to give the Scouts the opening and knowledge they’d need to kill us all. You had Yelena trap Porco and me that day of the festival so that we’d be out of the way of the blast but entirely ready to be eaten by Eren when he transformed. Is that right?”

Zeke said nothing.

“Your plan to save us from becoming monsters was to have us killed and eaten by your half brother so that we’d be out of the way and added to the list of titan shifters eaten by Eren Yeager in time for the Rumbling?” Reiner added, his teeth clenched, “you expect us to believe it was real? You claim it was, but how do we know you didn’t come to Paradis to confess this to us so that you could die knowing you weren’t the bad guy?”

This time Annie looked at Reiner, worried. She rested a hand back on his arm, trying to draw his attention to the words he’d just said. He’d done the same thing once. Or tried to. He’d tried to absolve himself of all crimes, and it had led to his mind shattering before it left him without any will at all. 

Zeke saw the small movement, and for a long time, he looked at her hand on Reiner’s arm before looking up towards her alone and saying, “I’m glad that you could finally let people in,” he said, “it worried me when you were younger.”

She looked towards Pieck and Reiner, ignoring him entirely, “let’s go,” she said without asking. They could come back again when he wasn't so diluted. There were too many words left unsaid, too much left between them to allow this to be the last time they spoke to Zeke. 

For now, however, none of them were ready to put up their walls enough to keep him from getting past. They had questions left unanswered, a closure that wasn't yet resolved, but they were getting nowhere with a delusional washed-up Warrior who’d somehow held no loyalty to the people he’d trained and had a hand in raising. He was so much older than them, Annie wouldn’t have ever guessed that he was going to be the one that would turn on them. 

Jean, Armin, Mikasa and Connie had waited at the bottom of the stairs behind the barred door. They’d have heard everything, and by the worry on their faces, they had. Yet, none of the Warriors could figure out what to say until they were long out of earshot of the dungeon, and it was decided that they needed to eat something. 

\--

It took a couple of days for the Warriors to be willing to return to any level of normalcy. For the first few days afterwards, they were coasting. It was like Zeke had knocked the wind out of all of them, taken the momentum out of their drive and left them momentarily stranded.

For two days, everyone respected their need to be left to themselves. They needed time to grapple with their losses and with their newfound conflicts. 

But the two days they had were all they were allotted, as Armin had come to check on them by the end of the second day, and Mikasa had come to suggest they come to lunch the following day. Thus, they found themselves agreeing to lunch with Jean, Armin, Connie and Mikasa against all their instincts, telling them to hide away until the worst of the pain passed. 

They met at the entrance facing the Stohess district, and as she approached close enough to see Armin, Annie was glad she came. Everyone seemed to have known before them that they’d felt something for each other, but none of them seemed to have noticed the shift that had happened after the first kiss only a week ago.

There was no dramatic shift; in reality, they were still the same two people they had been before. That kiss wasn't the only one since then; they’d stolen moments before Zeke had knocked Annie back down from the high she’d been riding with him. 

Since the garden, they’d found time to sit in the study together alone. Neither of them spoke; they’d only silently read while tucked against each other on a large cushioned chair that the two of them only just fit on. They’d taken to going for a short walk through part of the palace while Reiner, Jean, and Connie were off doing something a bit too high-energy and chaotic for Annie or Armin to ever hope to keep up with.

It was through the last week, and through Armin, that Annie had started to see that Mikasa hadn’t been as frozen as she’d assumed. The progress had just been so gradual, and Annie’s bias had been so great that until she’d been alone with Armin and Mikasa, she hadn’t seen the change. She also hadn’t realized until then that she’d held a great amount of respect for her.

Through this newfound friendship, Annie could tell that Mikasa knew that the two of them had finally done the impossible. Despite everything, they’d been through, and despite everything they’d done to each other, they’d let themselves fall in love.

Everyone else, however, had not figured it out. Not that they were even trying to hide it; both of them were just too awkward to make a big deal out of it or do any level of “announcing” it to their friends. They just had to hope that they’d figure it out on their own through moments like the one as they walked towards the restaurant.

They hung back, like they always did, and walked side by side. Ahead of them, Connie and Reiner were trying to knock the back of each other’s knees out; she watched Connie try - and fail - to get his leg around Reiner’s to knock him down. She was pretty sure it was a failed attempt at her technique that he was trying, but it had only resulted in him losing his own balance and stumbling backwards directly into Jean.

Based on the incoherent “fighting,” they’d had a disagreement about who was the strongest boy in the group. Jean, who’d been trying to stay out of it to impress Mikasa, got involved the moment that Connie had crashed right into him.

Mikasa was watching, unbothered as always and if anything, she was mildly amused. Pieck, at her side, was laughing.

While she watched, she leaned closer towards Armin and gently rested her hand at the end of his, “is this a normal argument?”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” he responded, also watching with great interest as Jean wrapped an arm around Connie’s neck and tried to tug him down, “we’ve grown and gotten better since we were in training, so Connie and Jean have been bickering about it for at least the last four or five years.”

“And now Reiner is too,” she hummed, looking back towards the ongoing fight. She slid her hand from the place below his elbow into his larger, warmer hand while she talked. For a brief moment, he blushed, but it fades so fast it was like it’d never happened, and he just closed his hand over hers.

“What do you think?” He asked, “who is the strongest?”

She thought for a moment, looking between the three boys fighting ahead of them, “in terms of experience, Reiner has all of you beat,” she said easily, “and in terms of physical strength, he’d have you all beat too. In that regard, he’d be the strongest. But in a fight, it would depend. He has weaknesses; he’s awful at hiding and often falls into patterns while in hand-to-hand; if Jean or Connie could exploit them, they might win. Though between the two of them, I’d assume Jean, but even saying that, Connie doesn’t take sparring seriously enough to gauge his fighting ability, and I think he’s stronger than he lets on.”

“Wow, you really think about this a lot, don’t you?” He was smiling, but she couldn’t figure out why.

Annie shrugged, “looking for weaknesses and how to exploit them is about the only chance you have of winning a fight when you’re smaller than your opponent,” she said, before adding, “and weight distribution. Connie just tried to take out Reiner’s _left_ leg, but he usually puts most of his weight on it’s his right leg. That, and he aimed too low and gave Reiner too much time to prepare.”

“You really are amazing,” Armin responded, “your father taught you to fight?”

The mention of her father got a small smile out of her, and she nodded, “yeah, he was a skilled fighter. I think it would have been easier on him if I was taller and bigger, but he taught me to play to the enemies weaknesses instead of my own strengths,”

Armin smiled at that, but the conversation silenced as they watched the ever-intensifying tests of strength between the three boys. It only took two more pauses to pick up whichever boy had been toppled or tripped before they made it to the cafe. They settled as the boys continued quietly bickering amongst themselves all the way up until their order was placed with the waitress.

“Wait,” Connie started the second the conversation ended for a moment and looked towards Annie, “if you can easily beat Reiner in a fight, how was he ranked above you in the graduating class?”

Reiner looked like he was about to contest the ‘easily’ comment; Annie answered, “teamwork,” she started, “that, and he’s a better leader. In Marley, they value independence among Warriors, but in Paradis, it’s more about cooperation. I’m difficult to work with.”

Again it looked like the boys were going to try to contest it, but she just took a sip from her glass in an attempt to silence their strange need to insist that they enjoyed her presence. Reiner, however, was the only one who didn’t contest it.

“Though I wouldn’t say you don’t work well in a team _all_ the time, you get in moods for sure,” Reiner agreed.

She just shrugged, “I have a short patience.”

They locked eyes, and she could see on his face that they were both thinking the same thing, the same conversations that she repeated over and over about wanting to go home, about how his plan was destined to fail, and his constant insistence that she needed to rest from time to time. She was difficult when she wanted to be and was easier to get along with when she was tired but not exhausted. It was a fine line to walk. 

Reiner, Pieck and Jean, who sat across from the rest of them at the table, all glanced over her shoulder at the same second. As they did it, Annie went to look back, but Reiner met her eyes purposefully. She could tell out of the corner of her eye that Armin hadn’t noticed the sudden shift in the attention of those around him.

However, Armin’s attention being focused on his tea instead of on the others across the table made it entirely possible for Hitch to sneak up behind him from the other side of the decorative fence. With a rolled-up newspaper as a megaphone, she shouted a sudden, “ _Congratulations!_ ” right into Armin’s ear, scaring the hell out of him. 

“Hitch! What was that for?” Armin startled, cringing away from the paper.

“You say that like you don’t want to see me, I’m offended,” she said as she leaned against the fence with her arm, “at least Annie is glad to see me, aren’t you?”

Annie nodded and said a simple, “yea.”

She knew Hitch; that was really all she needed. Somehow, during all of the training and then her short tenure with the Military Police, Hitch had become one of the first friends Annie had ever made on her own accord. They’d been assigned as roommates, but that hadn’t been the catalyst of their friendship. Somehow, despite having an entire group of new recruits in the brigade, Boris, Hitch, and Marlow had become something of _real_ friends to her. Hitch most of all. 

“See?” Hitch grinned at her, “I saw you guys here, so I decided to come say hi.”

Armin nodded before his expression shifted to quizzical, “and what do you mean by _congratulations_?”

“I actually saw you guys a while back there,” she gestured over her shoulder without even looking back, “but I had to drop something off to headquarters, so I didn’t say anything till I looped back now. I saw you and Annie holding hands, guess you finally worked up the nerve to tell her how you feel? Or- was it that you could hear him the whole time, Annie?”

The casual way that she said had caused Armin to flush immediately, but Annie remained unbothered as she looked towards Hitch, “it was a bit of both,” she said. 

“Well, you’re _going_ to have to tell me everything when we go for pie,” Hitch added, though she was snickering at how red Armin had gone, “good for both of you.”

“Do you have to be so blunt?” Armin asked, though there was no real anger or upset in his voice; he was just embarrassed. 

“Yes. Though,” she looked towards Reiner and pointed a finger at him, “you must be Reiner then, right? The one who was writing Annie letters?”

“Again! How did we not _know_?” Connie grumbled, throwing his hands up, “there was a _paper trail?_ ”

Mikasa put a hand on his shoulder to settle him but said nothing as Reiner just nodded. He said a simple, “yeah.”

“I genuinely thought _you_ were Annie’s frontline boyfriend when I saw her reading your letters,” Hitch said, “I guess I was wrong.”

That startled Reiner, but Annie had already heard the theory. Both Connie and Jean snorted at the comment, and Reiner only said an urgent, “absolutely not,”

“What? You don’t like cute blondes?” Hitch teased, raising an eyebrow suggestively, “perhaps you’re looking for someone a little less gloomy?”

As she said it, Annie caught the moment Reiner’s eyes shifted off Hitch towards their side of the table, but the moment of silence before he gathered himself from the surprise of her comment had allowed her to add.

“I’m kidding, that’d be breaking every girl-code rule,” Hitch responded but began to reach into her pocket, pulling out the rose hairpiece she’d gifted her when she’d thought Annie was going on dates. She reached over the fence, having to fully stretch herself over to sloppily place it in Annie’s hair before saying, “I snatched this before they seized your belongings back then. I may have thought you’d wear it to meet Reiner, but wear it on dates with Armin instead. You’re both far too pale, so it’d stand out beautifully.”

Annie was surprised Hitch had even kept it all this time, let alone thought to prevent it from being taken with anything the Military Police seized after her arrest, “thanks,” she said, flustered a bit by the gesture.

“I gave it to you back then; it’s yours,” Hitch grinned as she leaned back and shot an amused grin back at Armin, “anyway, I have to get back to work, just decided to drop by and say hi. See all of you around,”

Everyone said some variation of “goodbye” or “see you” or simply waved as Hitch left.

\--

“Perhaps you’re looking for someone a little less gloomy?” 

As soon as Hitch said it, Connie found himself making direct eye contact with Reiner before urgently looking away as the conversation continued. The conversation with Pieck had been at the front of his mind every time he looked Reiner in the eye, and that nervous and cautiously fluttery feeling warmed his chest. 

The thought of the conversation caused Connie to glance up towards Pieck, who met his eye with a knowing smile. She nodded her head towards him, and again, raised her teacup. How she seemed to know about feelings he hadn’t even known himself to have had until she’d pointed it out, he’d never know. Yet, when he attempted to avoid her eye again by looking towards Reiner, he felt that warm and flustered feeling swell up in his chest, burning at his lungs. 

He looked away again.

It was stupid, really. All of this. He could be a good friend to Reiner, but more than that? They weren’t like Annie and Armin, who was an undeniable inevitability. The universe had arranged itself in a way that allowed for Annie and Armin to meet and fall in love, but that wasn't true for himself in any sense of that concept.

“Wait- so you two finally..?” Jean asked, not startled or joking, his tone more curious than anything.

The pair of them were already flustered enough. Armin blushed and rubbed the back of his head, “uh, yeah, I guess we did,” he said carefully.

“I kinda thought you two were already together?” Connie asked to distract himself from his mind. He was using looking at them as an excuse to avoid looking at Pieck and Reiner.

“There was never a good time,” Armin continued, looking towards Annie.

She wasn't looking at any of them as they spoke; instead, she remained focused on her pastry until Armin had looked her way. She seemed to just know that he was looking at her and shifted her eyes up to meet his. 

“I guess things have been pretty busy,” Jean conceded, “well, congratulations, though it does kinda seem like that was always going to happen. Armin’s crush on Annie is a well-documented saga.”

“That’s not true-” 

Mikasa took a sip of her water before saying, “you did think about her a lot over the four years.” 

“Yeah, can’t claim ‘not true’ on that one,” Connie added.

As he said it, though, he felt the way that Pieck seemed to smile right at his direction again knowingly. Though she was always smiling, and he was starting to think he was making up every knowing look she gave him. 

“Take caution, Armin,” Reiner warned, but he was smiling easily towards Annie, “I’d say I’d kick your ass for hurting her, but _she’d_ be able to do that just fine herself. If not better.”

Annie must have kicked him under the table cause he flinched back and shouted. When he met her eye, they looked seconds away from challenging each other, but as soon as she raised a single eyebrow at him, their expressions softened. She gave the shadow of a smile towards Reiner, and he shot a playful grin straight back.

For a while, after they got back, Connie had momentarily wondered if the two of them were together. There was an ease about how they worked together, and in the earliest days of the Rumbling, after reuniting, they’d seemed so close all of a sudden. After Jean had beaten Reiner up over Marco, she’d placed her cloak under his head as a pillow to make him more comfortable. When the Yeagerites tried to use the anti-titan rods on Annie, Reiner had taken the hit for her without hesitation. 

He could admit there was a curiosity then, but he’d found himself thinking about how the two of them interacted after Pieck had claimed _he_ was somehow into Reiner. Now, he realizes he’d been entirely wrong. 

As they continued to talk over lunch, Connie found himself dwelling on the idea in his head with every interaction Reiner had with anyone. Maybe Pieck was right? Maybe she’d somehow seen his feelings for Reiner before _he_ had himself?

If that was true, he didn’t have the first idea how to handle it.


	16. It's Not Your Fault I Ruin Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Zeke meant before.

###### Before The Paradis Mission

_Annie was not known for being someone who tolerated being walked all over. She’d been a quiet kid, stuck to herself and stayed out of conversations as much as she could in any situation. At only nine years old, she was among the youngest Warrior Cadets, but none of this meant that she was a pushover._

_Even with the Marleyan Military officials who attempted to lord themselves over the group of kids, she wasn't a good liar, and she was worse at keeping her disdain off her face. It got her in trouble more than enough to warrant her being beaten to death or entirely barred from the Military, but she was too good to let go of._

_That, and she wasn't a “problem child,” just an Eldian girl who struggled to keep how she felt off her face._

_Marleyan’s needed less to believe they had the right to beat, attack, and sometimes kill completely innocent Eldian’s. Children included. More often than not, they were **looking** for a reason to be angry with the Eldian Unit and even the in-training Warrior Unit from time to time._

_This had been one of those times._

_Again, Annie hadn’t bowed at the shoes of the Marleyan soldiers she’d mistakenly gotten in the path of on her way back to the barracks. It was a simple mistake; she’d been moving quickly while watching the path she was walking to avoid not seeing grasshoppers and crickets. This year, they’d been particularly present. Unfortunately, in her haste and mild distraction, she’d stepped out of the way of the Marleyan Soldiers a moment too late._

_The soldier needed nothing else to escalate the issue with an accusatory, “what do you think you’re doing?”_

_She didn’t apologize; she said nothing, just stood out of the way and tried to avoid meeting his eye so that he didn’t see the annoyance there. It was a trick Zeke had taught her; keep her head down and her expression out of sight, and to some, she looked ashamed._

_“Answer when someone asks you something!” He barked and grabbed her by the front of her uniform._

_Instinct had kicked in, and she’d grabbed his arm, preparing to twist it or his thumb until he let go of her. Until she thought better of it, these were two grown 30-something-year-old Military Soldiers who were carrying rifles and currently holding her just off the ground enough to barely allow her to touch. She was a nine-year-old._

_Some battles were better left unfought, her father had taught her that, and she was pretty sure this is what he meant. If she attempted to fend off Marleyan Soldiers, she’d be killed without hesitation, Warrior Cadet or otherwise._

_“I’m sorry,” she said, attempting - and failing - to make it sound sincere._

_He didn’t buy it and had thrown her to the ground with enough force to knock the wind out of her momentarily. It was better if they underestimated her; if they thought she was weak, they’d use less force, but she was holding back every reflex that was screaming at her to stand. She was faster than these two; she could at least get one of these two off her or break their wrists._

_They were too tall to aim for the nose, but she could try to take out their ankles._

_“I hope you are sorry, Edlian scum,” he continued, raising his foot to either kick or stomp on her where she still lay, trying to catch her breath._

_Just a second before he committed to the movement, moments before he slammed his foot down onto her, someone shouted, “wait!”_

_Zeke._

_By the time she’d managed to see him, he was skidding to a stop at her side and on his knees and doubled over in an apology. He was leaning in just the right way, however, to be between the soldiers and Annie._

_“I’m sorry if she caused any trouble; she’s so busy training to inherit one of the titans, she’s been exhausted,” he said urgently, “she’s one of the best the Marleyan Military has ever managed to produce,”_

_The praise to the military seemed to have both soldiers stand a bit straighter. Zeke had that effect on people, though Annie found that he was also just genuinely liked by the Marleyan’s. He played their games better than anyone._

_“You’ll vouch for her behaviour?” the soldier challenged._

_Zeke nodded adamantly, “her behaviour is my responsibility. I’ll be sure that she’s properly reprimanded for this incident, and it won't happen again.”_

_She wasn't sure he could even say that because it would happen the next time one of them is in a bad mood. It’ll happen the next time they were in a good mood too. It could happen just to put them in a good mood._

_They seemed satisfied with that answer, and the one who’d tried to kick her straightened out his jacket, “get her back to your barracks, and I don’t want to see her acting like this in front of her betters again.”_

_Zeke just repeated, “of course,” and “I’m sorry,” until they turned the corner and were out of sight._

_Like the spell had been broken, the pretences dropped, and he turned to her. He sat up properly, confidence and self-assurance and spite returning as it’d merely been hidden behind a curtain. He pulled her up and dusted off the back of her jacket._

_“What cowards, picking on someone so much smaller than them,” he said in a huff, “are you okay?”_

_“I’m fine,” she said, breathless still._

_She’d bruise, and her neck was red from how tight her collar had been tugged. She’d be sore where her ribs had hit the stone path for a few days, but she’d be fine._

_“Of course you are; you’re Little Annie after all,” he said as he began to get to his feet._

_As he did, however, he ushered her onto his back without even asking. She could walk, breathless and a little wound up, but he didn’t give her the chance to tell him that. He adjusted to be holding her piggy-back on his back for the walk back to the barracks._

_“They have patterns, the soldiers,” he stated, “I can teach you so that you can know how to properly approach and handle situations like that a bit better.”_

_She didn’t say anything._

_“That, or you could just learn to act like I just did?”_

_“I’m a bad liar,” she said._

_“Acting isn’t lying,”_

_She wasn't sure she agreed, but that wasn't for her to decide._

_He carried her back to their shared barracks, where everyone else was already waiting. Marcel and Porco were standing outside; they’d have seen the whole interaction. As they drew closer still, Reiner, Bertholdt, and Pieck were standing just inside the door. She hadn’t seen Zeke running to get her, but she could imagine he’d seen it happen from just in front of the Barracks and drawn the attention of the others with his sudden shout and sprint to her aide._

_“Are you okay?” Marcel asked though he looked past them before adding, “that was entirely uncalled for.”_

_Zeke set her down, and she cringed at the shift in weight against the bruise on her ribs. Though she kept the pain off her face as Zeke rested his hand around her shoulder._

_“She’s fine; she’s a tough one,” he said, and there was a fondness in his voice that surprised her. He looked at her as he continued, “isn’t that right?”_

_She nodded, meeting his eye for a moment before turning her attention away. There was a pain in her side where she’d hit the sidewalk, yes, but when she’s chosen to inherit a titan, this wouldn’t be a problem again. No injury would last, and she’d be honorary Marleyan. Though she found that she didn’t care so much about the red armband, living in the internment zone in the woods far from where the Marleyan’s bother patrolling had kept her safe enough so far._

_Really, she wasn't doing it for herself. It had been something she knew she’d be doing for years before she found herself old enough to join; it was the only path her life could take. It was neither good nor bad; it was why she even had a roof over her head since her birth parents made the mistake of getting pregnant with her._

_“Let’s get inside, though,” Zeke suggested, ushering the rest of them inside and closing the door behind them. As he did it, he patted Annie’s shoulder before drawing his hand back. He waited for everyone to get inside and begin to settle before talking to her again, “let me see your back; I want to make sure nothing’s broken.”_

_Annie had fractured bones before while training at the cottage, but never a rib. The breath had been knocked from her when she landed, which had left her breathing noticeably tighter, but as it cleared up a bit, she was pretty sure that nothing was broken. Despite her confidence, she nodded when he asked and turned her back towards him and everyone in the room. She slept in the bed tucked in the furthest corner of the room when they stayed the night in the barracks, so when she’d begun to pull her training uniform shirt off, she was facing the wall._

_“A- Annie!” Bertholdt and Porco startled from where they stood on the other side of the room._

_There was a pause where Zeke must have silenced them before he carefully put a hand on the place she’d landed on. She didn’t flinch from it, but the tender pain was impossible to ignore. The pain was the worst on her ribs, where it had become impossible to breathe too deeply without a twinge of pain._

_“That’s going to bruise pretty bad,” he said as he carefully, “take a deep breath.”_

_She took one deep breath, cringed a bit, and shifted just a bit to relieve the uncomfortable ache as she exhaled. For a moment, Zeke said nothing, just meticulously checked her ribs._

_“I’m sure they’re not broken,” he said, “I’ll check again in the morning before training, though. I don’t put it past you to have a scary pain tolerance.”_

_She nodded, just as Pieck stepped closer and handed Annie her shirt. She smiled as she did it and said a quiet, “the boys are about to explode from embarrassment.”_

_Finally, Annie looked over her shoulder without turning back. Marcel was sitting, unbothered, but the other three boys were entirely red, trying to look anywhere but at her. The sight actually gave her a moment of confusion, but the concept of modesty in this situation wasn't something she’d understood well. She was raised alone in the woods with only a guardian for company, only going out to the city when absolutely necessary._

_She pulled her shirt on._

_Zeke looked back behind him, “I forget how boys this age can be,” he sighed, patting Annie’s head as he turned to the boys, “you’re going to work with each other, get injured around each other, and need to share small spaces together. You boys are going to have to get used to it.”_

_All three of them turned away, embarrassed._

_“This won’t be the last time the Marleyan soldiers try to pull something like this until you have the red armband you have to just keep assuming that they’re not afraid to turn on you,” he said, “you’re more valuable than a citizen right now, but not by nearly enough to keep them from hurting you. On the base, we are surrounded by them more than we are as citizens; if anything, our chances of pissing them off is greater.”_

_“So what would you have us do?” Annie asked as she finished the last button and turned to sit down on her bed._

_“Well, I’d suggest lying or learning to act,” he suggested. Annie met his eye, and he added, “but I’ll teach you to avoid them entirely.”_

_She was a bad liar and a worse actor; he’d have to teach her around her weak points._

_“Are you sure you’re okay, Annie?” Bertholdt asked awkwardly._

_Marcel added an annoyed, “throwing a nine-year-old? Takes a small ego to manage that.”_

_Zeke had laughed at the comment; Annie was pretty sure it was a phrase Marcel had learned from him. Porco startled and looked towards the door frantically, “We shouldn’t be talking about them like this.”_

_“They can’t hear us in here,” Zeke assured him, sitting down next to Annie._

_Porco looked anxious again but settled his protests. Reiner looked at Annie but said nothing, and Annie ignored the question from Bertholdt entirely. She was fine; at least she would be after sleeping it off._

_Though just as she was thinking about it, Pieck looked towards her, “why don’t we go get ice? It’ll help, and you always do better when you’re moving.”_

_Annie wasn't sure how Pieck knew that, but she was right. She’d always preferred to be moving, walking it off, and had a better grasp of how bad the injury was when she was able to feel herself in motion._

_She nodded, pushing herself back onto her feet and following Pieck from the room. She could feel Zeke’s eyes on them as they left to find the Eldian medical tent, where the nurses were all Eldian and loved them._

_When they were out of earshot, Pieck looped her arm with Annie’s and said a quiet, “I think Zeke was going to talk to the boys about not treating girls’ bodies any different from their own.”_

_“You think?” Annie asked._

_“He shot them a really purposeful glare when they all blushed and got embarrassed,” Pieck shrugged, “boys this age are like that.”_

_Annie was always impressed with how mature Pieck sounded, but she figured it had to do with how much time she spent with Zeke. It wasn't common that Pieck would break the invisible barrier Annie put up between herself and the other warriors to be the “lone wolf” Zeke claimed her to be, but when she did, it seemed so easy. Pieck was just that way, they may not be particularly close, but they didn’t have to be._

_Just like everyone liked Zeke, everyone liked Pieck. They were easy to get along with in a way that Annie had never been._

_Pieck did all the talking when they arrived, and the nurses had jumped to help. They technically could, and were supposed to, go to the “better” medical facility on the base that was run by Marleyan’s. Only Warrior Cadets and full-blown Warriors had that “honour,” but they all avoided it if they could._

_Here, they were treated like family and like children. The Eldian nurses worried and doted on them and would give Annie ice without asking questions. They knew what had happened, or at least, they could assume what had happened. When an Eldian showed up with bruises and no good explanation for the source, there was no question about the cause._

_The Marleyan nurses would ask too many questions and even deny them if the injury was “deserved.” Even the kind ones were too scared to cross their superiors, and the Warrior Cadets were supposed to be treated as Marleyans, so if they were being harmed, it **should** be grounds to be discharged. It never would be._

_On the way back to the barracks, Annie held the ice in both of her hands, watching the water on the outside of the bag as it slipped up her arm in the warm evening sun. They didn’t talk on the way back, and by the time they entered the barracks, it was clear that the conversation Zeke was having with the boys had just ended._

_“Welcome back,” Zeke smiled from where he still sat on Annie’s bed, “how was the walk back? Feeling okay?”_

_Annie just nodded, and when he extended his hands for the ice, she handed it to him and sat down. He urged her to lay down, and he carefully set a folded pillowcase on the spot on her back where the bruise would form and held the bag of ice there until it could stay there on its own without falling._

_For the six of them, the younger six who were barely old enough to hit puberty, Zeke had taken over the role of guardian while they were away from their families. It made sense, and he’d taken to the role of “big brother” readily. Whether he was a good guardian or not, Annie had no frame of reference, but he’d put himself between her and Marleyan soldiers without hesitation today._

_Even if she may have been able to defend herself from the kick, she was too small, too young, and at the time she’d been unarmed, she’d only be able to hold her own for so long. She trained specifically to defend herself from larger opponents, but Mr. Leonhardt had trained her to avoid escalating the situation in a situation like this one. Even winning would’ve meant losing; within this Military Base, it didn’t matter if she was defending herself or otherwise._

_Her impressive ability to take on opponents twice her age and experience was not something she’d be praised for. Not unless she turned that ability onto Marleyan’s enemies, like Paradis._

_Zeke seemed confident that she’d be doing just that in a little less than three years. Her position had been guaranteed the second she’d joined the Warrior Unit, completely able to beat the other warriors her age in nearly every trial thrown at her and break a grown man’s knees without so much as breaking a sweat._

###### Years After the Rumbling

Annie lay back in bed, her head on Reiner’s bicep as he slept soundly next to her. The night after they’d spent the afternoon at the cafe was the first that Pieck hadn’t come to sleep in their room instead of her father’s.

Things were slowly getting back to some degree of normal, but Annie couldn’t shake the weighted feeling that had settled on her since seeing him in the cell.

She almost couldn’t believe that the Zeke who sat behind those bars was the same man who’d once carried them on his back or in his arms when they got hurt on the base. He’d been the one to teach them how to pander to the Marleyan’s to avoid being punished or hurt by them. He’d once stayed up the whole night when a particularly nasty flu had wiped all six of them out during the earliest months of training as they adjusted to the new germs they were around.

At the time, none of them had known what he’d done to his parents. Yet, she may have understood it then, if he’d been given no choice and his parents were going to bring the rest of his family down with them, she could understand now. The few times she met his grandparents, it was very clear that they loved him more than anything, and she’d begun to understand wanting to protect that. 

The difference was like night and day to her, and she could see the weight of the betrayal in both Pieck and Reiner. Even as Reiner had drifted off, he’d held his arm around her with purpose instead of just letting her use it as a pillow-like she usually did. He’d been sleeping longer, too, and had even cursed Zeke for Bertholdt’s death in his sleep.

Annie just didn’t sleep much at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all your kind words and continued support, it's honestly a miracle I'm still getting even one chapter a day up at this point but I'm so glad I've kept up with it :)   
> Some of the next chapters have some heavier edits to make, but I'll still aim to get at least one up a day until I get to chapter 21 (the epilogue)
> 
> Enjoy~


	17. Fatal Flaw That Makes You Long to be Magnificently Cursed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The normal moments in the storm.

###### The Next Days

The Marleyan’s were scheduled to leave less than a week after what had been the day the assassination attempt had been made. However, with the state of things, they’d been asked to extend their trip and remain in Paradis due to the state of things. 

Thus, the Scouts closest to Historia had one final meeting before they’d wrap up the affairs with the Marleyan Military and send them on their way.

The meeting had drawn long; they were stuck on the details of negotiation and the blank spots of information that the Warriors had never been allowed to about the average Military Affairs. In an attempt to avoid them all burning out on the tedious and often meticulous conversations and debates, they took a break. 

It wouldn’t be a long one, just enough for them to get a coffee, run to the bathroom, or take a walk around the courtyard to shake the tension of the meeting off. As they wrapped up, Armin was still leaning over a notebook jotting down thoughts, details and - as far as Annie could discern, he was transcribing the whole meeting.

She leaned forward a bit to catch his eye, drawing his attention by gently placing her hand on his arm, “I’m going to get some air, come with me?”

“Oh- sure, one sec,” he turned to finish the sentence he was writing and closed his notebook.

If left unchecked, she was pretty sure he was going to work through the break and probably until he fell asleep in the study again. 

When he finished, he began to stand and offer her his hand when Reiner broke the quiet of the meeting room. He was entirely looking at Connie as he moved to get to his feet, “hey cutie, want to come get everyone coffee with me?”

He said it so casually that for a moment, Annie hadn’t noticed anything strange. It was Jean’s strangled laugh over his glass of water, followed by choked sputtering of water as he attempted to cough it out of his lungs, that made her register the sentence again. 

Cutie? Reiner seemed entirely oblivious to what he’d just said and looked confused as Jean continued to laugh over the table. By then, Pieck’s expression had turned entirely amused, and she was politely hiding her own laughter behind her hand.

Connie, for his part, was entirely silent and went ghost white before a flush of red creeped up his neck and into his cheeks. 

When Annie met Mikasa’s unsurprised and entirely amused expression, both girls had to stifle a chuckle themselves as the shock of the sentence hit everyone.

“Cutie, eh? Didn’t know you thought about Connie like that,” Jean managed as he caught his breath, still grinning so wide it looked like it hurt. 

“We shouldn’t tease him for a simple slip up,” Pieck added, though she looked entirely amused and in a way knowing as she added, “I’m sure Reiner just thinks everyone is cute.” 

As she said it, she looked towards Connie, and something silently passed between them that caused him to go two shades redder. Annie hadn’t thought it was possible for him to somehow get that flushed, and part of her felt bad for him. Not enough, however, to keep herself from chuckling.

_Had that been an accident?_

Connie stood urgently, not meeting any of their eyes as he just made for the door and said a noticeably forced, “sure, let’s go get coffee,” before adding a pointed, “and leave these vultures to their cackling.”

When he left the room, Annie was pretty sure Connie was thinking of ways to tamper with their coffee. She was pretty sure, thankfully, that he hadn’t seen or heard her laugh over the sound of Jean’s choking.

Reiner was short to follow, leaving the room in the wake of the little slip-up.

For a moment, no one said anything at all, and Annie just squeezed Armin’s hand to draw back his attention. Interruption or otherwise, she still wanted to get some air.

“Do you have any pet names like ‘cutie’ for each other?” Jean asked, looking right at Annie and Armin before they got the chance to slip out. He was still grinning. 

“Uh- no, not really-,” Armin said, startled by the question and looking at Annie.

“Are we supposed to?” She asked.

Jean laughed, and it looked like he was going to say something when Armin quickly added, “it depends on the person- let’s go.”

She gave an amused breath but let him take her by the hand out to the courtyard. They walk the partially enclosed path that circles the courtyard leisurely, taking their time and only enjoying each other’s company in relative quiet.

When they’d made it a third of the way around the courtyard, Armin broke the quiet, “does Reiner like Connie? Like- I mean as more than friends.”

“I honestly don’t know,” she started, “I barely understood my own feelings until recently, and for the longest time, I thought Reiner felt that way about Historia.”

Armin laughed at the mention of that well-known crush, “yeah, I think everyone likes Historia, at least to some degree.” 

“It’s been long enough, and we don’t talk about each other’s love life particularly much,” she paused her thought before finishing, “that’s not true; he used to be really nosey about Bertholdt’s feelings for me, before. I never really engaged in his ‘subtle’ hints and prods, so he stopped.”

The mention of Bertholdt caused Armin to tense, his hand going rigid in hers and his eyes shifting away. They hadn’t talked about Bertholdt, not since he’d told her that Bertholdt was dead before she’d gotten out of the Crystal. Reiner talked about him with her from time to time, but they avoided the topic with their friends. Bertholdt, Marco, Levi’s old squad, and Eren were all some degree of taboo among them now. 

There was too much to unpack, and it wasn't the time, so she tugged his hand a bit in an attempt to shake him from whatever thoughts he was having about Bertholdt. 

“I think Reiner has the ability to find some kind of love in almost anyone,” she continued, “and Connie is a lot like him in terms of their stupid sense of humour and outgoing personalities. I’ll admit, though, that I don’t know the first thing about what makes people work in a relationship.”

“Me neither,” Armin said. The shadow of Bertholdt seemed to still be in his expression, but he smiled and chuckled when he looked at her, “that’s probably a good thing to have in common.”

“We wouldn’t know,” she responded, entirely neutrally, but the moment Armin laughed at the comment, she found herself trying not to show her amusement. 

They managed to reach the opposite side of the courtyard from the meeting room as they talked idly. Neither Connie nor Reiner had passed them to return to the meeting room, and they hadn’t seen Levi come back either, so they paused in a small spot of sun next to a pillar. 

“I’m not sure they’ll come back to the meeting,” Annie said as she leaned her back against the beam.

Armin looked towards the door, “you think?” 

Annie just shrugged, “if they do, Connie will have spit in Jean’s coffee.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s done that before,” Armin added, “but they both know they have to come back; we at the very least need Reiner.”

She nodded as they lapsed into a comfortable quiet for a moment, watching the closed meeting door from where they stood relatively out of sight. Annie had grown fond of the courtyard since moving to Paradis and was always glad to break from hours of discussions to stand in this little world of flowers, trees, and comfortable silence. 

She could admit that she liked it more when it was just her and Armin. The others could get loud, rowdy, and a little exhausting, and there were rare silences among the group when they were all together. With Armin, she could slip into these quiet moments where they both just enjoyed the sun and waited for the meeting to start again.

Though, she was pretty sure that this time they were more interested in waiting to see if Connie and Reiner came back. She wasn't sure if they’d talk about the slip-up when they were out looking for coffee, but she was pretty sure they’d be able to tell from even this distance. 

Armin kept her hand in his, even as he stood across from her with their attentions at different points in the courtyard. This close, she could hear his calm, deep breaths over the quiet birds and rustled leaves within the courtyard.

Moments before the sound of footsteps rounding the corner reached them, Armin had turned to her and pushed her bangs back out of her eyes. She’d looked up at him at the motion, but the sound of conversation followed the footsteps, and both of them turned their attention to the source. 

Reiner held two trays of coffee in paper mugs, Connie held the single coffee that didn’t fit on the trays and a bag of what Annie could only assume was creamers and sugar. That was their cue to start heading back towards the meeting room, but both of them stayed where they were and watched as Reiner and Connie made their way towards the door.

She was impressed with their confidence.

“I will kick Jean’s ass if he has anything else to say,” Connie was saying softly, mock ‘kicking’ the air as he said it. Reiner only laughed, but he wasn't given the chance to say anything before Connie was adding, “you should have let me put salt in his coffee.”

“Tampering with another man’s coffee is grounds for murder,” Reiner said, “he would’ve been able to tell right away.”

“That’s kinda the point,” 

Reiner shook his head, “you have to do something more subtle.”

“He’s expecting me to spit in his coffee, and that’s been done before,” Connie went on as if he hadn’t heard the suggestion at all before adding, “is kicking him in the shin under the table ‘more subtle’?”

“You’d have to ask Annie that,”

That got Connie to laugh as he pushed open the door with his back and entered the room without so much as a moment to hesitate.

Armin shrugged, “they seem to be getting along just fine, despite it.”

“We didn’t have much faith in their maturity,” Annie added, pushing herself off the pillar.

“I guess so,” Armin agreed, “though I’m pretty sure Connie wasn't kidding about getting back at Jean.”

She nodded but drew her eyes back to Armin as they ran out of time before they should be back in the meeting. Armin sensed her eye and turned his own attention to her, giving her the opportunity to draw up high enough to kiss him once. He’d stopped startling when she kissed him, just as she’d grown used to when he kissed her as they’d gotten used to being alone together like this. In a way, it was like they were catching up for the years of wasted time and being too awkward or afraid to talk to each other.

They only took a moment longer for themselves, but the sight of Levi heading back towards the room was their ‘final call’ back to the meeting. 

When the meeting resumed, Jean did, in fact, find himself with a pretty sore shin. 

\--

Annie hadn’t realized she’d stopped having constant nightmares until she’d been woken up by the sound of Marco screaming for his life. Her whole body flinched, and she’d taken in a strangled breath before she could stifle the sound. 

When she sat up, letting the sheets fall around her waist and onto her lap, she could tell through the curtains that she’d at least slept through most of the night. It was dark, but only in the way the morning before the sun rose over the horizon was. The sky had begun to lighten into a grey as the morning drew closer to dawning. 

She was exhausted, but she couldn’t get herself back to sleep. She couldn’t even lay back down; she instead sat up, her knees pulled up to her chest and looking at her hands in the darkness. 

In the hours it took for the sun to rise, she stayed where she was, looking out the window. She sat there for so long she didn’t notice when Reiner began to rise on the other side of the room.

“Have you been up for a while?” Reiner asked. 

Annie turned her attention to him when he spoke, but only for a moment before shifting to look at the sunrise again, “yeah.”

Part of her didn’t want to talk to him; part of her wanted to be angry with him. She was angry with him because she was exhausted, had stayed up because of a nightmare caused by his orders. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to actually hate him or be genuinely mad at him. She’d wanted to kill him for a lot of things, and not the least of which had been how he’d treated her that day, but she couldn’t blame him. 

It was impossible to blame him, especially when he came over to sit next to her on her bed and put an arm around her. He drew her to his side, leaning down to rest his head on hers without saying a word. It was better for that; the memory of Marco’s death was too close now; it was right there behind her eyes with every blink. If Reiner spoke, she was worried she’d truly lose it.

They say like that without a word until it was about the time they always got ready. As if it were any other day, they got ready and headed downstairs to meet the others for breakfast. Reiner was good at this much; he knew her well enough to know that she didn’t want him, or anyone, to speak to her. She just needed to work the worst of the nightmare and guilt off, she’d probably need to go train and blow off steam at some point, but she didn’t want to talk.

On the way down the stairs, she’d pulled her hood over her head entirely and stuffed her fists in her pockets before they’d even made it to meet the others at the table. She was never the best at hiding her moods, and she was worse when she was tired, so it took all of three seconds for her to be sitting down at the table for the others to notice.

“Hey- Annie, what gives?” Jean asked, half-joking and leaning over the table onto his elbow.

Mikasa gave him a sharp elbow to the arm and shoved his plate in front of him. She didn’t say anything, but Annie got the distinct impression that she was telling him to shut up. 

“She had a rough night, didn’t sleep well,” Reiner said, calmly and there was a levity in his voice she figured was entirely for her sake. Jokingly, he rested an arm on her head, and she considered breaking his wrist, “she’s fine.”

“You should eat something,” Mikasa suggested.

Armin nodded frantically, “it’ll help you wake up, even if you’re too tired to be hungry right now.”

The thought of food was nauseating, but she nodded her thanks to Connie as he slid a plate over to her. She had full intentions to only eat enough to get the attention off her and put the bread down. That much, she could do.

“Were you not feeling well?” Jean asked, “or rough night as in nightmares?”

The guilt hit her all at once, and she averted her eyes and lowered her head. The cold started at her heart, settled in her stomach and ballooned through her whole body as the guilt hit her like a tidal wave. 

Jean and Marco had been so close; she’d had a hand in taking that away from him. Would he have made it this far? Would he still be alive? She probably wouldn’t be, for what he heard. Neither would Reiner if they hadn’t killed him after he heard. What if he’d never overheard them? Or if they were better actors and convinced him that he was hearing things? 

There were a lot of what if’s that only served to make the grief and guilt greater. Her stomach knotted itself together. She hated herself for feeling this way, too, for feeling grief for a boy she killed. For feeling shame that the man she’d robbed of a best friend was across from her, asking her if she was okay and if she’d had a nightmare.

The nightmare had been about him. About the boy, she’d stolen from all the people who now called her friend. 

She sat without answering him for a long moment before formulating something that she hoped would get them off her back, “there are a lot of things to lose sleepover,.”

Maybe it was how long she’d been silent for, how still she went, or how she couldn’t look Jean in the eye, but she somehow gave herself away through only one sentence alone. The whole table silenced, and she looked at her hands in her own lap.

“Marco wasn't the type to hold a grudge,” Jean said lowly, “did you just ignore me when I told you to forgive yourself for it?”

She searched for the words, hoping that the conversation would shift to Reiner again. It didn’t and all she said was a hollowed, stiff, “I’m not a good person,” it was the only thing she knew for certain about herself, “there is nothing to forgive.”

“You’re not an idiot, Annie,” Jean argued, “but you’re being dense.”

He looked like he was going to say something else, but from behind her hood, she gave him a hard stare, glancing at Reiner out of sight. Only Reiner, who sat at her side, couldn’t see it. His mind was most fragile about this subject in particular, and they both avoided talking about it for various reasons. There was no changing it, but Jean didn’t have to know that she’d change nothing if it meant getting to see her father again.

Even while Marco’s death had seemed so meaningless at the time. 

The conversation died, and for the first time since that first visit to Paradis, they fell into a tense uncomfortable silence again.

Jean let the conversation stay dead until they were finally dismissed for the day, and Annie attempted to slip off to go sit with her father for the rest of the evening. Mr. Leonhardt intimidated most of her friends, and in part, she could admit that it was part of her motive for urgently wanting to go sit with him. She was pretty sure she’d be left alone. 

That, and when she needed to be alone, her father didn’t count. She could be alone with him, and it felt entirely comfortable, like being alone entirely. They didn’t need to speak, and they didn’t need to even really do anything; they could just sit and drink tea in each other’s presence and be entirely at ease. 

That was exactly what she needed the moment Jean grabbed her wrist and asked her to hang back as everyone separated to go about the rest of their day. Reiner entirely distracted by Connie.

She tugged her hand back and turned to him; she’d hoped to avoid exactly this. Instead, she’d found herself confronted by it. 

“Hey, I’m not trying to corner you,” Jean said, instinctively putting his hands up when she’d tugged free, “we just need to talk.”

“There isn’t much else to say,” she responded, “I helped Reiner kill your best friend-”

“Don’t,” he shot back, his whole body tense and his jaw locked. It looked like he was between wanting to punch her and wanting to scream, “don’t force people away like that when they’re giving you the opportunity to be redeemed.”

“Some people aren’t worthy of redemption,” Annie challenged, crossing her arms and steeling her expression, “all of this is too much as is, living here at all.”

Jean took a steadying breath. It occurred to her that she’d never seen him take a steading anything; he’d always been too trigger-happy, too short-fused, and ready for a fight. Now he was fighting every instinct to keep himself calm and level-headed as he talked to the girl who’d stolen the only means of escape Marco could’ve had from the titan that killed him. She’d damned him.

After a moment, he spoke again, “I’m not just trying to get past it for your sake, I’m also doing it for my own,” he started, “because otherwise, I’d have to hate myself for hating the three of you when you were so desperate that you believed that your only option was to kill the people you’d spent so much time training with.”

She glared at the floor to avoid his eye.

“And I can’t live with that guilt, not when I’m already living with the grief of Marco’s death,” Jean continued, “and there’s too much I can’t blame on people. It sucks, but I’m used to it, and I’m done blaming people. I miss Sasha every single day, but I can’t blame a kid who’d just watched Eren and us kill her friends, destroy her home, and leave with little consequence. It’s the same with you, because I miss Marco every day, even though he’s been gone longer than I really knew him now, but that’s not… I can’t blame teenagers who believed they would die if they went home.”

“What does this have to do with how I feel?” she shot back, unintentionally cold, but she couldn’t correct it, “we did it once before, but because we didn’t know anyone, we felt nothing. We did it a second time because we needed to get closer to the capitol and smoke out the founding titan because I wanted to go home to my father.” 

“It has everything to do with how you feel, Annie,” he tried, and she could see him getting frustrated, “I already told Reiner that I couldn’t stop blaming you if you can’t forgive yourselves!”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Then talk to us about it,” Jean continued, “because we were there, we were on the other side of it. We saw what happened, we fought like hell and lost friends, but we don’t blame you for any of it; we blame Marley.”

When she didn’t respond, he added, “I’d missed hanging out with you, I know we can’t go back to that, but we have to be mature enough as adults now to just talk this out.”

Annie couldn’t look at him at that, the words striking her right where the hurt of her nightmares still stung. Somewhere in her head, she knew he was right, but it still felt like something they’d actively chosen to do. They’d planned for so long before doing it, went through so many different options, had considered every route before deciding that they’d choose the one that ended up resulting in the deaths of so many classmates. Not just Marco either, Mina and Thomas and people Annie had never known the name of. They’d sat at the same dinner table, they’d shared the same barracks, they’d cheered each other on and lived with each other, and they’d died as a result of the decision of people they thought were comrades.

And Annie didn’t think she felt guilty enough. She should want to change it, to go back and undo it, but she doesn’t. She couldn’t because she’s selfish. If it meant getting to see her father again, to go home again, she’d do it again. It was all she could have thought about then, and as she got older, she realized just how cruel it had been of her. Even if she’d never had anything before, even if she wanted to keep her promise, even if she would have been killed for turning around and going home too early, it would’ve been the good thing to do. A good person would have died, would have turned around and died instead of killing innocent people. 

“Would you have done it?” Annie asked, “any of it?”

Jean was quiet for a long time at that question. When he spoke, he looked pained, “before what we did to Liberio; I would’ve said no,” he started, “but 11-year-olds don’t make the decision to commit genocide, and if it meant getting home to my mother, there is little I wouldn’t do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post a chapter today but in the wake of the newest chapter of the manga (that came out conspicuously early?) I felt as though I had to.  
> This fic can now be seen as a fix-it fic.  
>  _say sike rn Hajime Isayama_


	18. My Pain Fits in the Palm of Your Freezing Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three moments of peace, love, and flustered obliviousness.

###### A Month Later

Annie would never admit to avoiding Hitch’s requests for a pie date, but her social battery had been running on empty since coming to live full-time in Paradis, so it’d been a low priority for a long time. 

However, the time eventually came where Annie found that she was probably better off meeting Hitch for sweets than the alternative. Reiner and Pieck had been talking about going to have lunch with Zeke sometime soon, and Annie didn’t want to think about it until it happened. She was notorious for planning and being completely prepared for things, but Annie shut down that part of her brain when something unpleasant was coming up. 

She’d done it before the attempt to kidnap Eren, which was why she hadn’t really had a backup plan for if Reiner hadn’t figured out that it was a trap to find the snake. It was also what she’d done before Trost and Stohess. It wasn't that she hadn’t planned, but she hadn’t planned for the worst-case because that would have to assume that everything was going wrong and she was already killing people. That and worst-case scenario often meant that she wasn't going to get home anytime soon.

She wasn't an optimist; it wasn't optimism that was keeping her from thinking about Zeke now or those events then; it was pure pessimism. She had full faith that things would go to hell, but she was a quick thinker on her feet. Instead of working herself up to be planning for the worst, she found it a lot more effective just to assume it would go wrong, plan as if it wasn't, and trust her instincts when it did go to hell.

Back in those days especially, because she trusted her own instincts better than any of Reiner’s plans. 

So, instead of thinking about the impending visit to Zeke, she decided it was about time to start paying back her long-overdue debt with Hitch.

She met Hitch near the Military Police Brigade Headquarters. It was inaccurate to say that she was by any means at the base, however, as she’d taken careful measures to avoid being close enough for any superiors to see her. Her “transgressions” were considered quite the _scandal_ for the brigade and had landed her in an unfavourable position among any members who served long enough or survived long enough to remember her. 

Hitch, for her part, had brushed a lot of it under the rug. Throughout a few of the interactions they’d had since Annie moved back, Hitch had decided to bar conversation of anything to do with the time they spent apart. It was fair, neither of them was good at talking, and both were too eager to pretend it hadn’t happened.

Technically, Annie had never done anything to Hitch. She’d actually said something along the lines of “ _take those issues up with the Survey Corp idiots, it’s not our problem,_ ” and dropped it at that. Armin told her that Zeke had killed Marlowe, so she avoided conversation about him just as well. 

Annie waited with her back to the base, at a bridge over the river, until she heard her friend’s tell-tale, “afternoon, Annie.”

“Good afternoon,” she responded as she turned back around towards her.

It was already getting into fall, so she wasn't particularly surprised to see Hitch in a knit sweater and a longer skirt. It wasn't often they met outside of work hours, but she was glad to see that her friend hadn’t lost that _girly_ fashion with her position as a senior officer or the maturity that’d come with it. 

She took Annie by the arm after only slowing her steps, never actually stopping, as she led them both towards the cafe, “tell me those Survey Corp friends of yours aren’t asking too much of you?”

“Not more than usual,” Annie responded.

“Well, you look exhausted,” Hitch proclaimed with all the almost brutal-honesty that Annie had always respected, “though I guess that isn’t new.”

Annie shrugged, “that's just how I look.”

“You know, if you let me put some makeup on you, I could actually fix that,”

“There isn’t much reason for that in everyday life,” Annie countered passively.

“True, it’s a bit too involved for even me every morning,” Hitch smiled and playfully flicked her hair over her shoulder, “good thing I’m _naturally_ pretty.”

Annie made an amused heh but left her response at that alone. They came up upon the small cafe shortly after anyway; Hitch had told her that this one hadn’t existed before the Rumbling. Instead, another cafe that had been owned by the current owner's father, who’d died when the walls had given way to the Titans at the beginning of the Rumbling. According to Hitch, the daughter had restarted the cafe in a new spot under the same name, in honour of him.

Somehow, Annie had no idea how Hitch had come across any of this information. Her friend had changed a lot in the four years she was in the crystal, and the two years since the Rumbling, she’d somehow continued that momentum and only changed more. 

It made Annie feel stunted, in a way, though that feeling wasn't exclusive to being around Hitch. 

When they’d properly settled, and Hitch had taken her first sip of tea, she spoke again, “so how have things been, now that you’re back and settled?”

Annie shrugged, “better than how we left Marley,” she responded before adding, “though, the Scouts have horrible luck, so things are often busy or chaotic.”

That got a good laugh out of Hitch that forced her to set her tea down and knock her fist against the table a couple of times, “they really do, don’t they?”

“They can’t help it,”

“They could at least try to help it,” Hitch challenged, “they fly into danger _willingly_ like moths to a flame.”

Nodding, Annie took a careful sip of her tea before Hitch spoke again.

“It’s why the two of us were better suited for the Military Police,” she started, “not because we were lazy like I originally thought, but because we actually _value_ our continued existence beyond the near decade-long dick-measuring contest; between the members of the scouts.”

It always surprised Annie how easily Hitch could make her laugh or amuse her. She smiled over her mug, releasing a breathy laugh. That only seemed to boost Hitch’s ego, though, and her friend just grinned over her water towards her.

Annie regretted laughing at all. 

“Well anyway,” Hitch grumbled, “the superiors have been the worst lately because of it, though. Since the security breach on the palace, which is technically our domain, they’ve had all of us running around like crazy. You were the ones to help take down the would-be assassins, right?”

“You should probably tell your superiors to put someone on the roof,” Annie suggested, “Reiner and I got in there, and so did some of the Marleyan’s that day.”

“The _roof?_ How?”

“From the southside building, the one with the tallest extension and long overhang,” Annie said passively as the waiter came and set the pies on the table in front of them, “we jumped from it when the patrol wasn't looking up.”

“ _From the building?_ ” Hitch choked on her water as she spoke and was forced to cough into a handkerchief, “well, of course, there is no one that would get in that way. Are you crazy? The jump is too long-”

Annie had never thought about it, and as soon as Hitch had said it, she paused with the fork still in her mouth, pie on it, “if you take it in a roll, without hesitation-”

“Without hesitation? How did you not break a bone? Or _miss?_ ”

She realized as Hitch continued her shock that it had never crossed her mind that the jump could have been lethal. Though as the thought crossed her mind, she realized that it hadn’t crossed her mind for the same reason she’d fainted only days later. Warriors were raised to act as though their bodies weren’t a factor because any damage done could be healed by the titan shifting ability. A lifetime of being raised like that, nearly two decades of being entirely unconcerned with their own bodies, had left them without self-preservation skills.

Zeke must have made the plan. 

“That’s just how we were trained, I guess,” was all Annie could say.

Hitch’s expression was a mix between horrified and impressed before she just sighed and took a large bite of her pie, chewed, and swallowed, “never do that again,” she said, pointing her fork at Annie, “because now I know how you did it, so it would be on me to prevent it from happening again because it’s still a breach in security, and because I don’t want someone to come ruin my beauty sleep to tell me that my idiot ex-roommate has broken her whole body falling off the roof of the palace.”

For the rest of their day together, Annie thought about exactly that. About how she hadn’t realized that if something were to happen to her, it wouldn’t be just an official statement of death and the notice to the next of kin. Here, if something happened to her, there would be a collection of people to be told. Armin would run to find Hitch, and someone would need to tell her father, Karina, Reiner and Pieck. Even the others, the people she believed didn’t even owe her anything, Mikasa, Jean and Connie, someone would tell them.

That alone, the chain of information turning into something that looked more like a web of people to find, was something she’d never considered before. There was no longer the chain of command alone, though it still existed and always would; even the simple cause and effect created by Hitch wanting Armin to tell her was enough.

Maybe it had been there since she came to Paradis; maybe she’d been the one to break it by being too selfish to consider stopping the mission. Either way, as she found herself walking back to the palace, she finally understood a fundamental belief that Armin had told her once in the earliest days after the Rumbling.

_Maybe there is more to life than missions and destinies. Perhaps, she’d been born to watch Amin study over candlelight, to eat lunch with the Scouts, and to eat too much pie with Hitch._

\--

Annie found Armin as soon as she left Hitch for the night.

He was where she always knew to find him during the mid-evening hours or later; the study.

Like always, when she entered, he was sitting in the cushioned chair that looked too meticulously designed for a piece of furniture that, as far as Annie could tell, was only ever used by her and Armin. It was most definitely made for one person; while she entered, Armin was sitting against the arm with his knees bunched between himself and the other arm of the chair.

He didn’t seem to notice the sound of the door opening; he never did. He was always so captured by whatever he was reading, and it was one of Annie’s favourite things about him. 

Whenever he was reading, whether it be here, bathed in the warm glow of the candle on the desk beside him, or in the basement cell she spent four years in, his expression was always the same. His eyebrows knit together with concentration, creasing the place between them as his eyes scanned the page at a careful patient pace. Like he was taking in every piece of punctuation just as much as the words themselves. 

She could see it clearly in her mind when age started to catch up to all of them, that he’d start to wrinkle there in the place between his eyebrows. 

Even as she crossed the room to him, closing the door behind her as she went, he didn’t lookup. He flipped the page like he couldn’t wait one more moment to get the next piece of information. When she could see the title, she wasn't surprised to find that he’d read this particular book a dozen times. 

“Move over,” she said softly, nudging his knee to get his attention while she spoke.

He startled and looked up at her, “oh, I didn’t hear you come in.”

She only smiled, and he sheepishly smiled right back; he never heard anyone come in. Despite his strange sense for danger, he was entirely capable of slipping away into his own world of information and knowledge. 

Without a moment's hesitation, he shifted to put his feet back down on the floor. The chair was still too far too small, just like it was every other time she found him here, but neither of them suggested bringing in another. Instead, she settled in the small space, with her legs over his and her head rested on his shoulder, so she had a full view of the book still open in his hands. 

He wasn't looking at it anymore, though. His arm had come behind her, both for lack of space and to be somehow closer, and only one handheld the book open. 

He waited for her to settle before speaking, “how was pie with Hitch?”

“It was good,” Annie said, “she hasn’t changed much. Though, I guess I knew she never really stopped talking.”

That got a good laugh from Armin, “yeah, I think she’ll always be that way.”

“It’s a good balance,”

“She doesn’t really need another person to hold a whole conversation,” Armin smiled, “I’m glad you two are friends again.”

Friends. She didn’t think about that word much, but he was right; Hitch was someone she considered a friend, “Yeah, me too.”

With that, he seemed to understand that she was done talking. As much as she’d enjoyed her time with Hitch, it had drained her socially, and she was glad just to sit quietly while Armin read. She liked it when something interested him when he’d go on forever about something she could never hope to understand, but it made him excited, so she just watched as he explained it. 

She liked those moments second only to these ones, where she had her head on his arm as he read, and she began to doze off. The closer they got through fall, the earlier the sun had begun to set, and Armin had to move only once to move the candle closer to see the pages of the book better. As it got later into the evening, and they sat in their small quiet world made up of books and a single candlelight, Annie began to drift off against Armin. 

The rhythmic sound of the pages of his book turning and the steady rise and fall of his long relaxed breaths lulled her closer to his warmth and further into a comfortable doze. In the study, when it was just the two of them, was one of the few places left in the world that Annie could feel this kind of calm and comfort.

Like nearly every night before this one, this was where Jean and Mikasa found them in the middle of the night. Both of them entirely asleep in the too-small chair, Armin’s head on hers, with the candle still burning on the desk beside them. 

This was where they were woken up because Jean didn’t want to hear them bitching about their necks hurting through the whole next day. 

For the first time, however, without a word, they didn’t part ways at the door.

Both of them still half asleep, Armin holding her hand as they walked the darkened hallways, Annie found herself following Armin back to his room in the Scouts headquarters. Though she didn’t appreciate the chilly walk out of the palace towards the entirely unconnected building, she couldn’t complain when she was pulling on one of his nightshirts because she hadn’t brought any pyjamas and found herself falling back asleep tucked against his chest under a layer of blankets that smelt like him.

~*~

Connie hadn’t realized he was avoiding being alone with Reiner until the first time he was alone with Reiner in weeks. 

The conversation they’d had, sparse, awkward and next to empty of substances as it was, had let them get past the worst of the fluster of the slip-up. Apparently, Reiner hadn’t even realized he’d said cutie instead of Connie, which Connie didn’t know how to take, and they both avoided talking about it. 

For the most part, the two of them ignored it. They worked better that way, and it was less awkward if they pretended not to be constantly thinking about the implications of every single glance. That, and any time he saw Pieck, he remembered what she’d said to him.

As much as he liked and respected her, he wished she’d never told him so that he didn’t have to realize that he might have a crush on _Reiner Braun._

Yet, here they were, alone together anyway, because Historia had asked to see the both of them, and yet, she had not arrived.

“I’m starting to think that she’s not coming,” Connie said to break the silence, resting his head on his hand lazily.

Reiner was leaning back on the back two legs of the chair, “would she leave us hanging here?”

“I don’t put anything past anyone anymore,”

Before either of them could say anything, as Reiner was barely through a syllable, the door rattled from the outside, and something was slid beneath it.

“I locked it!” Jean called in, “and I’m not letting you out until you bone-heads talk to each other!”

“Jean? What the hell!” Connie got to his feet and went to try the door.

He wasn't surprised to find it locked, but he pulled on it as hard as he could, pushed on it with all of his strength, and shouted profanities until eventually he just let go of the door. 

“Not cool, man! Let us out!” He banged on the door hard with the side of his fist, but the only sound was Jean’s footsteps retreating down the hallway. 

“Wait, he really locked us in?” Reiner asked, standing and pacing towards the paper that had been slid beneath the door.

Connie rammed his shoulder against the door just as Reiner reached the letter. From where Connie stood, he couldn’t see what was on it, but he gave up trying to ram down a door that was seemingly the most secure door in the whole palace. His shoulder ached from hitting it so hard.

“What’s it say?” 

It took a second longer of scanning before Reiner cleared his throat and responded, “it says _‘we aren’t letting you out of here until you talk to each other. Your behaviour has become increasingly distracting during meetings, and it’s obvious that you guys want to talk but are too proud or stupid to do it. This is your opportunity._ ”

“Uh-huh?” Connie started speaking before his brain had even fully processed the letter, “who wrote it?”

“No one signed it,” Reiner said, turning the letter towards Connie.

“Well, it’s obviously not Jean; I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say the word _increasingly_ in my life,” 

“And it was a lot less blunt than Jean is,”

Connie nodded, squinting at the handwriting. It was also a lot more _feminine_ than Jean’s writing, “is that Pieck’s handwriting?” 

“Pieck?” that seemed to startle Reiner, and he looked back at the letter himself, “I don’t know, but why would Pieck have anything to do with this?”

“Well, it has to be one of the girls, and Pieck can be a little…”

Reiner shook his head, “she’s observant, sure, but I don’t see her doing this.”

After the conversation at the cafe, Connie wasn't so sure that Reiner was right. He didn’t raise the challenge, though, because Reiner knew Pieck better than he did in the end. That did leave the question of who it was, then. 

“I can’t see it being Mikasa,” Connie said after he thought about it for a long moment, “but I can’t see it being Annie either, can you?”

“If it was Annie, it was Hitch’s idea,” there was an amused annoyance in Reiner’s tone, “ _she’s_ nosy and definitely believes she’s the reason Annie and Armin are together. This does feel like something she would think up, but I don’t know why Annie would talk to her about it…”

Connie nodded, but he didn’t know Hitch well either. He met the woman a handful of times, but it was almost exclusively on official business. The few times it’d been anything else was with someone Hitch was friends with, like Annie or Armin. 

“If it’s not Annie or Mikasa, and you’re sure it’s not Pieck, then who’s left?” though as soon as he asked the question, the answer hit him. Reiner seemed to be utterly oblivious to it and only looked confused when Connie finally groaned and rolled his eyes, “it leaves Historia.”

“Why would Historia-?” Reiner cut himself off.

Aside from the line about _being distracting in meetings_ , it was so obviously Historia. She’d largely stayed out of a lot lately because of her kid and general business, but she was a shockingly observant person. Something in her had been crushed after Ymir died and been only further stamped out by her role as queen, but she’d never lost her inherent kindness and surprising meddling. 

If she believed this would do both Reiner and Connie some good, as well as prevent them from being distracting in a meeting, this was absolutely something she’d come up with. 

Which did, however, leave another problem entirely. They were supposed to _talk_ about… _something._

For a long moment, they both stood in complete silence, looking at the letter to avoid looking at each other.

“Well, it looks like we’re going to be in here for a while,” Connie said in a huff, returning to sit back in his chair, “they could have at least left us with snacks or something.”

Reiner didn’t sit for a long moment, but when he did, he set the little face down on the table, “I think they’re hoping we’re not in here long.”

“Bold of them to hope anything,” Connie grumbled.

They were avoiding it. Honestly, Connie was hoping they could avoid it altogether and get out of this through sheer protest alone. They couldn’t actually hope to lock them in here forever, and there was no way they cleared the schedule of meetings for more than just the end of one day. 

They lapsed into another silence that neither of them seemed willing to break. It’d become something of a battle of wills to see who would give in first and say something to the other. The silence was eating away at Connie’s patience. 

“They’re all so nosy,” he grumbled, “when I get out of here, I’m going to give Jean a piece of my mind. I wish I’d spit in his coffee,”

“I wish I’d let you,” Reiner grumbled back. 

Yet another silence fell over them. Connie was almost instantly annoyed by this one, though. He wasn't used to not knowing what to say, and this was _Reiner_. Though, perhaps that was exactly the problem. They’d grown closer again in the years since the Rumbling and begun to rebuild the shattered friendship they’d thought they lost as teenagers. It was in the act of losing that friendship, however, that things had become so complicated.

None of them had ever liked the idea of losing Reiner, even when he was an enemy; the idea of him dying had been a thought they didn’t like considering. Before Sasha died, Connie had an optimism that they’d somehow be able to understand his motives. Seeing him again, working with him again, to defeat Eren, had been the fulfillment of that hope. Unfortunately, by then, Connie had lost all of his optimism.

Part of him couldn’t accept that he’d felt anything for Reiner beyond this friendship because he’d been harbouring that betrayal all this time. It hadn’t been intentional, and it hadn’t been something he’d done to Annie in the same way. Somehow, he’d been holding it against Reiner that he had known his mom was a pure titan without telling him. Yet, he’d still been grateful that Reiner had urged him not to look at or think too heavily about the titan trapped in his house. 

It was an impossible situation, and neither of them was ready to unpack it all.

“This is all because you called me _cutie_ , you know,” Connie said into the quiet room.

Reiner went a bit red at the memory, “don’t remind me,”

“How do you even make that mistake? My name sounds nothing like that,”

“I don’t know,” Reiner’s head was tilted to the table, “because I was thinking about it during the meeting, and it’d just slipped out.”

That got a laugh out of Connie, but it was awkward, and Reiner was too embarrassed to do more than a couple of forced chuckles. Connie spoke again when the laughter died out, “you’re wrong about Pieck not meddling, I think, by the way.”

“Why? She’s always been a bit mischievous, sure, but…”

“She confronted Armin and me at a cafe a while back,” Connie started, before explaining the conversation that Pieck had with both of them, with Jean as their witness. Without it, Connie may not have ever figured out his weird feelings towards Reiner. 

Reiner actually laughed at the idea of it, “poor Jean, being caught up in that.” 

“Yeah, he didn’t help at all,” Connie grumbled, “Armin and Annie were an easy one, so I only give Pieck half points for accuracy. We all knew that they’d be together.”

That seemed to strike something in Reiner because he silenced for a moment before saying, “so she was right?”

“About Armin and Annie? Obviously-” 

“About you and how you feel about me,”

Connie silenced, and he felt his cheeks heat, “of course; otherwise, we wouldn’t be here,” as soon as he said it, though, Reiner quieted, so he quickly added, “but nothing has to come from this. We don’t _have_ to talk; they’ll let us out eventually.”

The brief conversation they’d had over coffee hadn’t been about the slip-up, as much as it was about their friendship. It was awkward at first before dissolving into regular banter. They’d appreciated each other, valued their restored friendship; at the time, that’d been enough.

Reiner didn’t say anything for a long time, and Connie was looking for a way to walk back on what he said. To un-say his admission. He was halfway through a forced fake laugh in an attempt to play it off as a joke when Reiner stood.

He was a tall, large man, but that wasn't what had silenced Connie. It was more with the intense expression on Reiner’s face that he’d never really seen like this before. To a degree, it was akin to the expression he had while he was in a meeting, but there was a soft caution to it that was unique to this moment. 

Connie straightened in his chair, “I- didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I don’t think before I speak, I’m an idiot.”

By the time he finished speaking, Reiner had made his way around the table. His height alone was forcing Connie to need to lean back to look up at the man who’d stopped directly beside his chair.

“We don’t need to talk,” Reiner started. 

“Of course we don’t; they can’t make us,”

Reiner nodded, “but there’s another way to get out of here that doesn’t require us to talk.”

“The letter said to talk-” 

“There are actions that mean the same thing, that would accomplish the same thing,” Reiner tried, and for the first time since he stood, his confidence wavered for a moment. 

It took Connie embarrassingly long to understand what Reiner was implying, and by the time he’d made the smallest, “oh, well if you-” out, Reiner had leaned down and kissed him.

It wasn't gentle; it wasn't delicate; it was needy and a little desperate. That, and with the height difference, it was straining to stay in that position. Connie was surprised to find how much he’d needed to kiss this oblivious man, who was apparently, the same kind of stupid he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not getting a chapter up yesterday, thank you for your patience~
> 
> I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying this fanfiction <3


	19. Sold My Soul to Still Not Know What I'm Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family Day

###### A Week Later

As summer crept closer into fall and the days began to shorten and cool down, Annie, Reiner and Pieck returned to the basement that served as Zeke’s cell. 

It was quiet like it always was when they found themselves sitting on the opposite side of the bars from him. Annie had never known Zeke to be a quiet person, but he seemed to be letting them approach him. Like they were scared animals who’d flinch and flee from him.

To a degree, she was glad for it. He wasn't wrong to treat them like that because they’d stood upstairs from his dungeon for thirty minutes trying to work up to facing him again. 

Though Annie was less afraid of facing him, she was coming back down those stairs into the dungeons. This dungeon wasn't the same place she spent four years, but it didn’t matter. It had nothing to do with the fact that this room had bars where hers hadn’t. It was that all prisons she’d ever been in were darkly lit, underground, and had the oppressive atmosphere of having nowhere to go. 

It made her anxious and set her on edge. She didn’t like sitting down here, and she liked it a whole lot less when the door towards the upstairs closed behind them. 

It wasn't locked; as long as they were inside, it’d stay unlocked, but for some reason, that didn’t seem to matter. It was still a barrier, something to get in her way should she decide she couldn’t spend another second down here.

“You look as though you’ve seen a ghost, Annie,” Zeke said gently, breaking the silence that had fallen over them when the greetings had ended.

Annie shook her head and crossed her arms before she spoke, “most people don’t like dungeons.”

That got a chuckle out of Zeke, who leaned back on his arms and smiled, “well, that’s true, I suppose,” he said. Before speaking again, he looked around his environment, “did they keep you somewhere like this before, too?”

“I thought you believed she’d been hiding out practicing her kicks somewhere?” Reiner interjected, and it surprised Annie to hear the anger in his voice. She hadn’t realized that she had been part of Reiner’s rift with Zeke.

“I was hoping she would be,” he said easily, “but I figured out from Eren’s memories that I was mistaken.”

Annie had wondered what Eren had thought of her, what he’d seen after he knew what she was. It mattered less after the Rumbling, but there was a part of her that still put value in the friendship they’d once had. She didn’t want to hear the theories of what Zeke thought that Eren had thought about her.

“That place wasn't here,” Annie said in means of response.

“I do find that all dungeons look the same, in the ways that matter at least,” 

She was already on edge enough down here; this wasn't helping. Thankfully, Reiner seemed to notice, or at the very least, he decided this wasn't something he was willing to discuss with Zeke.

“What do you do down here all day?” He asked, in a very clearly forced means of changing the subject.

Zeke gestured to a pile of books behind him, “read, mostly. Sometimes I just sit and think. There isn’t much to do down here.”

This change in subject wasn't much better, but Annie kept her discomfort hidden as best she could. She wanted to move, to walk, to stretch her arms out and just remind herself that she was entirely capable of moving her body. She was not the one trapped in a basement anymore; she was not still in the crystal. 

She flexed her toes in her shoes and pushed her bangs from her eyes, trying to keep her rising anxiety from showing too much.

“Does anyone else come down here?” Pieck asked. Her grief had shifted back into calculated anger in the time he’d been imprisoned so far. 

He shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose, “only the guards- or I suppose they’re called Military Police here?” 

“I would’ve thought Commander Levi would’ve come down here by now,” Reiner commented.

Annie was glad to see the tension knot in Zeke’s shoulder at the mention of the Ackerman. All four of them had faced the sheer power that was the Ackerman’s, and though part of Annie pitied any titan shifter who had to face them, she couldn’t feel pity for Zeke anymore.

“He did, once so far,” Zeke started, “but I imagine being a commander is a busy job. I think he liked it better when he thought I was dead.”

The three of them didn’t take the obvious bait. As much as they hated to admit it, Annie had a feeling that, at least to some degree, they’d never have closure if he’d died. Not that he was giving them closure now.

All he seemed good at doing was making their discomfort worse and pushing Annie closer and closer to just leaving on her own. Even with the constant little movements, she attempted when no one’s attention was on her, she was still struggling to keep the walls from closing in on her. Her breaths had become too shallow, too, as though she wasn't capable of getting enough air in her lungs.

None of this was helping her feel like she was out of the crystal. 

“You earned a lot of people’s hatred,” was all Pieck said in response. 

“I suppose that’s true too,” he continued. It was as though he was taking every little thing they said as an excuse to keep talking, to propel his own conversation forward and break the silence he’d been in since he came to this cell. “If I could have done things another way, I would have.”

“It’s hard for any of us to believe that,” Reiner challenged, “I just can’t believe it took us so long to realize this was coming.”

“The rumbling was never what I wanted,”

Pieck shook her head, “it wasn't about that in the end, though, was it?”

“I suppose it wasn't,” he agreed, and for the first time, he looked genuinely remorseful, “Eldians were a curse on the world; that was something I have always known-”

“We know why you betrayed us, Zeke,” Reiner said in a low grumble, “you can save it.”

“What happened to Falco, Colt and Porco were… unfortunate,” he continued anyway.

Pieck bunched up her skirt in her fist, “but you would have had me and Reiner die there too. Wouldn’t you?”

“Perhaps it’s too early to talk about those things,” Zeke tried, in the gentle tone he’d used with them as children. The room went entirely silent for the split moment after he spoke, the atmosphere shifting into something somehow more oppressive. 

Instinctively, Annie’s shoulders tensed, coming up closer to her ears while her arms remained crossed in front of her.

Reiner spoke; next, his tone dark with anger, “you don’t really have any right to tell us when something is too soon.”

“Forgive me,” Zeke waved his hand, and his tone became light again. As though there were nothing between them, “but none of you are looking too good.”

Annie had enough. This whole room had been too much upon entering, and her complicated feelings about Zeke weren’t helping. She pushed off the wall, and without a word, headed to the door.

Both Reiner and Pieck turned to watch her, but Zeke remained undisturbed, as though he’d seen this coming. For a moment, she thought something like pity crossed his expression. 

Reiner called out to her, “Annie?”

“I have to go find Armin,” was all she said, “come find me when you’re done.”

She took the stairs quickly, desperate to be out of the basement and shedding the layers of anxiety with each upward step. Armin and Mikasa were waiting for them at the top of the dungeon stairs, and she knew that Jean and Connie were not far off, also waiting for them. Connie had decided he wanted to wait for Reiner to come up; he was rightfully worried, so she was entirely unsurprised to see both Jean and Connie appear from an adjacent room at the sound of someone coming up the stone stairs.

Though there was some confusion across all four of their faces when it was Annie alone who’d come up, something must have clicked right away in Mikasa’s head. She stepped forward without a word, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Take a breath,” she said calmly.

Annie hadn’t realized that she’d been breathing in quiet, short, desperate breaths. She took in one deep breath at the urge, which had given Armin enough time to react after the initial confusion.

He urged them all from the dungeons’ entrance, stepping closer towards an open window, before speaking, “are you okay?”

Annie nodded, “I’m fine.”

“Reiner and Pieck?” Connie asked, standing closer to the entrance still. 

“They’re still talking to him,” she said simply as she leaned against the windowsill.

She didn’t know what had come over her. She’d noticed it the first time, too; she couldn’t sit the entire time she was down there and couldn’t leave fast enough. This time, they’d been down there longer, and the constant reminders of the crystal had somehow forced her to leave. Had caused her to have no other choice, for fear of suffocating. 

Mikasa gently squeezed her shoulder before releasing it and moving back towards the top of the stairs again. 

Armin moved to stand in front of her, letting her collect herself before either of them said anything. She was glad for it because her mind was still scattered as is. 

When a moment of silence had passed, and Annie caught her breath, Jean broke the silence that had fallen over them, “how’s it going down there? Zeke that bad?”

“It’s the same as it was last time,” she responded simply, “I never liked going underground, even before the four years in the crystal. Now, I’d just rather avoid it in general.”

“Ah- right,” Jean said, rubbing the back of his head like he’d said something wrong, “I guess that makes sense.”

Annie shrugged and turned her attention away. They’d spend a long time dwelling on things that weren’t important if she let them, so she dismissed the topic by simply ignoring it. They had to wait for Reiner and Pieck to resurface anyway, and she’d rather spend that time catching her grip on herself.

\--

There wasn't much to celebrate in Marley’s internment zones, and there were rarely any holidays because no one could take time off work to celebrate much of anything. However, there were small holidays/celebrations that the Eldian’s _did_ celebrate. 

The biggest of those was Family Day.

When it came to an internment zone, family was everything. Family was all they had, really, and Karina was insistent that they bring that holiday to Paradis. She’d seemed semi-horrified to find out that Paradis didn’t have a similar holiday and decided that she wouldn’t allow the Marleyan Eldian’s and their closest friends to go without this year. 

Annie didn’t have the heart to tell her that she hadn’t really celebrated family day either, until her first year back when Karina had invited her and her father over to celebrate. She wondered if her father had ever celebrated it where he’d come from, but she’d never asked. 

That said, she didn’t complain when she found herself setting the picnic table with Mikasa, Pieck and Karina as the boys all prepared the other necessities and brought down extra benches. She’d have helped if the boys hadn’t grown like trees in her absence, making equally distributing the weight of anything between them impossible. 

Just as she’d finished settling the dishes onto the table and brushed off the dust from the benches already brought down, the sound of the boys bickering as they came around the corner drew them all from their calm quiet. 

“You can try to show off all you want, but I’m _starving_ , so I’d rather we just did things quickly!” Connie shouted, clearly midway through the thralls of a disagreement. 

Jean made some form of _tsk_ sound before shooting back, “I’m not showing off; it’s so much faster for me to do this by myself than it is to carry it with you!” 

“Really? Is that why you had to brace yourself not long ago to avoid falling?” Connie shot back.

“You had to take a break in the middle of getting the last bench down the stairs!” 

“You were trying to run!” Connie argued. 

By the time they came into view, all of the girls had been drawn from their tasks to watch the altercation unfold. They carried the final bench between them but were tugging it between them as if they were _fighting_ over it more than they were carrying. 

Annie met Mikasa’s eye from the other side of the table to see the other girl very clearly amused as she continued at her task. The bench fell between the boys in their bickering, and before anyone could say anything, Annie set down the utensils she had in her hand and crossed the courtyard to them.

Without a word, she picked it up from the middle and though it was awkward, she accounted for its weight and her own to lift it and begin walking. Without the momentum of movement, she’d lose her balance, and the weight of the heavy wood and steel would take her out with it.

“A- Annie- we could’ve got it!” Connie startled, raising his hands like he was trying to balance her. 

She just focused until she managed to set it down beside the table, “you brought it far enough. Where’s Reiner?” 

“Upstairs said he was collecting the dessert tray,” Jean said, stretching his back as he spoke.

Connie was clearly still stuck on the display of strength, “If you could carry it on your own, why didn’t you help us? And you too, Mikasa! You’re strong!”

“I couldn’t have safely gotten it down the stairs alone without throwing off my balance, and you two idiots wouldn’t have accounted for the difference in height,” Annie said, as though it were that simple, as she rounded the table back to where she’d been, “and I didn’t want to be involved in watching you two show off.”

Pieck was snickering a bit when she came back but didn’t so much as look up from her task,

“Like you don’t show _off_ from time to time,” Jean challenged, crossing his arms.

“Yeah! We were in a group for training, weren’t we? I distinctly remember you being show-off levels of good,” Connie added. 

Annie pushed her hair out of her eyes and shook her head, “I don’t think it counts as showing off when you’re just faster and stronger than someone. I had years of experience on you,”

“I think it’s more accurate to say a lifetime of experience on all of us,” Reiner added, coming into view with the last of the supplies over his shoulder.

That only got a shrug out of Annie as she continued to go about setting the silverware. As she did, her father and Armin came back with cups and a pitcher of juice. 

“Eren used to say he had a lot of _experience_ , though, no?” Connie asked.

Mikasa shook her head, “he was always interested in the scouts, but he never formally trained. He just challenged bullies,”

It surprised Annie that Mikasa was speaking of Eren at all, but none of them drew attention to it. It was a step in the right direction, and as she paused for a moment when the grief of it must have hit her, Jean gently put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, drawing her a little closer. 

Connie was quick to continue the original conversation, “but Reiner was in the same training as you- oh- you mean what your dad taught you?”

“What else would they have meant, idiot,” Jean shot from across the table.

“I don’t know!” Connie waved his arms incoherently. 

Annie looked between them before glancing towards her father. There was a moment where their eyes met, and neither of them said a word. Their beginnings were unusual and hard to explain to people who were raised differently. It wasn't like she kept it secret; if people asked, she’d usually tell, but it was hard to explain to people who couldn’t understand. People raised in an environment with parents who’d had every intention to be parents couldn’t understand an orphan handed off to a desperate man. 

“A lifetime of experience, though? Seems-” Connie cut himself off when he saw Mr. Leonhardt taking a seat near his daughter. 

“He taught me since I was young,” she said passively, “so it’s natural that I was faster.”

“I kinda thought you were like Mikasa, just like, naturally that good? Inherently,” Connie continued, clearly treading a bit more carefully.

Annie shrugged, “probably not. I just trained a lot.”

“Somehow, that’s not as comforting as I thought it would be,” he grimaced, “between you and Mikasa, there’s no way us normal folk could ever catch up.”

“Don’t feel too bad; no one could,” Reiner said, setting down everything in his hands finally and gently shoving at Connie’s head.

“Easy for you to say! You were number two in graduation!” Connie challenged.

“Number two in graduation?” Karina asked, clearly having listened the whole time.

Mikasa answered, “it was during training to become scouts, only the top ten can become Military Police.”

“There were a whole lot of classmates two, so the top ten was kind of a big deal,” Connie added, gesturing to Mikasa, “she got number one, but that’s no surprise.” 

Reiner shook his head, “I wouldn’t say it was a big deal, seeing as most of us joined the scouts.”

That caused there to be a moment of pause among the group for a moment before Connie gasped and looked towards Annie, “you were the only one of us to join the Military Police?!”

Annie had settled down in the seat next to her father and looked up only when Connie startled, “yeah, I was.”

“I never realized before now,” Connie narrowed his eyes towards Jean, “even though I knew you’d switched, and nearly everyone else had been planning to follow Eren.”

“We weren’t,” Reiner added, “until he transformed.”

There was a moment of tension when the thought of Trost crossed all of their minds simultaneously, but it passed as quickly as it came. Those moments were getting shorter, Annie realized. Easier to manage.

“WAIT, how did we not know, you three looked terrified of the Attack Titan!” Connie groaned loudly and threw his head back, “this is why we aren’t Military Police,”

Reiner laughed and gently shoved him, throwing off his balance enough for him to nearly fall.

“And that explains why you weren’t following my orders,” Jean added.

“We wouldn’t have either way,” Annie said without a second to hesitate.

Jean narrowed his eyes at her, “and that is why you were number four.”

Annie raised an eyebrow, “you’re probably right,” she started, “but then why were you number six?”

Both of them locked eyes for a long moment as Connie, Pieck, and Reiner all tried to hide their laughter behind their hands or arms. They stared for a long time before Annie intentionally broke the impromptu contest with a small laugh released in a breath and a sip of the water on the table.

“I’ll remember this, Leonhardt,” he grumbled but was smiling as he took his seat next to Mikasa. 

From the corner of her eye, she caught her father smiling softly. How must this look to him? As a girl, she’d cared about nothing. Not her own life, and certainly not the lives of others. Even when she started to feel the desire to get home, when she wanted to see her father again and had something in her life she wanted, it took her years to feel close to anyone else.

She’d never had friends, she kept people at arm's length, and she was one-track-minded to get home. Now she was here, with the only people in the world she’d consider true friends and the boy she’d fallen in love with.

As she thought about it, Armin had finished up pouring juice for everyone at the table and handing them out. When he wrapped up, he came around to sit next to her on the opposite side like her father. As he settled into the chair beside her, their hands instinctively found each other beneath the table and out of sight. While the conversation briefly paused, his thumb ran over the back of her in lazy arcs. 

As a girl, she’d never have imagined herself around a table like this on Family Day, with so many people she considered friends and family, even as Gabi and Falco came running down the stairs and joined them at the table next to Karina and Reiner, she felt as though she’d finally been granted the life she’d been denied when her biological parents abandoned her as an infant. 

Pieck’s father arrived with Gabi and Falco, followed by Jean’s mother, who joined them later, and Levi eventually came after a day of meetings. The meal was started with a brief thanks that were introduced by Karina and an encouragement to cherish those at this table and those who hadn’t made it this far.

A broken part of Annie knew that the reason this table looked this way, the reason so many parents, friends, and family members were missing, was because of a sin she committed as a Warrior. She tried to avoid thinking about it as much as possible throughout the dinner, and by dessert, she’d managed to shoo away the worst of the guilt. 

Yet, it hung in the breeze anyway. Ready to knock her over at the slightest misstep or slip up. 

“You’ve made a lot of friends here,” her father started softly to her, pulling her from her thought, “I had begun to worry I’d taken that chance from you.”

Annie startled a bit and turned her attention fully to him. She went to speak, but her words died in her throat on her first attempt to say anything at all. When she managed it the second time, she spoke quietly and chose her words carefully.

“The people I’ve met here are good and better than I deserve,” she said, looking towards the other end of the table. “You didn’t take anything from me if it weren’t for Marley…”

“I realized that there is no excuse for how I raised you,” he said it with so much conviction it silenced her long enough for him to add, “I’m grateful that you were so willing to forgive me that you wanted to come home at all.”

It sounded like it was taking years off his life to say this to her like it was physically painful to think about how he’d hurt her. She’d been raised to know nothing else, and even when it had all gotten too much, and she’d snapped, they’d continued anyway. She was strong because of him, physically, but she was socially and emotionally behind her peers because of him too.

Though, that seemed wrong to think. It was the same as her situation because he’d been forced into desperation by Marley. He’d wound up adopting a child that wasn't his and given her a home. At the end of the day, she was glad to have been raised by him. She’d begun to believe that she’d been born to be his daughter; despite being born to another family, it was always meant to be that she’d found herself raised as a Leonhardt. 

“Of course, I wanted to come home,” it had been all she’d ever been able to think about, “I made a promise, and I wanted to see my father again.”

He smiled at her, and she swore there were tears in his eyes when he reached towards her and put a hand on her head. It was a gesture he’d used to only ever offer when she’d successfully impressed him in training and when she’d eventually joined the Warrior Cadet program. She’d lost value in her life, in all life, but a child never loses value in praise of a parent. 

“You’ve become a good person, Annie,” he said, “you’re stronger than I could’ve raised you to be.”

There was a sudden ache in her chest when he’d said it. Her hand must have stiffened in Armin’s as he squeezed hers in response and leaned forward.

“She’s an incredibly well-liked person,” Armin said warmly, “and she speaks very highly of you. Even in training.”

“I’d argue especially in training,” Jean added from across the table. Annie hadn’t even realized he’d heard the conversation over the chaos at the end of the table between Connie, Reiner, Gabi and Falco. He leaned back before adding, “everyone knew she learned her terrifying kicks from you. I think Eren had tried to learn from her,”

“I’m just a terrible teacher,” Annie was glad for the change in tone, “he learned the move he used on you from having felt me do it to him.”

“He was pretty good at learning that way,” Armin added, “I couldn’t, even though I remember how it felt to suddenly have my legs taken out from under me.”

“It’s not a feeling you easily forget when a 5-foot girl who weighs 90 pounds soaking wet has suddenly entirely thrown you to the ground with enough force to take the wind out from you,” Jean grumbled.

That got a small low chuckle out of Annie’s father that seemed to surprise both boys, “that sounds like my Annie,” 

The conversation at the end of the table got rowdy again, drawing everyone's attention at just the right moment for them to see Gabi slip beneath the table. Not two seconds later, Connie was dramatically attempting not to be dragged under by the invisible force of Gabi. 

For a split moment, it could’ve looked serious, but both of them couldn’t take themselves seriously long enough to keep from laughing. Even as Connie attempted to escape Gabi’s grasp, he was laughing too hard to move more than just cling to the bench. The same seemed to go for Gabi, who Annie knew to be strong enough to be able to drag Connie beneath the table if she’d really wanted to.

She was shouting something incoherently about “my cousin” but was too caught between laughter to be understandable. 

“They’re lively,” Armin laughed, and when Annie glanced over towards him, she felt herself lose breath when their eyes met.

He always smiled with his whole face, and his eyes were so full of light when he laughed. After everything, the world had not stolen the joy in him, and it never failed to take Annie’s breath away. There was a small part of her that envied him, for how easily he seemed to live in the moment he was in.

In moments like this, though, when he was entirely present, it was easier for her to join him. It was easier to remember that she was allowed to be happy when he smiled at her like this. It was easier to find a reason to believe in the future when he looked at her like she was all he could see in his.

Somehow, he seemed to know what he’d done to her at that moment, and he raised his hand to push her hair behind her ear. They let the moment pass to be among the group, but their hands remained knit together beneath the table throughout the conversation.

Levi had remained relatively quiet throughout the chaos. Still, when Armin’s attention was off the end of the table, the two of them sparked a semi-casual conversation about plans they were working on. Annie didn’t listen to the words but liked hearing Armin’s voice as she watched the rest of the table interact.

Karina kept giving her and Armin knowing smiles from where she sat next to her son, and Jean’s mother was exactly how Annie remembered her. Pieck and her father quietly spoke from time to time, but she’d spoken to Reiner or Jean for most of the conversation.

Somehow, despite everything that still lingered between them, this group had managed to find a family in each other. They were fractured, broken, and worse off than they met, but they’d found solace in each other that Annie was only beginning to understand. 

Annie was tired by the end of the lunch, but she followed Reiner and Pieck back to the basement where Zeke was after the table was cleaned up. She hung back, standing by the open door to avoid closing herself in like she had the time before, but she watched as Pieck and Reiner approached the bars and handed him a portion of everything they’d set aside for him.

He seemed surprised but didn’t say more than a thank you.

It was all he needed to say at the moment; anything more may have set them down another repeat of all of the conversations they’d had with him so far.

Despite everything, though, he had still raised them just as much as their parents had, in a way. He’d still been there to carry them from training when they were hurt or lull them back to sleep when the fear of war had woken them up. For better or for worse, Zeke had been a brother to all of them at one time.

Before they’d even sat down for lunch, they’d ensured that they set aside a portion for him. For a moment, no one said anything before Pieck said a soft, “happy Family Day,” that was quietly echoed by Reiner. 

Annie just met Zeke’s eye from across the room, but she turned her attention away as she pushed the door further open. She pulled her hood up when she felt his gaze shift back to them.

“Happy Family Day,” he repeated softly, with grief so present in his voice it was impossible to miss, “all three of you.”

Zeke didn’t deserve their kindnesses, but as they ascended the stairs again, she was glad they’d done it. All three of them were, even past the grief and betrayal of it.

Armin was waiting for her at the top of the stairs, and he took her hand as soon as she was close enough.

“Are you three okay?” he asked carefully.

Annie only nodded, but Pieck responded, “we’ll be just fine, don’t worry about us.”

He smiled at Pieck and only nodded in response. Annie finally let herself yawn a bit, “I need to take a nap,”

“Lay down before we do sparklers tonight,” Pieck suggested.

“Right,” she sighed. She knew her father had likely gone to do the same. Apparently, they were the only two introverts among the group, and Annie was already out of the energy to continue socializing. A nap may only buy her a little longer, but one day wasn't too much to ask of her. 

Armin gently squeezed her hand before he bid farewell to Reiner and Pieck. He seemed to understand her need for quiet as he led her towards the barracks and into his room. As they entered, he pushed the window open to let in fresh air as she slipped from her shoes and took her hair down before laying down in his bed. 

If he wasn't tired, he didn’t complain. He laid down next to her, and he drew her closer to him so that her head was on his shoulder as she began to doze against him. While the world slipped from her awareness, she found herself amazed that she could feel so at ease with another person. With him, she was comfortable, she never found herself tired of spending time with him, and he was able to entertain himself with books that there was never a need to be talking non-stop.

He was all of the things she didn’t know she’d wanted for herself in a person until she’d found it.


	20. I'm Everything that I am Because of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling into Paradis

###### A Month Later

Hitch was persistent in her desire to have lunch with Armin and Annie after they’d “finally made things official.”

As fall had taken full swing over Paradis and the final pieces were falling into place with the negotiations with Marley, all three of them found themselves with the first ounces of free time that lined up in months. Both Armin and Annie had let Hitch choose what they were doing for the day, and Annie was unsurprised when they found themselves at a nice cafe with a river view next to a nice park. 

She was surprised to find that Boris had met them there with Hitch, looking just as Annie remembered him. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I invited Boris,” Hitch greeted as they got closer, “you remember him, right? He’s still a part of the MP’s, but not so much in the same areas that I work.” 

“Long time no see,” he greeted with a lazy wave.

“It’s been a while,” Annie nodded, tucking her hand into her pocket as she approached. 

Hitch grinned at both of them and then towards Armin, “Armin, this is one of our friends from our first month as MP’s, Boris, this is Annie’s boyfriend, Armin.”

“Armin Arlert, right?” Boris added, his tone a bit chiding towards Hitch, “I think he’s more than just someone’s boyfriend, Hitch.”

“Well, he is also a friend of mine, if that’s what you mean, but the rest of it is all boring official stuff,” she waved her hand dismissively, “it’s _much_ more interesting that he’s with Annie.”

Boris rolled his eyes and extended a hand to Armin in greeting, “I’m sure we’ve crossed paths before; it’s good to meet you properly.”

“Same to you,” Armin took his hand and shook it firmly.

It wasn't a stretch to think that Boris had somehow met or come into contact with Armin. Their positions in both the Survey Corps and the Military Police would easily allow for them to come into contact in passing a handful of times. Especially with Armin’s closeness with the Queen. 

“Good, introductions are behind us, now let’s go sit down; I’m _starving_ ,” Hitch grumbled, stepping forward and taking Annie’s arm in hers.

The act was so casual that Annie didn’t even consider tugging her arm free. Even as Hitch glanced back towards Armin with a clearly amused expression, Annie could only find herself mildly entertained. When she met Boris’s eye, she was sure he was doing the same thing she was; avoiding laughing to avoid inflating Hitch’s ego.

When they settled down to eat, Hitch released Annie to let her sit next to Armin but leaned over conspiratorially as soon as the waitress had left with their order. Under her breath, while making direct eye contact with Armin, she whispered, “so it’s been three months. Eh? When should we be expecting wedding invitations?”

“H- Hitch!” Armin startled, going entirely red.

She grinned at him, “I’m kidding. I’ve just watched you pine for four years Arlet, excuse me for being impatient.” She leaned back in her chair before adding, “but I do expect credit, or like, to be named godmother of your future children.”

“That is usually what the best friend’s title is, no?” Annie said passively.

After a moment of pause, Hitch sucked in a dramatic gasp, “I’m your best friend? Awe, you’re too sweet.”

Annie rolled her eyes, “careful; I can still change my mind.”

“Nope, no takebacks, I’ll remember that, Annie,” she pulled out a notebook as she said it, “in fact, I’ll take it in writing.”

The two of them locked eyes in a moment's pause before Hitch just laughed, and the conversation fell back into casual catch-up. Boris had avoided the worst of the chaos that the Southern Division of the 104th class seemed to be at the epicentre of. He worked his way up the ranks alongside Hitch and was glad to be kept out of the worst of the Marley issues too. His focus had always been Paradis and his role as an MP; it wasn't a surprise to Annie that he had managed to stay out of the worst of things.

He’d seemed more successful in doing so than Hitch had been. 

Hitch was seeing someone, a civilian she’d known as she’d grown up. Annie didn’t say it, but she’d been glad to know that Hitch was seemingly healing past Marlow’s passing. The thought of him was never too far to reach, though, and Annie knew it was a wound that would never heal. Some pain wasn't meant to heal; Annie knew that intimately. 

Before parting, they made plans to go on a proper double date with Hitch and her boyfriend when they had time next. On the way back to the barracks, Armin held her hand a little tighter, and Annie had found herself walking closer to his side. 

They were lucky to have both made it through the hell the world had put them through. In spite of the nightmare that had been the years preceding the Rumbling, for both of them in different ways, they stood on the other end stronger than how they’d entered.

Armin had to coordinate another outreach mission with Levi in the early evening that night while the Warriors were sent to receive a small wave of Eldian refugees that were a part of Marley’s most recent negotiations.

They waited for each other as their daily tasks ended, and despite the tired, they both felt from a long week of work, neither of them was ready to sleep. It was all catching up to her, all of the close calls, all of the years of not-knowing, and every moment they thought they’d never find an ending where they could be together, rushing forward and pushing them closer together all at once.

It wasn't the first time they found each other like this, intimately intertwined with the door locked and the curtains closed. It was the first time they found each other like this with some form of purpose. They weren’t making up for lost time; they weren’t desperate to release the years of longing and desire; they were caught up for things too long for. 

\--

Historia had managed, after months of negotiations, to get Marley to pay what they owed to the Warriors. They’d be paying for as long as the Warriors lived, even as they took up permanent residence in Paradis. 

Despite how long it took and months of living in the guest quarters of the Palace, around the same time, Historia had managed to set up permanent living arrangements for the Warriors and their families in Sina. 

Karina, Mr. Leonhardt and Mr. Finger had all agreed to start their new permanent lives in Paradis in the same home. At least until they managed to get settled and began to understand the culture and environment they’d been dropped into after the attempt on their lives. 

The Warriors had found permanent positions that served both the Eldian’s of their birthplace in Marley and their friends here in Paradis. Annie was glad to be done fighting; for the first time in her life, she could happily avoid conflict and only train when she needed to so she could keep up her skill. Aside from a few joint missions with the Military Police or trouble with the remaining Yeagerites, there were no more battles to be fought for all of them. 

Somehow, they’d found themselves in the future that Armin had dreamed for them, despite the rest of them losing hope of ever seeing a future without war. 

Reiner met his mother at the new place, having picked up the furniture they’d gotten from a nearby shop and the boxes that the rest of the Braun family had brought over to Paradis when Gabi’s parents had gone to collect them.

Annie and her father had yet to get to the new place, and Pieck’s father was seeing a doctor to ensure that he was well taken care of in Paradis. As such, Reiner wasn't surprised to enter an almost entirely silent home, but as he stepped past the threshold, he was surprised to see his mother standing in the middle of the only half-unpacked kitchen unmoving.

“Mom?”

She startled a bit, turning to face him, “oh- Reiner dear,” she smiled, setting down the rag in her hand, “welcome back.”

“Yeah,” he started carefully, “are you okay?”

“Of course I’m okay,” she crossed the room to him, gently placing a hand on his head, “I’m just glad this is all truly over.”

He knew what she meant in an instant. Living in the palace, things had felt stagnant. Annie and her father had nearly been assassinated, and they found themselves in Paradis within a day of the initial attempt on their lives. They’d spent a lifetime there; the Braun’s had lived in Liberio for generations before the Rumbling. They’d lived in Marley for their whole lives, and then within the span of two years, they were displaced twice as a result of the decisions of other people. 

It was hard to let it sink in that this was it, that Paradis was their destination when they’d been through hell to find themselves here. Now that they were officially moving into homes, barracks, and jobs without armbands and the risk of being beaten within an inch of their lives by soldiers, it was hard to take in. 

“Do you like it here? In Paradis?” 

She thought about it for a long moment, drawing back and looking out the window. She spoke quietly when she’d decided what to say, “it’s different,” she started, “but not in an entirely bad way. There aren’t Marleyan soldiers to be afraid of; there is no reason to believe that we can’t safely leave our homes at any point in time. We aren’t kept caged in internment zones, either.”

“Even after becoming honorary Marleyan’s, we were never truly free in Marley,” Reiner agreed.

“That’s true,” she said, “but it was also home. I met good people there; we had a community that we were cherished in. We are safer here, and wherever you are, I’ll be, but there are always things to miss about that place.”

He nodded but found that he didn’t truly understand what she’d lost. He’d never been a part of that world like she was; he was a Warrior, he was raised among the Military before he’d come to live in Paradis in 845.

The Warriors had lost their home slowly, in a different way than their parents had lost theirs. They’d lost their home when they’d been raised as soldiers, then again when they’d been sent to Paradis, and again when they lost the very people they’d been raised around. Marcel first, followed by Bertholdt, Colt, Porco, and in a way, they lost Zeke too. Even Magath, Zophia and Udo, who’d been members of their Warrior family for a shorter period of time but were just as important to the home they’d build for each other. 

His mother had lost Libero all at once, had lost the world she’d built her life around in a single swoop that had sent them on the trajectory to this moment. 

It was one thing they may never truly understand about each other. 

“You’re likeable, mom,” Reiner said lightly, “you’ll find a community here.”

“Don’t worry about me, dear,” she smiled, placing her hands on both sides of his cheek to bring his head down so she could kiss his forehead, “I have you here, I have my brother’s family, and the family you introduced me to with Annie, Pieck and the others. At the end of the day, that’s all I need.”

He smiled, but before he spoke again, his mother stepped back and grabbed the rag again.

“Besides,” she continued, “what’s this I hear about you and Connie?”

All at once, the sweet atmosphere was entirely replaced with a flustered embarrassment washing over him, “how-?”

“Me, Mr. Leonhardt and Mr. Finger had a good view of the courtyard when we would sit for tea together,” she responded with a simple shrug, “it was a coincidence that we overheard the commotion when your friend Jean had let the two of you out of the meeting room that day.”

“You’ve known for that long? And didn’t say anything till now!?”

“I had a feeling before then too, love; I’m your mother. A parent always knows,” she started to put glasses away as she continued, “I was waiting until you came to me. Are you together?”

“Well-” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, I guess, but we’re taking things slowly.”

She smiled at that, “I’m glad you’ve found someone. Who would have thought both you and Annie would find yourselves with people from Paradis? I suppose it’s a good thing we moved here for more than one reason.”

“Yeah… if we hadn’t been forced out, I don’t know if we would have found ourselves together like this…” he said quietly. It was strange to talk about this kind of thing with her, but maybe it was a normal thing to discuss with a mother, “you knew about her too?”

“Well, of course,” she said nonchalantly, “she’s become like a daughter to me, and neither of you two is particularly good at hiding how you feel about someone. I think it’s charming,”

He flushed red again, and she just released an amused chuckle. They continued to talk like mother and son as they busied themselves around the kitchen, unloading all of the boxes into cupboards and drawers. 

Reiner realized then that despite all he’d lost to get here, he was glad to have made it through the nightmare. Through the darkest hours, the losses, and the rock bottom low he found himself after returning to Marley, he’d kept himself standing despite it all.

Even if he didn’t deserve it, even if there were others more worthy of the happy ending, he was glad to have dragged himself through it all if it meant making it to this moment here. If it meant being here when Annie had needed him, if it meant putting away dishes with his mother, and if it meant finding his person in Connie, he was glad that he hadn’t let the darkness consume him those few years ago.

\--

Annie and Armin helped move in Annie’s father as Karina was busy working on a small collection of plants she was tending to on the house’s front porch. He couldn’t do a lot of the heavy lifting with his bad leg, but he made himself useful throughout the shopping and tidying around the new home. 

They hadn’t brought a lot from their home in Marley, but they had little left after the Rumbling anyway. Most of the moving process had become shopping, tidying and organizing the spaces in the home that would be his. Karina had insisted that they didn’t need to worry themselves with anything else. Still, Annie had caught Armin dusting and sweeping the entire first floor and bathrooms around the home before returning to help them upstairs in the study. 

“It’s surprisingly quiet in this neighbourhood, despite being so close to the palace,” Armin started as he opened the study window to let out some of the stale air. 

“Sina was always pretty quiet, in my memory,” Annie said, glancing towards her father, “it’ll be a good start.”

“It’s not so bad,” her father said easily, “it never got so quiet in the internment zones,”

“You’re okay with this?” She asked after a moment of quiet. 

He nodded, “change is good, even for an old man like your father.”

“I’m sorry there had to be changed at all,” Annie said, before glancing towards Armin and then back at her father, “but I’m glad it’s worked out the way it did.”

“Don’t apologize for Marley’s injustices, Annie,” her father chided gently. 

She nodded, but she couldn’t stop herself from seeing these events as mistakes of her own. It was the part of herself that was only understood by Reiner, who’d had broken the walls with his own hands, who had been burdened with the hatred of the world since he was a child. Just like she’d been after she’d called the titans with her voice and after she’d killed so many scouts with her own hands.

It was one thing to say that she shouldn’t feel the weight of the guilt; it was wholly different to see the nightmares of it in the first person. 

Armin’s hand came onto her shoulder when he’d seen the shift in her energy, drawing her from her own shattered thoughts and back into the moment. He smiled at her, rubbing her arm a bit, “and the military quarters aren’t that far away either, so visiting will be easy.”

“That’s true,” she smiled, “it’s a lot closer than the nearly three-hour commute in Marley.”

“It was really that far?” Armin startled, looking towards Mr. Leonhart.

“The farther from the Military, the better when it came to the internment zones,” he responded.

Annie chuckled at that, drawing Armin’s hand into hers and nodding, “I can agree to that. It isn’t so bad here,”

“I’m glad it… isn’t so bad when compared to Marley,” Armin responded with a little grin.

She punched his hard lightly, placing a finger on his nose, “you know what I mean.”

He laughed, swatting her hand away playfully. 

“If it makes you happy to be here, Annie, I owe you at least this much,” her father said softly as he sat down heavily on the chair.

Both of them turned to him in surprise for a moment, but it took Annie a moment to respond, “I am happy here,” she said simply, “but you don’t owe me anything; just coming home to you was enough.”

He smiled, setting his cane down as he turned his attention to Armin, “I suppose there are worse people that my daughter could have chosen,” he commented carefully, “there are worse places for us to have ended up, too.” 

Armin went red and nodded, “I’m just glad that both of you are safe from Marleyan interference, but I hope that you find peace here too.”

Annie wasn’t sure there was peace in the life of a Warrior, but if there were any chance for it, it was here. With the scouts who’d forgiven them in spite of the crimes between them and in the place, they’d done inexcusable crimes against, they’d somehow found a place to call home. 

More than any place she’d ever lived since she found herself handed to her father as a baby, Paradis had become a place she found the only friendship she’d ever known. It had become the place she found love and redefined her definition of life. 

There were worse places she could call her home, just as there were no better people in the world she could call her family. 

As silence fell over them for a moment before they continued their conversation, Connie’s voice ricocheted up the stairs towards them in a piercing shout from the door, “oi! Anyone home?”

Armin laughed in that way that made Annie’s chest constrict as he leaned out of the room and called back, “we’re upstairs!”

“Well, come down!” he called, “we brought lunch!”

Annie’s father sighed a bit, but the other two in the room couldn’t fight the amused laugh that Connie so easily coaxed from them. Annie helped her father get back to his feet before the three of them made their way back down the stairs to the source of the call. 

When they reached the kitchen, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Reiner, Pieck, Karina and Mr. Finger were already downstairs waiting for them. The table was set with a buffet-style of various foods and drinks. No dining room was large enough for ten people, and when Gabi and Falco eventually arrived, the group had migrated to the living room with plates piled high with food. 

The parents sat on the couches and chairs, with everyone else taking up space on whatever other seating was available or the floor. When Annie settled in a dining room chair brought over for extra seating, and Armin sat on the floor leaning against her legs, the world settled into a peace entirely foreign to the life Annie had lived up until this moment.

Somehow, she’d found herself doing the one thing she thought she was incapable of doing; she was thinking of only the present. She let herself wonder if she’d been born to find herself eating sweetbread with Armin leaning against her legs as a family of people ate lunch around her.


	21. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiplogue

## Epilogue

###### Two and a Half Years Later

There was a graveyard where the Yeager house used to stand in Shiganshina, surrounded by a community that had been rebuilding for years in the wake of the titans disappearing. In the spring, the trees sent as a gift from Hizuru shed flower petals in the breeze and dusted the stone graves in the gentle smell of flowers. 

It was the best time of year to visit, when the weather had turned up from winter and without the memories of the summer a decade before. It was too early for the flower petals to be falling in March, but they were budding in the trees and the wind still smelt of fresh rain and early spring grass.

Mikasa often visited the empty grave that listed the mother figure she lost that day and the brother she’d lost years later. It sat in the back of the graveyard, where Carla had once stood doing laundry as she waited for them to get back home at the end of a long day. 

There were no remnants of the home she’d once found solace in after what she’d thought at the time was the worst thing she’d ever go through. Instead, the only thing that still stood was the stone steps that used to lead to the threshold of a happy family home that instead leads to the gated entrance of one of a dozen graveyards in the Shiganshina District. 

This was the first time she visited with her son, Flynn, who cooed obliviously in her arms as she crouched to set the flowers at the base of the gravestone. 

It was Eren’s birthday, the fifth to pass since the Rumbling ended. Though, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d celebrated this day with the boy she’d once known. As the years went on, she realized that she’d lost Eren long before he took his last breath.

“Happy birthday, Eren,” she said softly as she stood.

The pain of losing him had gotten easier to handle, but his birthday always hurt the same.

When she stepped back, Jean’s arm was waiting to brace her to him. He squeezed her arm, but his eyes remained on the name etched in the stone, “happy birthday, you suicidal maniac.”

This part was never easier. 

The gate opened on the other side of the graveyard, shortly followed by Armin’s voice, “Oh, you’re already here,”

“Flynn woke us up early,” Jean said, his tone light as he turned to face the new arrivals. 

“Sounds about right,” Armin chuckled as he approached, holding another bouquet. 

Annie had followed quietly behind him, holding the hand of a little blonde boy who looked more and more like his father every year. Everett tugged on his mother’s hand impatiently, but she held fast as Jean took Flynn from Mikasa and stepped back with her.

This was a moment for the two of them to honour someone who’d once meant the world to them. They’d all lost a friend when Eren had chosen the path of genocide, but Armin and Mikasa had lost family. It had been like losing a part of themselves to lose him after everything they’d managed to live through before it. 

“Happy birthday, Eren,” Armin said softly, “this is your first time seeing Flynn, isn’t it, Eren? He’s got the same birth month as you.” 

Mikasa smiled at that, turning to look at the baby who was only weeks old in Jean’s arms. He had his father’s nose, but babies often didn’t look like anyone this young.

“Everett’s gotten so much bigger too; he brought you something,” as Armin said it, he turned to the little boy and gestured for him to come over.

Annie released his hand, and within a moment, Everett had bounced to his father’s side with a small woven bag in his hands. 

“Want to show uncle Eren what you brought?” Armin asked, kneeling to be closer to his height.

The boy nodded excitedly, fumbling with the bag until the drawstrings gave way and opened, “seashells! Like papa likes!” 

The shells the boy took out and lined the bottom of the grave with were mostly small, broken and common shells that existed all across the beach. They were Everett’s favourite, and he gave them to everyone he met. The few times they’d come to visit Carla or Eren this year, and Sasha, not long before this visit, he’d brought shells to leave with them. 

“He was talking about giving them to you all morning,” Armin added as the boy lined them up as carefully as his pudgy hands could manage. 

Annie smiled softly from next to Jean, watching from a small distance she’d left between them. 

“From mama’s old home!” 

That got a small chuckle from Armin and Annie before Armin added, “We visited a month ago; he wanted to spend the whole day on the beach to get you shells he didn’t think you’d seen before.”

“He’s good at finding them,” Annie added softly as the boy returned to her with a handful of the more broken ones he had deemed unworthy of Eren and Carla.

“You would have loved him, Eren,” Armin went on softly, as Mikasa fought tears at his side, “both of them, though Flynn doesn’t do much yet.”

“Not true; he does a lot of babbling and has a vicious grip on him,” Jean challenged. 

All four of the adults laughed before lapsing into a brief silence. Some wounds were too deep to heal, and some griefs too painful to ever truly move on from. Eren had done so much bad at the end of his life, but the boy they’d once known had been nothing but good and passionate. The world had just become too much for him, the weight of his pain had become too heavy, and somehow he’d diluted himself into a genocide they had to end his life for.

When Connie and Reiner eventually joined them, before they all decided to go to lunch at a nearby restaurant, his presence felt so close it was like he walked only feet behind them through the streets that had once been his home.

At every corner, it felt as though he’d be waiting for them to catch up to him. He’d always run too far ahead of them, somewhere out of reach where they couldn’t follow. 

Maybe he was waiting for them somewhere, but if he were, they’d keep him waiting. This time, there was no rush to catch up to him. He could wait with his mother, the boy he’d been before the world had become too much for him, and when the time came in the distant future, they’d find themselves reunited again.

There shouldn’t have been a world without him in it, but Eren Yeager had died long before his body took its last breath. Mikasa was just glad that he could rest, and until they came to join him, they could visit the only earthly place they had that reminded them of the boy that existed before the monster he’d become before death.

For now, they had found peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for coming along with me on this journey of healing wounds created by the cannon of AoT.
> 
> I wasn't expecting this fanfiction to be the things that dragged me through the pain that was the last couple of weeks, but the comments I've gotten from all of you have been the light in the darkness and kept me motivated throughout the editing process. I'm so glad it could do for others what this fanfiction had been for me. I started writing this when I became aware of how sad this manga was going to end, and I needed to promise these characters the happy ending they deserved. 
> 
> Annie, Reiner, Jean, Connie, Mikasa, Pieck and Armin have taken over my brain throughout all hours of the day. While I was initially writing the draft of this fanfiction, I found myself wandering around at work thinking about chapters, beats, and concepts I wanted to explore in this fanfiction. There are so many little things introduced in the manga that I was desperate to flesh out, and I'm so glad they landed with you guys by the sounds of the comments. <3
> 
> That said, I didn't cover everything I was hoping to. There were other scenes I had hoped to write, other ideas I wanted to include that couldn't fit in this story as it was forming. As such, keep an eye out for a collection of short stories or one-shots that will exist in the timeline of Destined to Burn. I will likely taking a little break before I get back into writing as I'm still mourning my grandmother, and I'm still a full-time student, but I promise the one-shots and scenes will be coming. 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading and enjoying, and may Destined to Burn help heal your wounds after whatever hellscape Hajime Isayama has planned for us.


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